Family Support for Dancing

[pygmalion]

Here's a touchy one, that I've been wondering about lately. How much does the support of family or frineds influence people's dance hobbies/careers?

My family has been about as supportive of my dancing as is possible. They think I'm an awesome dancer (naive people! :lol: ), they attend my performances, they ask questions and encourage me, and they want me to succeed. My former s.o., totally opposite story. He didn't support my dancing at all. Oddly enough, both reactions spurred me on to continue dancing. The support, because everybody needs support, the lack of support, because it made me mad enough to want to succeed. How about you?


Question: How has your family's support of your dancing, or lack thereof, influenced you?

[Swing Kitten]

My family's support has not directly influenced my dancing. They are supportive, they haven't disowned me, and they see it as beneficial for me but wouldn't encourage me to make it a priority. I guess they see it as something I like to do so they're pretty possitive about it.

It's funny... I learned to dance after moving out of the house so when I came back this summer was the first time they had to deal with the occasional "Actually, I was hoping to go dancing tonight" response and on most nights when I got home Mom wanted to hear all about it. How many dances I danced, how many times I was asked to dance, who I danced with... and she wanted names!!! lol she's a funny lady!

[MissAlyssa]

My parents are convinced I will never make a living out of teaching dancing. They are always nagging me to go back to college for a "back up plan" because "I can't dance forever"....watch me..

[DanceMentor]

I've been daning for 11 years and I think my Mother has only seen me dance once about 10 years ago. I would feel kind of weird now dancing in front of her. I think one of the reasons I took up dancing in the first place was because I was seeking a means to express myself. I think maybe I have a little "baggage".

[pygmalion]

I know what you mean about baggage. When I was born, most of my siblings were already grown, or close. So when they had parties at the house, I was always there, hanging around on the edges, dancing my little three-year-old heart out with total abandon. That is, until I realized they were laughing at me. Kindly, because they thought I was cute, but laughing nonetheless. Then I stopped dancing. It took until I was an adult for me to realize that I should just dance, if I wanted to dance. Now, of course, the story has changed, and they're all very proud of me. But it took quite a while for me to get over that childhood baggage.

[pygmalion]

Does anyone else have stories, good or bad, about their family/friends/spouses' support for their dancing?

[squirrel]

How did your parents react when you started dancing? Mine were against! Waiste of time, they called it! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[KevinL]

My parents weren't particularly aware when I started dancing. I was divorced and living three states away. They are barely even aware that I'm a teacher, although they certainly know that I dance, and that I teach.

[Sagitta]

Well when I started talking passionately about latin dancing my parents did get a little perturbed. :wink: :)

[Purr]

About my mother's only interest in my dancing is how much money I spend. When I started dancing, she brought up that a friend & his wife had taken thousands of dollars in dance lesson from a franchise studio, and he only learned to do the two-step and a little waltz. And, she makes comments now and again about expenses. So, I just don't tell her how much lessons or other studio activities cost, and, especially, how much a competition cost. Keep in mind that I'm 38, gainfully employed, I have a mortgage (and I'm ahead on payments), and my car is paid for.

Other than that she doesn't show a lot of interest...except, when I've come back from a competition and brought pictures. Then she wants to tell her friends the results and show the pictures around. :roll:

[Vince A]

100% encouragement!!!

My Mom was the NY State Jitterbug champion two years in a row, so she totally encouraged me. We danced often, but not enough!

It's wonder that I didn't turn dancing into a career.

[pygmalion]

My Mom and Dad are very, very proud of me. 8)

[Sakura]

:lol: :lol: They're still reacting to it!

It's been a struggle though. I don't think they thought I was going to stick with it, mum's not happy with the expenses (even though they only buy me 1 lesson a month), and my mother *especially* is not very happy with me as her (only) daughter doing Latin dances... (I think it's the hip motion.... :lol: And the fact that Latin dances are in and of themselves very sexy, sensual dances. Although most of them are playfully fun, there's still that little sensual bit in all of them, and mum's not to pleased with it... She thinks I'm too young to be doing some of them.) Of course, the interesting thing about my mum is that she did tap and ballet when she was younger... Totally different styles, I know, but it's still dance, so you'd think she'd be a bit happier for me... *shrugs*

Dad's been on my side for most of it though! Which I'm happy for. 'Cause he jokes with me about things like the Latin hip motion and stuff, so he's sorta adapting to it in his own way. Which is cool... Until he and my mother start making fun of my (cute) dance teacher and me... Dad keeps reminding me to remember where the "scapula" is, as opposed to the opposite side... ...And to make sure that my techer knows it as well! :oops: :x :oops:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Pacion]

there's still that little sensual bit in all of them, and mum's not to pleased with it... She thinks I'm too young to be doing some of them.)

:shock: :shock: :shock: Okay, hold up a second. Does anyone, who is old enough to remember :lol: the video for the song "lambada", remember it? Sakura, if your mum thinks you are too young to be dancing the 'latin dances' she will lock you in your room if she ever saw the lambada/the video :lol: The interesting thing is that there were some really young dancers on the video (9/10 years old, if so much?). To me, if I had to rank them in terms of hip action I would place the lambada WAY above what you would be doing in the rumba, cha cha or the Dancesport version of samba :lol:

[Genesius Redux]

Heck, Pacion, I'd lock Sakura up before I let her do lambada! The ballroom Latin and Rhythm dances are pretty darn tame....

[Sakura]

there's still that little sensual bit in all of them, and mum's not to pleased with it... She thinks I'm too young to be doing some of them.)

:shock: :shock: :shock: Okay, hold up a second. Does anyone, who is old enough to remember :lol: the video for the song "lambada", remember it? Sakura, if your mum thinks you are too young to be dancing the 'latin dances' she will lock you in your room if she ever saw the lambada/the video :lol: The interesting thing is that there were some really young dancers on the video (9/10 years old, if so much?). To me, if I had to rank them in terms of hip action I would place the lambada WAY above what you would be doing in the rumba, cha cha or the Dancesport version of samba :lol:

Heck, Pacion, I'd lock Sakura up before I let her do lambada! The ballroom Latin and Rhythm dances are pretty darn tame....

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Somehow, I get the feeling that if you all met my teacher, then I'd NEVER dance again! (He's probably the reason why she doesn't want me doing Latin hip motion!! :lol: :lol: I *KNOW* he's the reason why Dad keeps reminding me to remember where my scapula is! :x :) ) :lol: :wink: It's great to be loved by you guys; just don't threaten to lock me up! :lol: 8) *breaks out a fan and fake sighs* I couldn't *stand* to be locked up and not dance! *bats the eyelashes for effect: :roll:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Nammerz]

I haven't told my parents yet and I've been taking lessons for over 2 years. I just know that they'll say I'm just wasting money and I don't need to deal with any hassle from them. But it makes me happy and that's all that matters.

[Sagitta]

Well put a bachata on and dance with me. Then we'll see how close lambada comes to bachata. A little bit sensual!! :shock: Street latin can easily be very sensual, flirty, romatic. For instance, I tell people whom I dance merengue with this is a flirting dance, look at me, see how I come close and move away. See how we look at eaah other, I spin you so we cannot see each other for a moment and then again we see each other...the transformation is striking. Rhumba...I tend to do international style for LA or slot style dancers, and American style for cuban/circular dancing. Oh man. Then there is cha cha, and of course salsa....

I agree that ballroom latin is a lot tamer then street latin. :wink: :)

[Hank]

My parents have seen me dance on video, but never in person. They have only two reactions: 1) they are mortified by the costumes the women wear at competitions (the shameless hussies); and 2) they can't understand why, after over 15 years of dancing, I still take lessons every week. "Haven't you learned how to dance, yet?"

[ShyDancer]

My Parents are happy whenever I am :lol: :lol: :lol:

They have 2 dancers in the family and they are proud of us both, they will see us dance "properly" (ie- not practicing) tomorrow night :D

[pygmalion]

Good luck on the exhibition. 8) Yes. It's good to have supportive family. Quite a blessing. :D

[squirrel]

good luck, shy dancer!

[MacMoto]

I don't get a chance to see my parents very often. They weren't surprised when I told them that I'd taken up salsa dancing, but when I saw them earlier this year, they did seem rather taken aback by the extent of my enthusiasm ("are you going dancing tonight again?") :lol:

[salsachinita]

Ok, here is my story which I have not yet shared with my DF family.

Unfortunately for me, the lambada video clip pacion mention, was huge (TV coverage every 5 mins) around the time I started salsa (in fact, my salsa classes started to promote the lambada night :shock: )!

I had just started university, in the city. I have some free time on some days, so initially my parents just assumed that I was at uni. Then I had to tell them (all the while stressing that the lessons were free) because I needed to practise during the week with my partner (who was a ballroom wiz kid) for the competition.

When the whole deal (partnership et al) fell through, I started going social dancing (where I met my salsa mentor/ex) & going to group lessons with the Fabio Robles, the guy who brought "Street Latin" into the limelight in Melbourne.

My parents were not happy at all with all these, especially with the late clubbing hours. Expenses were just part of their excuse.........because of the lambada fame, the "Street Latin" appears too sexy, therefore improper, to my otherwise really cool parents ("........why couldn't you have picked ballet or ballroom instead?..........What are we gonna tell our friends/relatives?").

Then things got from bad to worse, as my dancing improved & I got more involved in the Latino community. I nearly got myself kicked out of home, got grounded, and finally, got ordered by Mum that if I was going to keep those hours, I had to get a boyfriend :shock: (ie. someone to keep an eye on me while I was out so I didn't turn into a bad girl :roll: ); which turned out to be a really bad idea, but it did save my dance life & kept my parents reasonably tolerant somehow.

They never even shown much interest in my progress. I think Mum only came to one student show, the very first one I did with El Washing Machine. Only because I made a big fuss about how important it was for me......I think she took 4 pictures & just couldn't wait to get out of there :roll: !

Fifteen years on, they are still not 100% supportive. When the Cuban show "Lady Salsa" was in town, I got them some tickets.......they were polite enough to go, but I still don't know what they truly think of it :? .

This is probably why I put in so much effort into my dancing........apart from my life-long passion for salsa as a lifestyle, could it be a deep yearning to win acceptance/approval (from the world) if I cannot get it from my parents......?

Boy, am I getting philosophical.......nah, change the music :P , going dancing now!

[Sakura]

Well put a bachata on and dance with me.

The lines are formin'! 8) :wink:

This is probably why I put in so much effort into my dancing........apart from my life-long passion for salsa as a lifestyle, could it be a deep yearning to win acceptance/approval (from the world) if I cannot get it from my parents......?

Boy, am I getting philosophical.......nah, change the music :P , going dancing now!

Hmm... That's actually not so far-fetched to me... :D Have fun dancing! :D

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Chris Stratton]

I was showing (standard) comp video to appreciating relatives the other night, when my mom (who went along to a comp this spring) decided to share her view on latin costumes...

[pygmalion]

LOL! I can only guess what she might have said, if she's anything like my Mom. :shock: :argue:

[Sakura]

I was showing (standard) comp video to appreciating relatives the other night, when my mom (who went along to a comp this spring) decided to share her view on latin costumes...

:x Ooh... I share Pygmalion's view on this! You came out of it okay though, right? :)

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Sarah]

Oh, my mum's used to such things. She hasn't looked startled about any of my extracurricular activities since I explained to her what Iaido is.... :D

Cheers
Sarah

[pygmalion]

Hi, Sarah! :D

[Jmatthew]

My father was completely indifferent.

My step-mother freaked out and wanted my dad to bitch me out and made my life hell for a few months over it, but she does that over any non-work related activity that takes more than 15 minutes of time out of your day, so it wasn't much of a suprise.

My mother thinks its the neatest, cutest thing ever. I'm not sure how much I like that either, but it's better than the constant crap my step-mom gave me. :)

And Sakura, you're too cute for words. ;)

[Sagitta]

Oh, my mum's used to such things. She hasn't looked startled about any of my extracurricular activities since I explained to her what Iaido is.... :D

Cheers
Sarah

Japanese swordmanship. Hah!! That is not as provocative as dancing. I'm telling you I was doing hip rolls with the ladies yesterday night in salsa and merengue and excited them no end. :roll: :) So now veils, combs, hip rolls...got to get in some more of those body shakey moves in. :wink:

[Sakura]

Iaido!?!?!? No way!!!!! You're so lucky! ...We don't have any Iaido schools around here! *pouts* Ne, Iaido is the swordstyle of attacking an enemy that has snuck up on you in a series of moves (a minimum number, right?) that eventually leads to the sword being returned to its sheath, correct?

:D :twisted: :D I like swords and watch the History channel waaaaaaaay too much, I'm thinking... =^__^=;; (Too bad my parents would *never* let me order swords, much less take a class while I'm in their house... :cry: Ah, well... I'll learn someday! :D I always thought Iaido was really cool... Lots of control needed though. Sounds like a good challenge.)

JM: Mouuuu?? *blinks* How am I too cute for words?? 8) (But I don't mind taking the compliment anyway... =^_~=)

*waves little flags Python style* Yay, hip rolls! :wink: 8) I take it you're having lots of fun aren't you Sagitta? :lol: 8)

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Sagitta]

*waves little flags Python style* Yay, hip rolls! :wink: 8) I take it you're having lots of fun aren't you Sagitta? :lol: 8)

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

Hmm, maybe too much fun? I think one of these days salseras will think my dancing a little too spicy. :)

[Sakura]

*waves little flags Python style* Yay, hip rolls! :wink: 8) I take it you're having lots of fun aren't you Sagitta? :lol: 8)

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

Hmm, maybe too much fun? I think one of these days salseras will think my dancing a little too spicy. :)

Well, then you'll have to find Salseras who like spicy things, ne? :D 8) If that fails, I'm sure you could put up a dance on Ebay or something... :roll: Makes for an interesting thought... *muses* :wink:

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[dancin_feet]

My parents actually were the ones that started me with dancing, because I was only 9 at the time. To this day I have not heard my mother (dad died when I was 16 and not dancing anymore) tell me what she thinks other than commenting on the fact that I am happier now that I have started again. She helps with costumes, and while other people comment (usually negatively) on the skimpy costumes that dancers usually wear, she tells them that if that is what I want, she'll help me make it.

I was a bit annoyed when she wouldn't come to see my big performance night, but it was quite expensive and she is on an old age pension and can't afford much. So I thought OK, not a big problem. When I showed her the video of it, she watched in absolute silence, no facial expression, nothing. I was a bit disappointed, but have gotten to the point that I am happy with what I am doing and while I would prefer that she was enthusiastic about what I am passionate about, I no longer feel rejected because she isn't.

I was quite surprised when she told me two days before she was to leave on a trip to see some relatives, that she wanted to buy a copy from the studio so that she could show me off to the relatives. :o So I took that to mean that she is very proud, just unable to express it.

[Sarah]

Iaido!?!?!? No way!!!!! You're so lucky! ...We don't have any Iaido schools around here! *pouts* Ne, Iaido is the swordstyle of attacking an enemy that has snuck up on you in a series of moves (a minimum number, right?) that eventually leads to the sword being returned to its sheath, correct?

Pretty much right. Usually translated as the art of sword drawing. The kata do tend to be short and :) sharp.

:D :twisted: :D I like swords and watch the History channel waaaaaaaay too much, I'm thinking... =^__^=;; (Too bad my parents would *never* let me order swords, much less take a class while I'm in their house... :cry: Ah, well... I'll learn someday! :D I always thought Iaido was really cool... Lots of control needed though. Sounds like a good challenge.)
Oh there are schools out there.... I didn't start until after I left home though. The school loaned me a better iaito (practice sword) than any I could afford.

Cheers
Sarah <Waves 'Hi Pyg'>

[Sakura]

I was quite surprised when she told me two days before she was to leave on a trip to see some relatives, that she wanted to buy a copy from the studio so that she could show me off to the relatives. :o So I took that to mean that she is very proud, just unable to express it.

:? :oops: :? I'm sorry to hear about your father d_f! It's nice that your mum helps you out with your costumes and whatnot though, right?

:) Her asking about getting a copy of the tape brought a smile to my face though. =^__^= That's nice.

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Sakura]

Iaido!?!?!? No way!!!!! You're so lucky! ...We don't have any Iaido schools around here! *pouts* Ne, Iaido is the swordstyle of attacking an enemy that has snuck up on you in a series of moves (a minimum number, right?) that eventually leads to the sword being returned to its sheath, correct?


Pretty much right. Usually translated as the art of sword drawing. The kata do tend to be short and :) sharp.

I have no problem with short and sharp... :twisted: :wink:

Oh there are schools out there.... I didn't start until after I left home though. The school loaned me a better iaito (practice sword) than any I could afford.

:lol: That's always funny, isn't it? When the school lends you something better than you could get on your own? :)

I can't wait to find a school -- but I searched around the internet -- there don't seem to be any around here in IN. Might be one or two, but they're *WAAAAAY* far away from me.

Thanks for the info Sarah! :D

Sakura Kitty :kitty:

[Sagitta]

My parents actually were the ones that started me with dancing, because I was only 9 at the time. To this day I have not heard my mother (dad died when I was 16 and not dancing anymore) tell me what she thinks other than commenting on the fact that I am happier now that I have started again. She helps with costumes, and while other people comment (usually negatively) on the skimpy costumes that dancers usually wear, she tells them that if that is what I want, she'll help me make it.

I was a bit annoyed when she wouldn't come to see my big performance night, but it was quite expensive and she is on an old age pension and can't afford much. So I thought OK, not a big problem. When I showed her the video of it, she watched in absolute silence, no facial expression, nothing. I was a bit disappointed, but have gotten to the point that I am happy with what I am doing and while I would prefer that she was enthusiastic about what I am passionate about, I no longer feel rejected because she isn't.

I was quite surprised when she told me two days before she was to leave on a trip to see some relatives, that she wanted to buy a copy from the studio so that she could show me off to the relatives. :o So I took that to mean that she is very proud, just unable to express it.

Very right d_f. There are some people who find it hard to express their emotions, for one reason or another. It is tough when that happens as we don't get the feedback that we desire. For instance, my dad is old school, not very expressive, doesn't say much, especially when contratsed with Mae. As a young kid I used to wonder about him. As I grew up I saw that he expressed his love in other ways. He would almost always give us anything we wanted and sacrifice things he wanted for himself, he really likes talking about his kids and all they have done....And now as Pae has become older it is starting to show it more and more. :)

[dancin_feet]

:? :oops: :? I'm sorry to hear about your father d_f! It's nice that your mum helps you out with your costumes and whatnot though, right?

:) Her asking about getting a copy of the tape brought a smile to my face though. =^__^= That's nice.

Mum has always helped with my costumes, even as a kid. I know that is one part of my dancing that I can always ask her for help, even if it is like pulling teeth at times!!

I am due to pick her up from the train station this weekend when she comes home from her trip. I believe she has showed anyone and everyone the video so it should be interesting to get the feedback. She'll normally express her own thoughts, but say it was from someone else, so I'll find out that way!

[ShyDancer]

good luck, shy dancer!

Thank You :D

I was very nervous actually and I made a bit of a mistake in my cha cha routine, thankfully I managed to save myself with some improvisation and no one but my teacher noticed!
Then he decided to have some fun with me halfway through my Mambo routine and lead me into other moves :lol: :lol: It was a lot of fun though, and it really helped my nerves, by the time my 3rd dance came around I was itching to get out there again!
My sister did well too and we have inspired our Mother to come and take a standard class!

[squirrel]

:) I'm glad to hear you did all right, Shy Dancer! Way to go!

[Sarah]

I can't wait to find a school -- but I searched around the internet -- there don't seem to be any around here in IN. Might be one or two, but they're *WAAAAAY* far away from me.


Yeah - it's not what you'd call a mainstream art, and teachers may not advertise widely - you could try asking at martial arts supply shops, or may be ask at aikido dojos - the arts are loosely related and the people involved will often know (of) each other. Good luck!

Cheers
Sarah

[PunkDancer]

Sorry but I thought I would bring this topic back, Just so I could share my story with you.
My family doesn't support my dancing, they think its stupid that I am taking classes. They don't relly even know what I do. They have never seen me dance. They don't even know how good I am. I don't even bother to tell them any thing because they always have something negative to say. They think I am going to be a screw-up in life. But thats ok. I'll prove them wrong... They never support any thing I do. ....Actually now that I think abot it -no one has been real supportive, I have been dancing with nobodys' support. Other then fellow dance mates. :cry:

but I am still going to dance I just at least want them to see what I can do.

[Waltz Lover]

In general, my parents approve, because 'ballroom dancing' has such a positive, higher-class sound to it. But then mom (real old-fashioned) saw me practising cuban motion in the kitchen - her face was comical! I don't think she actually approves of the hip wiggle.

If I ask dad, he says it looks stupid for the woman's head to be so far to the left in smooth (which is my favorite category *shrug* oh well).

My sister does a lot of free-style dance for her church and fully supports me. She is much older and its great now we talk about dance together. Even though hers tends to be more ballet-oriented, body positioning, balance, and so much more are in common.

My friends are the best - showing up at a showcase as a surprise to watch me!

All in all, I do it for myself - the pure enjoyment of blending body movement to music and sharing that with a partner.

[Sagitta]

My parents sometimes worry that I am neglecting the other areas of my life. I don't have anyone who really is against me dancing, talks about it in a disparaging manner, or puts it down. I guess I'm luck that my entire family (blood and social, including non-dancing) always has been supportive of me.

[Katarzyna]

I know how it feels when everyone in your family thinks your dancing is a waste of time... :( :(

I had only one person who was extremaly supportive, and pretty much if it wasn't for him, I would have never started, nor continued..

[DancingMommy]

I started ballroom dancing as a rebound thing. ;)

My parents thought it was a phase that I was going through and that I'd "give up on that just like everything else". HA HA HA

Now, so many years later, they are happy that I've found a hobby I love and a good husband, to boot, lol! 8) And it never wouldn't have happened if it weren't for ballroom dancing.

[Vin]

After seeing me dance at christmas my parents asked me if I have been studying math or salsa the last few years.
For me it has ceased to become an issue, I live far enough away from my parents that they don't try and influence my day-to day life anymore. I actually could not imagine having parents that really tried to exert influence on me and my spare time. As long as I am not doing anything unhealthy or dangerous they are fine.
Actually when I come home they don't want me going to the salsa clubs by myself because there "is alot of drugs in the scene". Oh well.

[PunkDancer]

All in all, I do it for myself - the pure enjoyment of blending body movement to music and sharing that with a partner.

I basically do it for myself also - Its an escape for me.
I don't live with any family - just people that I consider family...which has been more supportive then my real siblings. I moved out at age 15(two days after I turned). and have been doing great. I'll be going to 4 year university and I am going to start looking in to The Edge Performing Arts Center in Los Angeles. But I still see my family alot. I have a lot of things going on in my life and with out dance I'd be lost!!! Its what helps me get through the day, theres no worries, no depression, no drama. Its like a dream and feels so surreal to me. I dance when ever I need to escape reality.

[salsachinita]

I think this thread might be relevant: http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=4082&highlight=parents

Incidentally, I watched 'Honey' on DVD last night at a friend's place (instead of going dancing), and just wished that I had the parental support she had in the story.

[salsachinita]

I had a conversation with my dad yesterday which really upsets me :cry: .

"Where do you think your dancing in gonna take you?" he asked,

".....say, you've become the best dancer out there. So what? What can you do with that?"

All I ever wanted was to dance.....and if I was ever in something major, I would like my parents to actually be there because they want to, not because I asked them :roll: .

[Sagitta]

I had a conversation with my dad yesterday which really upsets me :cry: .

"Where do you think your dancing in gonna take you?" he asked,

".....say, you've become the best dancer out there. So what? What can you do with that?"

All I ever wanted was to dance.....and if I was ever in something major, I would like my parents to actually be there because they want to, not because I asked them :roll: .

My heart goes out to you SC. :friend: Tough when parents don't support you when what you would like is their support, their unconditional understanding. The understanding that all parents should give to their children: that love of a father for his daughter, a mother for her son. At one point in time I felt this need to be something they would be proud of, even though they didn't ask me! :roll: Now I know that is not necessary, for me.

There is a saying: "The most difficult thing about life is living with oneself." Very true in many respects. For me the answer to the question would be: Where the heart and where the soul is, that's where! Where living life to the fullest is all about. There are too many miserable people in the world. People who do things because they should, or to feel materially secure, or....I want to experience the world in all it's glory and all it's misery - the joy, the people, the activities. We are but here an instant in the vast scheme of things. Ants making long journeys, which we sometimes are fortunate to share with others part of the way: family, friends, marriage mates...dfers :wink:

[pygmalion]

How was the movie? I haven't gotten around to seeing it, but, if it's good, I can buy it pay-per-view. No plans for tonight... yet. :roll: :lol:

[PunkDancer]

Yeah that movie was ok I guess. Even though her mother wanted her to do ballet more then hiphop, But at least her mother aproved of her dancing.

[salsachinita]

How was the movie?

I liked it. Movies like that are never known for great acting or plot; but I think it's a really sweet movie (or an extended video clip :wink: ).

Some great dancing, beautiful people & I LOVE her wardrobe....! That girl dress similarly to me.

Anyway, back to topic :oops: . Yep, she has supportive parents, who are proud of her dancing. Mine are still struggling with the idea :roll: . You'd think 15 yrs later I would have earnt it by now, huh *shrug*?

[cocodrilo]

I think my mom & dad(long divorced) get a kick out of seeing me writhe to latin music whenever we are on vacation together. They are aware that I have always been into doing strenuous exercise and like to wear sexy clothes, so when I let them know I was getting into latin dance, this didn't seem to surprise them. :D

[squirrel]

:) I don't know... they don't think it is worth the effort I'm going thorugh... but as long as I'm happy they're happy!

[MacMoto]

I don't have any family support for my dancing.

My SO (now ex), hated my dancing. When he saw me dance, he hated it even more. To this day he believes we would still have been together if it hadn't been for my dancing (he's wrong).

My parents are not as negative about it as he (my mum danced when she was at college), but when I visited them earlier this year (we live in the opposite ends of the world so to speak), they seemed to think I was going out dancing a bit too often for their liking (3 lunchtime classes and 4 nights over 3 weeks didn't seem too much to me... :oops:). They've never seen me dance. I do wonder if that would make any difference one way or the other...

[cocodrilo]

How COULD they, Macmoto? I can't understand. It's not like you were out shooting craps(gambling) or selling your body or anything! GEEZ! Was your former guy(spouse? boyfriend?) so conservative as to not like the idea of you dancing, or was he simply jealous? And your parents- what is it that bothers them about you dancing?

[setsuna713]

My S.O. doesn't know what to do about my dancing yet. He doesn't really have any interest in it, but he really wants to do whatever I do. What we did as a compromise is he picked up a little dancing so we can do it together (begining east/west coast and salsa) and he leaves the ballroom to me. So far it's working well. I'm actually getting him to go to a workshop this weekend with me for a day.

[etchuck]

My cat would just as well prefer I stay at home. She stays away from me while I try practicing on my personal basement floor...

All kidding aside, I think my family was curious about why I would pick up yet another hobby. They've seen me dance hustle at a New Years Eve party a few years ago, and I think they were impressed (not to mention the entire rest of the audience who cleared the floor out when they saw that I dance pretty well). My parents saw me dance ballroom for the first time last May when visiting me; granted, it helped when for a few of my dances my ballroom-dancing clubmate was dancing with me (you'll have to see the pictures of us two dancing on the website to know what I mean by that... and she much prefers standard than Latin [which is my preference]).

My once long-time SO however couldn't dance worth a flip. She'd wrong-foot every WALTZ I'd try to dance with her. Turned out that I would give up dancing until we broke up and (three years later) moved.

[MacMoto]

How COULD they, Macmoto? I can't understand. It's not like you were out shooting craps(gambling) or selling your body or anything! GEEZ! Was your former guy(spouse? boyfriend?) so conservative as to not like the idea of you dancing, or was he simply jealous? And your parents- what is it that bothers them about you dancing?
Cocodrilo, I'm not sure what the problem was with my parents -- especially considering my mum used to dance when she was young. I suppose she felt I was too old to be obssessed about dancing :lol: (when she was my age, she was bringing up teenage children!). They may not be supportive but at least they are not hostile either. Just a bit taken aback. It's not as if I compete or teach dance or anything, it's just a hobby, so they probably didn't understand why a 3 week break should be so hard to take.

As for my ex, see http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=51389#51389

[Sonia in Aalborg]

Hi! Nice dancing tales all of you. I live a 1000 miles away from my folks and they therefore don't have a big role to play as far as my dancing goes. But my mum's very supportive of it and is always enouraging my bf to continue. Don't think my father would appreciate me dancing 3 nights a week though! My bf's parents on the other hand think he's too stiff and will never move, but we're both proving them wrong! :) I think my mother regrets the fact that my dad didn't do any serious dancing and I don't want that to happen to me-it was a big issue bet my bf and me in the beginning coz I started with salsa first and threw myself wholeheartedly into it whereas he's NEVER danced until now and had no clue about rhythm! So, it's a major step for him and he's doing fab! :D

[squirrel]

Good for you, Sonia! I'm happy that your boyfriend can now move!

[tsb]

my family probably didn't care one way or the other until they got to see me as a background dancer on tv a couple of years ago. my nieces watched & said all their friends thought it was cool and they wanted lessons the next time i visited them, and of course mom & dad got to brag to their friends...

[pygmalion]

That's cool. How did you get the background dancer gig? Just curious. A friend of mine who had just started ballroom lessons maybe six months before got a gig by accident. He went to audition for a singing part, and was dancing around backstage while waiting for his turn to sing. They hired him on the spot as a dancer/extra. Pretty cool. :)

[tsb]

no big deal. i know the guy who was hired to do the choreography. my former teachers used be members of his troupe which is how i met him originally. i started dancing at a venue he DJs from time to time & after a while he started referring me one shot teaching gigs and also had me fill in to teach a class or two when he was double booked.

[Two Left Feet]

Interesting topic here!

I started taking dance lessons about 5 months ago with my S.O. She and her friends got some good laughs when we first started because they could not fathom how such a "stiff" guy could dance, especially the Latin dances. It really was a struggle for me during the first couple of lessons when I simply couldn't do the Cuban motion. I could not bend the knee of one leg and have both feet planted on the floor at the same time--the heel of the bent leg would invariably come off the floor and my hips would stay straight as a board. A lot of you probably take this motion for granted, but I basically needed to learn to crawl first before I could walk. As a fairly athletic guy, this was a sobering experience!! I ended up spending a lot of time in front the mirror and limbering up my hips which never moved like that before. So basically I had to put in a lot of effort just to get to a point that is probably "natural" for most people. Now you're probably wondering how this fits little story fits into the current thread. It does, and it's part of my frustration that I am about to share.

Well, we've been introduced now to the basics of Swing, Mambo, Cha Cha, Merengue, Fox Trot, and Samba. I've worked HARD over the last 5 months. While I would still consider myself an unabashed novice, I feel as though I'm starting to "get it". I'm always listening to dance-related music and spend a lot of time visualizing the dance steps when my S.O. aren't practicing. I've even read about the history of the different dances since this stuff is starting to get interesting. Now the kicker. We NEVER spend any time practicing because as the dance steps have progressed and become more difficult, my S.O. isn't having as much fun as when she was fine and I was bumbling across the floor. She therefore makes up different excuses to not practice. It's frustrating!!

Mind you, I'm still a terrible dancer but I can confidently say that I progressed beyond my S.O., which is pathetic given how terrible I was to start. And the humor at my expense has definitely ended. I've spent what feel like countless hours trying to improve myself as a partner dancer, now that the dances are becoming a little more difficult, my S.O. is declaring that it's more fun to just throw her arms up in the air and shake her hips to music in a freestyle form. OK, I'll give her that freestyle has its time and place, but that's not what we're studying! (I secretly suspect that she is uncomfortable with me becoming a "better" dancer so now she just wants to freestyle, which is something that I am currently inept. But I guess this a topic of conversation for a different internet discussion board!!)

So, now we've hit a crossroads where the reluctant partner has shifted from me to her. But the problem for me now is that I am hooked, but I'm obviously not going to get better without a regular dance partner and I'm certainly not going to go out social dancing without the S.O.

Has anyone ever experienced this kind of situation and if so how was it resolved?? I'm afraid I see the writing on the wall and my dancing days are over before they even got started once our paid-for lessons run out. Circumstances dictate that is it simply not possible to continue without my S.O. as a partner. We both "agreed" to take up dancing as a shared hobby, rather than doing our own separate things. So I'm racking my brain here with thoughts of how to keep her motivated and encouraged. Quite honestly, I'm mystified that I'm even in this position.

:?

[pygmalion]

Wow. That's a deep and difficult situation. I'm going to start a separate thread with a new name so that people will notice it and, hopefully, give you some useful replies.

Good luck.

[dancingirldancing]

For some reason my mum is unsupportive with my dancing. She thinks that I should spend more time cleaning house, cooking and making babies instead and I am 'abandoning' my husband.

She also thinks that playing piano ranks much higher up there compared to dancing. God knows.

So I stop to discuss anything dancing with her. Will not take her to competition/showcase ever again too.

Thing is I hate sitting there thumping the wood aka playing the piano.

My DH however could not care less unless if I bug him to do more practice. Actually he couldn't wait until I get a dance partner so I can get off his back :)

Do you have anyone in your life who is against your dancing ?

[star_gazer]

I am a mom and I am insanely supportive of my kids dancing. However, my mother thinks I should stop wasting my money and the kids should hurry up and finish college and get real jobs. And maybe she's right but... :|

[etp777]

I know there are several people on here who's families ddefinitely do not support their dancing. I've got one sister who has no interest in it herself, but still supports me, and rest of immediate family is in studio as much or more than I am, so I'm definitely blessed in this respect.

[Bella]

This was a while ago... I went out to dinner with my parents. I poured my heart out about dance and how much it means to me. I remember my dad looking at me like, "wow, I never knew you felt that strongly about it." A week later, we had discussions about setting up a studio in my home...

[Bella]

So the moral of my story - Sometimes, when they not only see, but hear the depth of your passion and happiness... they'll melt in the palm of your hands. :)

Good luck to you sweetie.

[Peaches]

My parents aren't particularly supportive. I know I've whined about it here on D-F a bit. Like you, I'm married and my husband doesn't mind in the least. It makes me happy, he's happy when I'm happy, I'm an adult and married and on my own...so it's none of their business, when push comes to shove. Like you, I've just stopped talking to them about it, and shut down the conversation (or change topics) if they bring it up. It's sad, but that's life.

[dancingirldancing]

When I was younger and living at home, mum used to make me play the piano but she wont let me do any other dancing than ballet.

I actually lied my way through and managed to work as a commercial dancer for a while when I was a teenager.

She also told me that unless I am world champion there is no point for me to practice that much.

Well, isnt it going the other way around ?

[Lioness]

My mum is supportive, she's the one who got me into it, but isn't really keen on the level that I want to take it to. She's purely a social dancer, dabbling in some low level competitions, but I want to eventually go registered.
She doesn't like driving me around to new studio either, because it's too far away and at night.

[emeralddancer]

Thankfully I have a very supportive husband. Also my teenagers are equally supportive as are my kids friends and my own friends.

However - my mom. different story. She is perpetually negative ... like she came to my first showcase (and only one as far as I am concerned) and instead of saying anything nice, she was like ... finally nice to see you dressed up. Sheesh ... (my dad was like Nancy, if you have nothing nice to say, don't speak at all....how I love my daddy!)

Thank God my husband loves the jeans and t look on me. LOL I have to dress up for work, don't want to in my down time. sigh .........

[lcdancesport]

My parents are supportive when they see I'm happy. They don't like the fact that I went to college for one thing and am now doing a career that is completely unrelated. My mom recently came to a showcase performance, after I invited her time and time again, and realized how much work and time I put into this. She was pretty amazed. At the same time, she realizes I gave up the security, income, and benefits of the job I had before, which led her to believe that I'm not being smart about what I'm doing now.

[cornutt]

My family and friends have been pretty supportive. The worst I get is the occasional mild bemusement: "A dancer? You?" :rolleyes:

[lcdancesport]

Yeah people that I've gone to school with in the past would never have guess I would become a dancer. I was a shy girl back in the day and now that has turned around since I can express myself through dance.

My relatives are interested in what I do with dance, my grandparents question me a lot asking if I'm saving up money for "important" things or emergencies. I think they think I'm going through a phase that I'm having fun while I'm young.

The one good thing that has happened with dance is developing a leaner, more toned body. Growing up my grandparents made comments about my weight that made me uncomfortable. I was never overweight, but I wasn't very active either because I had a desk job, you're average joe. Now that I'm in dancer shape, my grandparents tell me to eat more. lol

[etp777]

The one good thing that has happened with dance is developing a leaner, more toned body. Growing up my grandparents made comments about my weight that made me uncomfortable. I was never overweight, but I wasn't very active either because I had a desk job, you're average joe. Now that I'm in dancer shape, my grandparents tell me to eat more. lol

Can definitely identify with this one, though not quite in dancer shape yet. though I'll vouch for lcdancesport being so. ;)

[tanya_the_dancer]

My parents are kinda supportive but I don't think they really understand what it takes to dance competitively.

[QPO]

My family are proud on my dancing, my mother now does it socially, my daughter can do some of the dances and when her studies reduce is keen to give it ago with her partner. Only know one person who does not tell her mother as she does not dance with her husband but with a work colleague, her mother would not understand (80-ish) according to her.

[Lioness]

Speaking of family support, mum's just come and told me that I'm doing too much, and that I can't do evrything I want to do at the moment. She's basically telling to to put dancing on hold for a few years until I finish school, and just social dance and stay at the level I'm at now. It is not going to happen. She thinks it's just a hobby I guess, but I don't think she quite understands how much I want to improve and be able to dance well. She says, 'you can't be a straight A student, have a job, do archery, do dancing, and do music'

I've been doing it that way for half a year, and the only problem is with my job. I can't drop it because I have to pay for archery and extra dance classes, and soon a car, but it keeps clashing with dance.
I think if I keep up these classes with the extra studio she's not going to be supportive at all.

[Bella]

My parents are kinda supportive but I don't think they really understand what it takes to dance competitively.

That's a very good point to consider. My mom was a serious ballerina in her early teenage years, so she can understand - but only to a point. My parents do not live life on the seat of their dreams like I do. Yet, they are supportive.

This makes me happy, and that makes them happy.

[dancepro]

My parents did social dancing when I first started dancing. They were therefore supportive of my dancing the first many years. When I came and told them that I was going to move to England, my mother was very upset. She asked me what I was going to do about my education. I told her that I could always go back to school even if I was 70 years old before returning to school, but that there was a time limited on the dancing. She agreed that it was probably best for me to get the dancing out of my system and then go back to school.

I didn't get the education that I was intended on, in my young years, but I did get a very similar education some 10 years ago. Today that education is how I make my main income and the dancing is my passion, that I continue to do, because I enjoy it.

Now, my mother has all the DVDs of my dancing and is today happy that I did it that way around namely; dancing first, education second.

Dancepro

[Bella]

That's the one thing my parents really appreciated - education first; taking dancing seriously second. Of course, I beg to differ. ;)

[Bella]

Well, it is the reason how my expenses for dancing is comfortably supported... so I can't complain. :)

[emeralddancer]

I agree with DP and Bella ...

I encourage my kids to find their passion, to follow it and nourish it. Whether they go to college or not, they are young once, find what makes them happy and go from there.

May be backwards thinking for a parent. BUT I want my kids to not wake up at 40 one day and go ..."WHAT DID I DO WITH MT LIFE???"

That is sorta what I am feeling now and why I am seriously grabbing a hold of dance with both hands and holding on for dear life. LOL

[danceronice]

Speaking of family support, mum's just come and told me that I'm doing too much, and that I can't do evrything I want to do at the moment. She's basically telling to to put dancing on hold for a few years until I finish school, and just social dance and stay at the level I'm at now. It is not going to happen. She thinks it's just a hobby I guess, but I don't think she quite understands how much I want to improve and be able to dance well. She says, 'you can't be a straight A student, have a job, do archery, do dancing, and do music'

I've been doing it that way for half a year, and the only problem is with my job. I can't drop it because I have to pay for archery and extra dance classes, and soon a car, but it keeps clashing with dance.
I think if I keep up these classes with the extra studio she's not going to be supportive at all.

Uh, well...

Have you considered quitting archery (?) and music? Is the car necessary? If dance is what you want to do, but you are doing too much with a job and archery and music and dance, then maybe something DOES have to go. Are the other two as important? Because you really cannot "do it all" without eventually burning out and/or running out of money.

[tanya_the_dancer]

I agree with DP and Bella ...

I encourage my kids to find their passion, to follow it and nourish it. Whether they go to college or not, they are young once, find what makes them happy and go from there.

May be backwards thinking for a parent. BUT I want my kids to not wake up at 40 one day and go ..."WHAT DID I DO WITH MT LIFE???"

That is sorta what I am feeling now and why I am seriously grabbing a hold of dance with both hands and holding on for dear life. LOL

You know, as a parent I am somewhat torn on this issue. I want him to find something he enjoys, but at the same time I want him to become self-supporting and not struggle financially, and if something he enjoys is not very profitable, then what?

My life situation is such that my passion and what I do for a living are not the same thing. And most of the time I'm fine with that. But I wonder sometimes what it would feel like when you're passionate about your job.

[lcdancesport]

You know, as a parent I am somewhat torn on this issue. I want him to find something he enjoys, but at the same time I want him to become self-supporting and not struggle financially, and if something he enjoys is not very profitable, then what?

My life situation is such that my passion and what I do for a living are not the same thing. And most of the time I'm fine with that. But I wonder sometimes what it would feel like when you're passionate about your job.

Mom?? Just kidding. That is pretty much verbatim with my mom. I gave up my secure, comfy job and threw everything into teaching dance instead. It hasn't been the smoothest path, but it is much more enjoyable.

[tanya_the_dancer]

Mom?? Just kidding. That is pretty much verbatim with my mom. I gave up my secure, comfy job and threw everything into teaching dance instead. It hasn't been the smoothest path, but it is much more enjoyable.

:) No, but I guess a lot of parents are alike. I have a teenage son. He is good with computers and I suppose I could sort of steer him in this direction, but I know that in doing so I will be pushing him towards the same path I took years ago, which put me into my current situation when my job is something that pays for my dancing and other bills, and dancing is something I truly enjoy, and would do it full-time if I could afford it. I kinda wish that he finds himself, I guess, but at the same time, I don't want him to stay in my wallet for the rest of my life while he is figuring out what he wants to do.

[nucat78]

Well... my sons think it's a little silly, my daughter thinks it's fine. They all have given me studio gift cards though at one time or another. My parents and brother are deceased, my dog doesn't care.

[lcdancesport]

:) No, but I guess a lot of parents are alike. I have a teenage son. He is good with computers and I suppose I could sort of steer him in this direction, but I know that in doing so I will be pushing him towards the same path I took years ago, which put me into my current situation when my job is something that pays for my dancing and other bills, and dancing is something I truly enjoy, and would do it full-time if I could afford it. I kinda wish that he finds himself, I guess, but at the same time, I don't want him to stay in my wallet for the rest of my life while he is figuring out what he wants to do.

FYI, that is exactly what I went to school for- computers! I just couldn't handle being a drone at a desk all day long. I found I really enjoy working with people face to face. :doh: Live and learn.

[etp777]

This drone peeks in and moves on. :P

[lcdancesport]

Get back to work! :p

[Shyone]

I'm not at the point of having performances yet, but my parents love to watch me dance if they show up early to pick me up (deliberately early... ) after dancing, or if we're out and one of the guys decides 'hey, time to dance!'. They also don't mind helping me pay for it, because it's really helping my fitness.

[Rugby]

Support from parents? Whats that? My mother always wanted me to go into ballet since I am totally built for it, I went into Martial Arts. My mother was into the Scarlett O'Hara dresses etc. so she would have loved the ballroom dresses. I was into horses, track and field, bowling and martial arts so there was no chance of any support. I actually went quite far in these sports but my parents could not care less. If I was into ballroom when my mother was alive I really think it would have been quite different a different story as I would have been into something that interested her.

After my mother died my father and I both got into ballroom dancing but I can't say he was cheering me on, but our family was pretty cold that way and I got to say, I was the same. At my dad's last comp I told him I was proud of him and paid to have his dances filmed as a surprise for him. I'm glad I did because he was killed in an accident not long afterward. I will be eternally grateful that I broke the family coldness and let him know how I felt and supprted him. The look on his face when I gave him the video and told him how proud of him I was made me wonder why I was ever so stupid to not have done it before.

Perhaps that is a lesson. We should stand by each other and cheer each other on no matter what because you never know. Think how bad you would feel if you did not support your family member and something happened to them. You would never be able to be there for them again nor say you were sorry that the support was not given.

[latervet1]

Rugby- so sorry to hear about your dad. such a cool thing that you have the video and that ballroom time to remember.
My mother also passed away before i started dancing. But I know that she would be ecstatic about it (as long as she didnt know how much money i was spending) I have 4 older brothers and only exist because my mother so wanted a little girl. however having 4 older brothers i was of course a complete tomboy and refused to even wear a dress until high school. i spent all my time at the barn wearing baggy clothes with messy hair and never really understood "girly things." I know that the dancing and the ball gowns and even the latin costumes would please my mom to no end.
Due to my previous history the rest of the family just finds it oddly amusing. they all live to far away to come watch me tho.

[Rugby]

I was and probably still am really, a tomboy too. Like you I would rather be around the horses and cows and other animals. My dolls were Janie and Johnnie West with their ranch and horses. Barbie was way too girlie for me. She would not be able to carry her own weight and be a pansy so she was useless.

I have to say that I can still do my own repairs, get up on the roof and put down shingles or whatever else needs to be done. My horse friends can't picture me in a ballroom dress and my dance friends can't picture me as a tomboy, they think I am so divaish . I have had to show pictures to prove it.

Nice to meet another tomboy / dance diva.

[etp777]

Rugby, my bike needs an oil change and I need some tile laid here... ;)

[Rugby]

Not a problem. :)

[latervet1]

I used to do alot of DYI around my house (now i dont have time with the dancing) and very early on my instructor said to me "you are so Home Depot." I told him i wasnt sure what that meant but that I was going to take it as a compliment.
Tiling is technically easy but hard on the knees. It does not mix well with self tanning. all the exfoliating in the world doesnt help the dark knees.