Dancing - too intimate?

[dancin_feet]

We have had a series of "Dancing with the Stars" here over the last couple of months. They had a behind the scene special last night which revealed that just about every star and their partner had been subjected to rumours of having an affair.

Now, we as dancers know that it is all play acting and what happens on the floor stays on the floor, but is it really that difficult for the general public to believe that? Why is it seen that you have to be sexually attracted to someone to be able to dance with them?

I was quite amazed at the attitude of magazines, etc that fuelled (maybe even started) the rumours. It is impossible to dance with someone you dislike. You have to be close, otherwise it just looks wrong. And these stars are putting themselves on the line in an unfamiliar activity all for charity, and the media chooses to treat them this way.

This is something that annoys me. Could it also be why people don't take up dancing, because they are afraid that someone will take it the wrong way?

Your thoughts ............

[DancePoet]

dancin_feet wrote: "We have had a series of "Dancing with the Stars" here over the last couple of months. They had a behind the scene special last night which revealed that just about every star and their partner had been subjected to rumours of having an affair."

This is unfortunate. :(

And wrote: "Now, we as dancers know that it is all play acting and what happens on the floor stays on the floor, but is it really that difficult for the general public to believe that?"

Possibly.

And wrote more: "Why is it seen that you have to be sexually attracted to someone to be able to dance with them?"

As for me, I dance with all types of women. Particularly if I am at my local studio. I do this to encourage the growth of our community of dancers so that more will take lessons and attend the social events. This increases the likelihood I will find dancers I can connect with on the dance floor, whilebuilding a healthy dance crowd, too.

And wrote some more: "I was quite amazed at the attitude of magazines, etc that fuelled (maybe even started) the rumours. It is impossible to dance with someone you dislike. You have to be close, otherwise it just looks wrong. And these stars are putting themselves on the line in an unfamiliar activity all for charity, and the media chooses to treat them this way."

Sometimes the media is looking for a story that sells issues and subscriptions. Unfortunately, rumored affairs can increase the distribution which in turn can increase the ad revenue.

And then wrote: "This is something that annoys me. Could it also be why people don't take up dancing, because they are afraid that someone will take it the wrong way?"

Dancing is continually taken the wrong way. There are many reasons why people dance. Bottom line ... it fills many different needs for those who are open to it and are comfortable with bucking the stereo types.

And I understand your frustration. :)

[dancin_feet]

Sometimes the media is looking for a story that sells issues and subscriptions. Unfortunately, rumored affairs can increase the distribution which in turn can increase the ad revenue.

This is why I don't buy magazines. They are full of rumour and innuendo about famous people who have a right to a private life away from the scrutiny of the media and the public. Just because your job is in front of a camera, doesn't mean that you want to spend your private life the same way.

[tacad]

I had to convince a couple of my friends that it really was ok that I sometimes dance with married women. They thought their husbands would get really irate. Now they just accept that we dancers just live in a different world. Of course there is a bit of cross over. Mostly I'm just enjoying the dance but once in a while it becomes more. Nah, but there is still that line that you have to cross before it becomes more. Once you cross that line the "intimacy" changes one way or the other.

[Sagitta]

What line? :? Perhaps this is my problem?

[tacad]

The line between fantasy and reality. I'm not saying it shouldn't be crossed. But when you do, it changes things. I'm thinking of two examples. The first was at an argentine tango place. I fake AT by the way. One woman and I were dancing very passionately. We were both getting heated up big time and were having several dances together. Then yours truly crossed the line and began to stroke her back. All of a sudden she was concerned that her friend was not having a good time and that was that. Another time another dancer and I were getting chummy. Just friendly. But during a dance she started stroking MY back. I can't tell you how fast I was out of there.

We were in this fantasy world and someone did something real that broke the fantasy.

[motardmom]

I think that for most people, dance is a way to pick up chicks (or guys) and once they catch one, they stop dancing. All it ever was for them was a way to mate. So they don't 'get' that for other people it is a form of exercise, or an actual sport, or a form of relaxation, or whatever else it could be. I'm dealing with this with my mom right now. She's all in a panic that I'm going to go have an affair because I go out dancing late into the night w/o my husband. :roll: (Gotta love her, she really is concerned for my well-being...) And hey - it isn't like I haven't had any offers. 8) :wink: But I've just decided it isn't going to happen.

[motardmom]

We were in this fantasy world and someone did something real that broke the fantasy.

Ooooh.... I've been in that situation - recently. Just last Friday I had to "clarify/define" a dance friendship. Sometimes you have to do that, and if you are lucky/careful, you can retain the friendship.

[tacad]

Yeah. In the last example I spoke of we went back to normal very quickly. Which is great because I really consider her a friend and would hate to have us being all weird around each other.

[MacMoto]

And wrote some more: "I was quite amazed at the attitude of magazines, etc that fuelled (maybe even started) the rumours. It is impossible to dance with someone you dislike. You have to be close, otherwise it just looks wrong. And these stars are putting themselves on the line in an unfamiliar activity all for charity, and the media chooses to treat them this way."

Sometimes the media is looking for a story that sells issues and subscriptions. Unfortunately, rumored affairs can increase the distribution which in turn can increase the ad revenue.

Yes, same with actors. When two actors are in romantic roles and there is perceived on-screen chemistry, the media doesn't say "great acting -- true professionals!"; they say "they must be having an affair" whether or not there's any truth in it. It makes for a more interesting story.

I think that for most people, dance is a way to pick up chicks (or guys) and once they catch one, they stop dancing. All it ever was for them was a way to mate. So they don't 'get' that for other people it is a form of exercise, or an actual sport, or a form of relaxation, or whatever else it could be.
Yes I can certainly relate to this. Many non-dancers (especially guys) go dancing to meet the opposite sex. Dancing is a means to an end, not the purpose of going out in itself. The world of dancers is totally alien to these people.

I'm dealing with this with my mom right now. She's all in a panic that I'm going to go have an affair because I go out dancing late into the night w/o my husband. :roll: (Gotta love her, she really is concerned for my well-being...) And hey - it isn't like I haven't had any offers. 8) :wink: But I've just decided it isn't going to happen.
Wow, this sounds all too familiar. When I started going out dancing on weekends instead of going to classes, my ex (husband at the time)'s family decided I must be having an affair. This sort of noise puts extra strain on your relationship with non-dancing SO... Don't let it get to you, or your husband.

[Flat Shoes]

Dance involves more intimacy with the oppsite sex than most other social arenas. The closeness and physical contact, and sometimes the flirting on the floor, goes well past what would be acceptable off the floor.

It's not strange that some non-dancer will find this a bit strange. And even though it's socially axceptable behaviour on the floor, it can't be denied that it can lead to more feelings.

As a beginner, I was thinking a bit about this myself. I asked myself the question, if this is not about sex, why am I dancing with women instead of other men? The answer is of course that it's about sexuality, not sex. And there is a difference.

Normally when dancing and flirting you play with sexuality, but do not involve sex. And if a person, a dancer or an onlooker, cannot see this difference and draw the line between, he/she might have a problem interpreting what's going on.

And when it comes to media, they're not only news reporters. They're news manufacturers. The best of them reports news from an 'interesting' angle. The worst just makes things up.

[squirrel]

I sometimes am attracted by my dance partners... I had 2-3 relationships that started on the dance floor... but I never stopped dancing... relationships appeared because I only go out in a dancing environment, and this is where I meet people... then, if we want to, we go for a drink and start something/or not... :)

[Sabor]

'Dancing too intimate"...?? u mean there's another way!?

[lil.riceboi]

I would like to add that this not only happens to celebs, but it also happens to regular people. A few weeks ago, we had a dance at my school, however, after the dance, many rumours were circulating about who danced with who and if they liked the partner, almost all of them was just BS. I really wished this would stop...

[Vin]

This sort of rumor mongering was the driving force that drove me and a dancing friend apart. We danced very well together and people started talking, in order to demonstrate how wrong they were she would act horribly to me in front of others.
When I confronted her about it she admitted it, our friendship was never the same though and a few months later we had a falling out and haven't spoken since.

[motardmom]

This sort of rumor mongering was the driving force that drove me and a dancing friend apart. We danced very well together and people started talking, in order to demonstrate how wrong they were she would act horribly to me in front of others.
When I confronted her about it she admitted it, our friendship was never the same though and a few months later we had a falling out and haven't spoken since.

That's so sad that she handled it that way. I can understand wanting people to think well of you (herself) but is it worth sacrificing a friendship? *cringe*

I guess I'm more of a "let them say what they will" kind of girl. I actually get an evil pleasure out of knowing that people are totally wrong when I hear stuff like that. LOL :twisted: One of my partners was asked a while back if I was his girlfriend and he said yes. The look on the guys faces was... priceless. I thought that was the funniest thing that happened all night long. (Luckily, my dh has the same sick sense of humor I do, so even if it got back to him - which I'm pretty sure it wouldn't - he'd :twisted: :lol: too.)

[squirrel]

:) I ignore gossip ... some people can be mean, but I do not pay attention to their stupidities (which could prove harmful in the long run... ). I don't want to busy myself with rubbish!

My best friends are mostly guys! I prefer talking to them and going out with them! And I don't care if a jealous bitch or a jealous bastard talks about my sleeping with them! If asked, I always say "yes, do you want me to give you the list of all I sleep with?"

:)

[Flat Shoes]

.... I always say "yes, do you want me to give you the list of all I sleep with?"

:)

Out of perverted curiosity, I would jump at the opportunity and say "Yes please, can I have that?!" :twisted:

[Sabor]

.... I always say "yes, do you want me to give you the list of all I sleep with?"

:)

Out of perverted curiosity, I would jump at the opportunity and say "Yes please, can I have that?!" :twisted:

after u get it .. fax it to me :mrgreen:

[Flat Shoes]

.... I always say "yes, do you want me to give you the list of all I sleep with?"

:)

Out of perverted curiosity, I would jump at the opportunity and say "Yes please, can I have that?!" :twisted:

after u get it .. fax it to me :mrgreen:
Maybe I will! :cheers:

[squirrel]

I'd answer: "sure, I am sleeping with him, him, him... "etc. depending on who they think I sleep with! And I would add "sometimes with 2 or 3 of them at a time!"

[Flat Shoes]

Then I would, hypothetically, say: Cool! Another friend of mine does the same too! But how those two guys could agree on sharing you, that's beyond me! 8)

[squirrel]

I am glad for your friend, she's a smart lady! Maybe you wanna tread in her footsteps too!

The guys agreed to sharing cannot have enough of me and know I can belong to any of them entirely!

(This would of course be my answer!)

[Flat Shoes]

Absolutely. Since I'm not religious, and my ethics are based on caring about other people and showing respect, for me there's nothing immoral about doing whatever you want with your sexlife, as long as you take care not hurting people or exposing them to diseases.

Following that kind of ethics would tend to result in serial monogamy.

"Is it okay if I sleep with her too?", is not a question coming easy when you aim not to hurt people. :wink:

But now I think we're off topic, brought there by my perverted mind. :twisted:

[Sagitta]

I think this topic was about dancing and intimacy, and not the bedroom kind. The difference between what non-dancers think, vs dancers. How even dancers tend to get into the same trap of creating imagined relationships between people who dance with connection, and perhaps may dance together a lot because of this. Has happened to me. :oops:

[squirrel]

We're back on topic now! Thanks to Sagitta!