Why are Competitive Partnerships so volatile?

[pygmalion]

I was scouting around for new ballroom topics, so I went to the dancesport UK website. In the first three pages of the current newletter, here's what I found:

After two years Dmitry Ilyushenov and Katia Virshilas , the Canadian Champions, have ended their partnership.

After two and a half years of dancing together Neil Jones & Lorna da Silva, who were this year's Dutch National Latin champions have come to the decision of ending their dancing partnership.

Mario Radinger and Lilia Albrecht who danced for Germany in a highest S Latin Amateur category announced, that they decided to separate "for personal reasons".

The best Czech Amateur Latin couple Jan Kliment and Ewa Szabatin decided to terminate their partnership and both are now looking for new partners.


Yup, four break-ups in only three pages! :shock:

Question: Why are ballroom and other competitive dance partnerships so volatile? What's going on here?

What do you think?

[Vince A]

That's something that I've wondered for a long, long time!

I too, have seen many couples come and go . . . and yes there are still many that are together.

I guess that a dancing relationship, is kinda like your personal relationship. When things go wrong, and we become angry, we DO lash out at the one closest to us. In the personal relationship, that's your spouse or boy/girlfriend. In dance, the partner can be a spouse or a boy/girlfriend and a dance partner as well.

I'm not sure what actually causes them to be angry at each other, I can only assume!

I will not compete with my wife for this very reason. I won't even open the door. We tried it once. We were putting a five-dance routine together, and we would argue constantly, and we don't argue with each other. I'd snap at her, and say things like "you're NOT where I put you." "What are doing?" "What the hell was that move?" and so on . . . and she, althought she is less vocal than I, would say similar things.

A Pro that my wife used to compete with was also practicing on the same floor with his partner. He had heard us. He came over to us and whispered, "When it stops being fun . . . quit!"

We took this to heart. Our dancing together improved, and we never ever, again looked at each other with angry eyes. We only social dance together now. We often get comments as we walk off the floor, because we've learned to play, always smile, and be 100% content with each others dancing on the floor!

I'm not a perfect dancer. Don't want to be, but she thinks I am. That's all that matters.

[dancergal]

Vince, we don't need to compete to snipe at each other. My b/f and I do it all the time. :D :D But when we get too snippy or too mad, I stop and say, this isn't fun anymore and I refuse to dance with you until you stop, smile and make it fun again. I've been known to walk off the dance floor if he makes me mad enough. :evil: I'll even take time out and go dance on the other side of the room with others so I can get a break from him. It happens because we learn, practice and dance together all the time. We are very aware of it and try to keep the snippy comments out, but its bound to happen now and then. We both know it and try really hard to keep it fun because it's what we love.

[Vince A]

Pam,
Poor Wayne :cry:

I used to snip at Care too, especially when I was making up a move on the fly, and she didn't get it. How dare her????

Now, hey, if she didn't get it . . . it was my fault for not leading it correctly! :(

We practice very little together. I'm trying to learn her routine that she does with Robert Campos, but I'm not him, so I can't pull it off as well as he! He's too good! 8)

But there is NO shipping anymore! :D :D

[pygmalion]

You make a good point there, dancergal. All relationships can be volatile. I've been the perpetrator/victim of a couple of those myself. :lol: I was just wondering if there's anything unique about those top-ranked competitive couples -- the stress of competition, the high visibility life style, (possibly) the egos involved, or other things that makes those relationships more vulnerable.

And is there a difference between professional/romantic partnerships and strictly professional partnerships? Hmm.

[dancergal]

Pam,
Poor Wayne :cry:

What do you mean "Poor Wayne??" He's usually the one picking on me!! :D It seems to me that right out of the blue, my b/f tries a move he SAW someone else do and if it throws me, he acts as if I'm the one that missed it! But then if I somehow picked up on it, and followed it, then he takes the credit for a great lead! Can't win. :D :D

[Phil Owl]

I'll hazard a guess even though I have NEVER done competitive dancing or ever will.

In a word, Egos. When you have so much at stake in a competitive dance partnership, the pressure mounts from within and without to "BE THE BEST". I have a dear friend who once danced competitively and she tole me it was in fact VERY cutthroat. If one or both percieves weakness in their partner and feels their standing or reputation in jeopardy, it's only inevitable that the fur will fly.

[Vince A]

Pam,
Poor Wayne :cry:

What do you mean "Poor Wayne??" He's usually the one picking on me!! :D It seems to me that right out of the blue, my b/f tries a move he SAW someone else do and if it throws me, he acts as if I'm the one that missed it! But then if I somehow picked up on it, and followed it, then he takes the credit for a great lead! Can't win. :D :D
That's why, the only time you "let us be in charge," is on the dance floor! :wink:

Carolyn also gets abused on those moves "that I just saw someone do."

But I do not snip at her if I mislead it! HONEST!

[MissAlyssa]

it gets really volitile if the dance partnership is secretly more than just dancing. I've heard that a dance partner is like a spouse.

[pygmalion]

Yeah. That's gotta be quite a balancing act. If the partnership is romantic and well as professional, yikes! :shock: Every disagreement and problem must be amplified.

[MissAlyssa]

I'm also assuming that if the partners are practicing for a comp etc that they are already stressed and one partner can only hear "you're dong it wrong" so many times before they crack :lol: