Getting out of your head and intouch with your heart

[Pacion]

If someone said to you - I am too analytical and want to get intouch with my heart/emotions - what would you suggest they do?

When I read this, I thought of the scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere's character walked bare footed on the grass and his reaction was like "Wow! This is nice!". I thought getting in touch with "earth" is a good way to get intouch with your heart/emotions.

What would you suggest? (Taking up dancing is not an option :wink: )

[Sagitta]

Bah!! humbug! :? :(

Dancing - 'tis all you need.

[motardmom]

Bah!! humbug! :? :(

Dancing - 'tis all you need.

True, Sagitta! :)

Going thru a really traumatic experience usually puts me in touch with my feelings pretty darned quick, but it is not a pleasant way to go....

[peachexploration]

I would say, if they're a water person or near the ocean, go to the beach and just sit alone, reflect and let the ocean spray caress your face. I agree Pacion, nature is always a good start or alternative. Dancing in my area hasn't been the best for me so the "dancing is not an option" idea (unfortunately) works out just fine. :lol:

[Pacion]

Thanks for the support Peach :wink:

What if the person has never danced and always "analyses" things a thousand times before doing anything - how can you encourage them to analyse less and feel more?

[Sagitta]

When a person is "in the moment" they do not "analyze". Pick something/ an activity where this is likely to happen and the person will find it easier to stop analyzing or over analysing...

[Pacion]

What kind of something/activity though Sagitta? If, as they say, they always think with their head and not their heart, it is not going to happen just like that. What happens after the something/activity stops? What is essentially a habit of a life time is not going to suddenly stop :?

Part of this I guess was insired by Ben Stiller's character in Along came Polly. He did not do ANYTHING until he had run the thing through his risk assessor program. :? Polly came along and something in her helped him to step out of that zone he was in. Okay, it was a movie and he fancied her enough to, as he put it, throw up 19 times in 14 days because she was into "ethnic" food and he has a weak stomach and mild irritable bowel syndrome. Oh yeah. He also took private salsa classes so that he could impress/dance with her :lol:

But what if someone does not have their own Polly?

[tacad]

If someone said to you - I am too analytical and want to get intouch with my heart/emotions - what would you suggest they do?

What kind of something/activity though Sagitta? If, as they say, they always think with their head and not their heart, it is not going to happen just like that. What happens after the something/activity stops? What is essentially a habit of a life time is not going to suddenly stop :Confused:

They/I have to not listen to my brain when it is coming up for the solution to whatever the problem may be. In my case the problem is being social. Interacting with other people. I will analyze to death what I did and how it made that person respond and what I should do the next time. Then come up with a plan for the next time which inevitably fails and then I start all over again. I am learning to not listen to that part of my brain. I ignore its commandments. This is very difficult. Instead I do very simple things like just conversing with someone, or smile and try to make eye contact in a dance. Simple things like that all the while my brain is coming up with a plan of attack to achieve nirvana. And eventually my brain gives up, I relax, and my instincts and heart take over. Even then I try to duplicate the experience, what I did, how to do it again, etc.

Bottom line is I don't listen to my brain even though it is yelling at me. I do simple positive things. Smiling and being friendly does not require a great analysis, I can always do that. Nor does it require me to already be in touch with my feelings. I can always smile and be friendly. Then if I am patient my heart will come out on its own.

I am hoping that this will retrain my brain over time, but you are right Pacion, you do not just throw out a lifetime of analyzing. But little by little I am doing better. Hope this helps.

[Pacion]

Thanks for sharing tacad. I enjoying reading other people's perspectives.

Me personally, I am more of the heart and have had to get more into the brain/think before doing things even though in my heart I am jumping about, "bags packed" and ready to go. :lol:

[Sagitta]

Thanks for sharing tacad. I enjoying reading other people's perspectives.

Me personally, I am more of the heart and have had to get more into the brain/think before doing things even though in my heart I am jumping about, "bags packed" and ready to go. :lol:

I'm a heart person too, tempered by a dose of common sense. Got to be careful not to hurt people if you are that way!

[tj]

Thanks for the support Peach :wink:

What if the person has never danced and always "analyses" things a thousand times before doing anything - how can you encourage them to analyse less and feel more?


Uh - how about five shots of tequila!?! :roll: :wink:




On a more serious note: you can't get someone to change. If he's going to change this habit that has taken all of his life to develop, he'll have to decide himself that he doesn't like this attribute of his. Otherwise, he probably thinks it's a good thing that he always analyzes before acting.

[Pacion]

TJ, what if he or she comes to you and says - can you help me?

[pygmalion]

Some people can't help it, like a guy-friend of mine -- someone I've known for eighteen years (OMG! I'm getting old ... er!! :shock: )

Anyway, over-analyzing everything has really paid off for him in some aspects of his life -- the PhD from Stanford, the high-powered career, etc.

So he has generalized that over-analysis to everything else in his life. Unfortunately, in some areas, over-analysis is a liability. Why do you think I'm his friend, not his girlfriend? I like men who take action, at least at some point. LOL.

I think that most people do things either out of habit or because there's an emotional payoff. There's not much an outsider can do to really help, I think. The analyzer has to take it one more step and understand the emotional payoffs of analysis paralysis, and then decide whether they can afford, emotionally, to let the payoffs go. All that is internal work. You can advise, or even watch, but you can't do it. :?

[peachexploration]

Someone says to Jeff, "You know I really don't like the color red on you, white is your color. Jeff says, "Really?, "Is it this shade of red or just red in general? Is it because of this time of day? Maybe I should wear it at night? Do you think I should wear red pants instead of the jacket? Maybe a different shade of red would look good on me if it wore it on a pair of shoes? The other person says, "No, red does not look on you at all!" :? :lol:

My point? Sometimes red is just red. No need to analyze it. :)

I'm one of those analytical feelers. :lol: I know that sounds wierd but I'm forever analyzing how I feel about things so my emotions are always out there. :) One way to help is to ask the person "How does the color red make you feel"? No, not the fact that it's a primary color on the color wheel but what happens to their heart when they actually see the color. What happens when you see the sun, not the fact that it's one big ball of fire but "What happens when I feel the sun shine on my face at sunrise?" What happens to me when that special someone holds my hand?" I know that's quite basic in a sense but the individual has to make a conscious effort to think in "feeling" terms rather than 2 + 2 =4 all the time. In life, things don't always add up. Does that help? :)

[MacMoto]

Bah!! humbug! :? :(

Dancing - 'tis all you need.
I second this. I'm an one of those extremely analytical people who just can't stop thinking too much. Dancing frees me from my overactive brain so I can just go blank, fill myself with music and just "feel".

[Sabor]

i'm actually intrigued that no body mentioned the famous '3 letter word' so far :lol:

[tj]

TJ, what if he or she comes to you and says - can you help me?

Then I'd say that he's decided to change and that it's very likely that you'll be able to help.

I think one possible way would be to go somewhere breath-taking. Seeing nature in all it's grandeur is something that I appreciate and just take it all in, rather than analyze.

[tj]

I would say, if they're a water person or near the ocean, go to the beach and just sit alone, reflect and let the ocean spray caress your face. I agree Pacion, nature is always a good start or alternative. Dancing in my area hasn't been the best for me so the "dancing is not an option" idea (unfortunately) works out just fine. :lol:

Err - oops. Yeah, what she said! (didn't realize someone already said see nature! lol!)

[peachexploration]

i'm actually intrigued that no body mentioned the famous '3 letter word' so far :lol:

What? SOX? As in limey green? :lol: :lol: :lol: