Is all flirting romantic/relationship inclined?

[Pacion]

On another thread ...

Things like going to... restaurants

:nope: flirting opportunities are being missed here :wink: :lol: ....

Yeah, I can see it now. I'm there alone flirting with someone else's boyfriend or husband and all of a sudden, BAM! I get smacked in the head with a dinner roll and a bowl of soup poured on my head. :? Yeah, I'm missing out on a whole lot. :roll:

My response on that thread:

:nope: Firstly, I have never knowingly flirted with someone else's boyfriend or husband (but I have to admit, that asking someone their maritial/relationship status within 5 seconds isn't also in the things that I do straight away :? I do look for things like wedding rings though :D )

Also, it takes two to tango, so if he starts flirting with me, I should hope that his SO would smack him in the head too :evil: :lol:

I like to be silly and generally will say silly things which can and may be taken as flirting. I do the same with male gay friends.

At what point does the silliness become flirting or the flirting becomes more than silliness? If you are confused, I will try and explain later - rushing just now on a deadline :?

:D

[danceguy]

I think picked the wrong forum to ask this question in sweets! :kissme:

[peachexploration]

On another thread ...

Things like going to... restaurants

:nope: flirting opportunities are being missed here :wink: :lol: ....

Yeah, I can see it now. I'm there alone flirting with someone else's boyfriend or husband and all of a sudden, BAM! I get smacked in the head with a dinner roll and a bowl of soup poured on my head. :? Yeah, I'm missing out on a whole lot. :roll:

This is just one aspect of flirting.

Flirt: 1. To act amorously without serious intentions. 2. To trifle or toy, as with an idea 3. to move jerkily.

To answer your question, no I don't think all flirting is romantic/relationship inclined.

[Sagitta]

I must agree with peach. I too am short on time right now. Especially with df slowing down on me as I try to entertain people with photos. :headwall:
:)

[Jmatthew]

On the contrary, I would say that most flirting ISN'T romantically inclined. Flirting is so early in the romantic process that it's completely removed from it in my humble opinion. Is testing a water with your toe swimming?

Most people I know flirt with anything that moves as a matter of course, it's fun and usually harmless and just an amusing brand of humor and lightheartedness.

[DWise1]

I would agree that most flirting is not to indicate romantic interest.

Welllll, not exactly. Flirting does indicate romantic interest, but the deciding difference is in the degree of interest. Flirting is part of the natural personal communication (to differentiate it from business/professional communication) between individuals of differing genders. If we see someone we think is attractive to any degree then we will react to that and act accordingly, that is to express interest in that person. But most of the time that interest is very slight, such that most would say that there was no romantic interest, just harmless social interaction -- and yet that very small degree of interest was indeed there. I believe that the degree of interest that is present should be discernable from the manner and intensity of the flirting (though I am speaking from a purely theoretical position here).

Now I have stated before that flirting was something I could never understand. That was to say that I have always been a rather serious type and I had never learned to read the signs well enough to distinguish serious flirting from casual. As a married man, I could safely ignore those signals while learning and becoming attuned to my wife's signals (so much so that I could never properly lead this one woman whose signals were too much like my wife's when she was very displeased with me).

But now that I'm starting to transition back to being single, I realize that I really need to learn to read those signals. I'm getting to the point of noticing them, but I cannot discriminate between the serious and the casual signals yet. The other night in WCS class, I found myself being bombarded repeatedly by these signals. It seemed like sensory overload; I felt overwhelmed and at a loss as to how to interpret any of it, let alone how to react.

Pygmalion, was that part of the "shell shock" that you described recent divorcees as undergoing? (from memory, reference was to "shell shocked" recent divorcees visiting the clubs for the first time). I won't even be put into play for another 5 months (papers just now got served); does it get even worse?

OK, here's my plan:
Stop being so serious.
Assume a much lower level of interest on her part so as to avoid misinterpretation. (part of my not being so serious anymore)
Respond in kind as much as possible (hey, if I'm going to be caught up in a game, I may as well learn how to play). Err on the side of caution if she's overly friendly and on the side of pleasantness and cordiality if she's not friendly.
Don't pursue a relationship (part of not being so serious), but rather let one develop if it will. Just enjoy her company and let her enjoy mine. Besides, watch out for that first relationship because it will be a dusey.
Stop being so serious.


Uff da!

[DWise1]

Another thought occured to me when I looked at the title of this thread. Since we're out there on the dance floor in a "three-minute relationship", then, yes, flirting while dancing would indeed be "relationship inclined".

[squirrel]

No, not necessarily! Sometimes is just fun! And tension-relief!

[pygmalion]

Hmm. Interesting. I've never gone on to have a relationship with someone I'd flirted with -- flirting is for strangers. Real relationships, for me, start with introductions by mutual friends, or beng together in some other context (such as school or work) for long periods of time.

For me, relationships start in the mind. Flirting comes from somewhere else entirely -- not sure where -- my silly bone, maybe? wherever that is. :wink: :lol:

[Sabor]

No, not necessarily! Sometimes is just fun! And tension-relief!

no gracias!.. i prefer to be tense at all times.. even while asleep

:lol:

[Pacion]

It takes a heart .. to dance,
a spirit .. to shine,
a mind .. to create
a feeling .. to connect
a body .. to sensualize
taming a rythm made to inflame..
ahh passion, in my heart .. my .. heart

Lovely Sabor. Just one comment. :roll: You spelt passion incorrectly :wink: I believe it should have been Pacion :wink: :lol:

[SDsalsaguy]

It takes a heart .. to dance,
a spirit .. to shine,
a mind .. to create
a feeling .. to connect
a body .. to sensualize
taming a rythm made to inflame..
ahh passion, in my heart .. my .. heart

Lovely Sabor. Just one comment. :roll: You spelt passion incorrectly :wink: I believe it should have been Pacion :wink: :lol:
:doh:

[pygmalion]

Ah ha! I KNEW there was an ulterior motive behnd picking that particular user name. :roll: :wink:

[ratherbdancing]

More often then not, at my high school flirting is not relationship- inclined. Actually i would say that very rarely the person that is flirting has any intention of going past flirting. Its just something to keep you occupied. lol. Obviously sometimes there are other intentions behind the flirting which dont need to be mentioned here...... :?

[pygmalion]

To me, flirting is as natural as breathing and has about as much romantic significance. It's just something I do ... um ... constantly. :oops: :lol:

Romance takes a lot more thought.

[Pacion]

It takes a heart .. to dance,
a spirit .. to shine,
a mind .. to create
a feeling .. to connect
a body .. to sensualize
taming a rythm made to inflame..
ahh passion, in my heart .. my .. heart

Lovely Sabor. Just one comment. :roll: You spelt passion incorrectly :wink: I believe it should have been Pacion :wink: :lol:
:doh:

rotfl :lol: Glad to say that I haven't become predictable as yet :wink:

Ah ha! I KNEW there was an ulterior motive behnd picking that particular user name. :roll: :wink:

:lol: no, but it does come in very handy from time to time, if you know/see what I mean :twisted: :lol:

[Vince A]

Jmatthew asked . . . Is sticking your toe in the water swimming???

Now I would say "no," but neither is attempting to stand up in the deep end. Either way, you will eventually get in over-your-head.

And like Jenn, I'm a flirt, a big flirt. I used to live to flirt. It always got me in (great) trouble. I'm Italian . . . it's part of our blood.

I'm married now. I flirt with my wife all the time, so it is romantically inclined for me.

[Anonymous]

I'm a bad flirt. Things come out of my mouth that are really DUMB (whether trying to flirt or recite the alphabet, it doesn't matter).

Flirting and being flirted with is FUN- it's an ego boost to be flirted upon, and it's just wonderful when you deliver a real gem of a line. Flirting is like cerebral intercourse :lol:

And, there are many factors that contribute to flirting. It's much easier to flirt or be goofy on here where nobody can see me face-to-face. I am definitely not a flirt face-to-face with people- anymore. I hate to ride the fatwagon into the ground, but I have to be honest and say that I feel as if I'd be going out on a limb and risking embarassment trying to be "fun" or "flirty" to anyone at all now- I would see myself as presumptive or something.

I love to laugh and joke and cut up, here or otherwise, regardless of how boneheaded I come across as, though. I like funny stuff wherever it happens to be, but I always hate it if it flies over someone's head or something.

There are so many factors the obsessive-compulsive and paranoid can manufacture, isn't there? LOL.

[DWise1]

Flirting is like cerebral intercourse :lol:
Well, of course. I've heard -- and tend to agree -- that our principal sex organ is the brain.

[etp777]

Bump - Stirring the pot (Though I am noticing that Pacion was responsible for all three of these. :) )

[Masaya]

I know this is somewhat off topic, but I'm especially annoyed at the general expectation that once you are in a relationship, you can't go flirting with other people. I agree that flirting is a casual thing, not to be taken too seriously. I've never understood guys who tell their girlfriends that they can't go out with male friends, or vice versa. I think it's a lack of self-esteem or something.

Whenever my ex-girlfriend and I went out to clubs or such, I didn't have any qualms about flirting with other girls and likewise never minded at all when guys hit on my ex. I also encouraged my ex to go to lunch/dinner with her male friends. She actually started to get upset at my complete lack of jealousy against guys hitting on her. I told her that there was no reason for me to get jealous because a) I had complete faith in our relationship, and b) if she did indeed cheat on me, well it just means that I was wrong and we are not meant to be together after all. I think the casual way in which I said the last statement really scared her into staying loyal...

[Pacion]

Bump - Stirring the pot (Though I am noticing that Pacion was responsible for all three of these. :) )

Hey! My 'alibi' is I was in a flirting mood at the time!

The more interesting thing is..............and what Enquiring Minds would like to really like to know is............... what is leading you to find them! :raisebro:

[etp777]

Heh, my excuse is that I'm in a flirtin gmood too, and anyone I might want to flirt with (and I'm still not confessing who ;) ) is 8000 miles away. :)

[Stagekat]

To answer the original questoin this Thread asks...

Is all flirting relationship inclined?

No..most definately not... and it's too bad when lines get crossed like that...

Heh, my excuse is that I'm in a flirtin gmood too, and anyone I might want to flirt with (and I'm still not confessing who ;) ) is 8000 miles away. :)

... awww... but confession is good for the soul etp... ;) :D

[Pacion]

... awww... but confession is good for the soul etp... ;) :D

Yep and doesn't Stagekat look like a "saint" in her profile photo! ;) :lol:

[etp777]

hahaha. Kat is LAST person I'd confess to on this topic. :) Because anyone I might have aeven a passing interest in flirting with (for fun or serious) falls into one of three categories with kat.1. She knows them2. She knows someone who knows them3. She knows my parents and sister, so she can get me in trouble even if they don't fit in one or two.I'll keep my secrets. ;)

[Pacion]

hahaha. Kat is LAST person I'd confess to on this topic. :) Because anyone I might have aeven a passing interest in flirting with (for fun or serious) falls into one of three categories with kat.1. She knows them2. She knows someone who knows them3. She knows my parents and sister, so she can get me in trouble even if they don't fit in one or two.I'll keep my secrets. ;)

Oops! I didn't realise. So much for "Six Degrees of Separation"! In your case, it seems more like two! :lol:

With all due respect to Stagekat, don't even dig a hole in the ground and whisper into the hole. The rabbits might hear and mention it to Stagekat in passing! :lol:

[lcdancesport]

Oops! I didn't realise. So much for "Six Degrees of Separation"! In your case, it seems more like two! :lol:

With all due respect to Stagekat, don't even dig a hole in the ground and whisper into the hole. The rabbits might hear and mention it to Stagekat in passing! :lol:


Did someone mention rabbits? Rabbits with pancakes on their head? :p

[lcdancesport]

I know this is somewhat off topic, but I'm especially annoyed at the general expectation that once you are in a relationship, you can't go flirting with other people. I agree that flirting is a casual thing, not to be taken too seriously. I've never understood guys who tell their girlfriends that they can't go out with male friends, or vice versa. I think it's a lack of self-esteem or something.

Whenever my ex-girlfriend and I went out to clubs or such, I didn't have any qualms about flirting with other girls and likewise never minded at all when guys hit on my ex. I also encouraged my ex to go to lunch/dinner with her male friends. She actually started to get upset at my complete lack of jealousy against guys hitting on her. I told her that there was no reason for me to get jealous because a) I had complete faith in our relationship, and b) if she did indeed cheat on me, well it just means that I was wrong and we are not meant to be together after all. I think the casual way in which I said the last statement really scared her into staying loyal...

Yeah I totally agree. My bf is fine with the fact that I teach other guys and dance with other guys at social parties. I also hang out with guys from my studio once in a while too, usually in a group setting with other students and/or teachers.

If he were opposed to this, I don't know if we would work out too well considering I couldn't see myself giving up dance anytime soon.

He also has a number of girl friends and he'll call them up every once in a while, get lunch here and there and sometimes hang out in a group. At first I think I was worried only b/c I didn't know them, but then I met them and that worry went away.

Flirting is just a natural thing, it's fun, it's a confidence booster, just know where the lines are.

[etp777]

And CLEARLY in addition to all that, you have no issue with flirting with guys on forums. ;)

[lcdancesport]

And CLEARLY in addition to all that, you have no issue with flirting with guys on forums. ;)

shhhhhhhhhhhhhh :rolleyes:

I blame Friday, I'm in a good mood.

[Stagekat]

Yep and doesn't Stagekat look like a "saint" in her profile photo! ;) :lol:

LOL! Yeah right!... you should see the other half of that picture :)

etp and I do travel in much the same circles as far as dance studios go... but I had to ask anyway... It never hurts to ask... there just doesn't have to be an answer...

Curiosity killed the cat right? This Kat is no exception to that rule...

[etp777]

Definitely doesn't hurt to ask. I'm just not going to answer. ;)Or if you prefer, I'll plead the fifth, because at least some that I've had interst in over last year woudl DEFINITELY incriminate me. :D Course, at least some have also been mentioned on this board in various threads, but I'll leave taht as a task for the curious (and REALLY bored, if you actually take the time to search for those posts).

[noobster]

It's much easier to flirt or be goofy on here where nobody can see me face-to-face. I am definitely not a flirt face-to-face with people.

Whoa! I'm the total opposite. I'm pretty straightforward on the boards - won't usually post for a no-reason kind of thing, only if I have something to say. That's not conducive to flirting.

OTOH I can be a huge flirt in real life. It really depends on the other person. If it's clearly someone who also loves the game, I don't hold back. I don't usually initiate though, because there are plenty of people out there who just don't get the whole aimless-flirting-is-fun thing and I wouldn't want to impose it on them (nor would it be fun to try).

[fascination]

I can flirt when it doesn't matter..when it does, I am horribly shy

[samina]

I can flirt when it doesn't matter..when it does, I am horribly shy

twins in that regard. was gonna say to the letter... but you beat me to it, lol. :)

[fascination]

am so looking forward to meeting you

[etp777]

You two in the same place in real life? That's a recipe for trouble alright. Fun though. :)

[DancePoet]

Bump - Stirring the pot (Though I am noticing that Pacion was responsible for all three of these. :) )
Why of course. :lol:

[DancePoet]

I can flirt when it doesn't matter..when it does, I am horribly shy
Good to know. ;)

[DancePoet]

twins in that regard. was gonna say to the letter... but you beat me to it, lol. :)
Good to know here, too. :D