Pacion
09-23-2004, 09:03 AM
APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:______________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date: _______________
Time of departure: ___________ Time of return: ______________ NOT to exceed: ________________
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
locations stated below, at the stated times.
I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not
even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing
below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume
above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND
calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand
that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife
retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid
reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
Beer: _______ Wine: _______ Liquor: _______ Total: _______
Locations to be visited:
Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
Females with whom conversation is permitted: ____________________________
IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact
permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred
(100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause
shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our
relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules &
regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in
chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit
cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an
unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time.
On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I
conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I
promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will
refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and
attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none
compared to my BETTER half), the above information is
correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ________________________________
__________________________________________________ _______________________________
[OFFICIAL USE ONLY: To be completed by the Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife
Request is: APPROVED _______ DENIED ________
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below (along the dotted line) and carry at all times.
.................................................. .................................................. ...........................................
OFFICIAL USE ONLY: To be completed by the Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date: _____________ Time of departure: _____________ Time of return: _____________
Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: __________________________
:twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol:
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:______________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date: _______________
Time of departure: ___________ Time of return: ______________ NOT to exceed: ________________
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
locations stated below, at the stated times.
I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not
even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing
below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume
above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND
calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand
that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife
retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid
reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
Beer: _______ Wine: _______ Liquor: _______ Total: _______
Locations to be visited:
Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
Females with whom conversation is permitted: ____________________________
IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact
permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred
(100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause
shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our
relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules &
regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in
chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit
cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an
unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time.
On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I
conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I
promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will
refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and
attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none
compared to my BETTER half), the above information is
correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ________________________________
__________________________________________________ _______________________________
[OFFICIAL USE ONLY: To be completed by the Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife
Request is: APPROVED _______ DENIED ________
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below (along the dotted line) and carry at all times.
.................................................. .................................................. ...........................................
OFFICIAL USE ONLY: To be completed by the Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date: _____________ Time of departure: _____________ Time of return: _____________
Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: __________________________
:twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: