Jealousy and permission to dance

[MadamSamba]

Hi, again, folks!
This question has stemmed from Pygmalion's question about jealous spouses (http://www.dance-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=1023), but do you or your significant other have to ask your partner's permission before dancing with someone? :roll:

I asked a guy to dance a few months ago and they've said, "sure, but I've got to ask my girlfriend first.'' It's happened several times since then.
Now THAT'S awfully insecure! :) I was quite amazed...the first time, but it seems the norm among some couples...obviously it has to do with the girl's insecurity, but you'd think the guy would stick up for himself.

[will35]

My reply is still in Pygmalion's thread after yours.

[MissAlyssa]

It depends on what point your relationship is at.

[Sarah]

Yuck.
Just yuck. I cannot imagine voluntarily remaining for long in a relationship in which I had to ask someone else for permission to do something with my body. I would of course extend the same consideration to my (hypothetical) s.o. If he couldn't trust me to do my bit in taking care of our relationship then he doesn't know me nearly well enough. :(

Cheers
Sarah

[pygmalion]

I agree, Sarah. In a relationship, there's reasonable cooperation (adult behavior, IMHO) and there's obedience (childlike behavior, IMHO). A good way to destroy long-term chances for relationship's success is to mix up the two! :shock: 8)

[SwinginBoo]

NO WAY! I'm my own person, was my own person before my boyfriend, and will be my own person always.

The whole dance culture is about dancing with other people. Maybe it takes a while for some to understand this.

[dancergal]

In some case people ask my permission if it's ok to ask my b/f to dance, and some guys also ask him if they can dance with me. I think they are just being polite because they know we are a couple. I think it's sweet, but I don't expect them to ask for the other's permission. I've seen it many times with some couples. They don't feel comfortable dancing with others or they have to ask before they can dance. The only time it bothers me is when a woman will hang around us all night and try to dance with my boyfriend every chance she gets. That gets annoying.

[Vince A]

I agree, Sarah. In a relationship, there's reasonable cooperation (adult behavior, IMHO) and there's obedience (childlike behavior, IMHO). A good way to destroy long-term chances for relationship's success is to mix up the two! :shock: 8)
DITTO!

[Vince A]

In some case people ask my permission if it's ok to ask my b/f to dance, and some guys also ask him if they can dance with me. I think they are just being polite because they know we are a couple. I think it's sweet, but I don't expect them to ask for the other's permission. I've seen it many times with some couples. They don't feel comfortable dancing with others or they have to ask before they can dance. The only time it bothers me is when a woman will hang around us all night and try to dance with my boyfriend every chance she gets. That gets annoying.
Hi Pam,
I've had the same thing happen . . . guys would come up to Carolyn to ask her to dance (if we a re sitting, etc.). They, however, are looking at me and say, "Do you mind if I dance with . . . so on, and so on."

I think it's just a matter of courtesy!

[will35]

I am accustomed to knowing everybody in the dance, so things are different for me. When we go to new places, sometimes we go with mutual friends and we don't look like a couple. That way, my wife can dance with anybody and so can I. That way, males don't feel funny asking her to dance. Many won't ask her if we come together and sit together.
I guess another question is "Why be in a relationship if you can do anything you want?" I know some people who want to stay drunk 24 hours a day. They don't because it's not good for their relationships.
I like having a jealous wife. There is one girl my wife told me not to dance with. The girl is a very good dancer, but my wife is just as good, and she is my wife. That is why I married her.
I don't really care who dances with my wife as long as they don't do anything dumb. I just act jealous so she knows I love her.
If a new girl asked me to dance without asking my wife, I'd probably just say "No." I'd like her to at least know my wife before I dance with her. That's what the ladies' rooms are for in these dances. The girls get together and talk about whose husband is the best dancer. I know, I listen to what my wife says after the dances.
Then, there are the dances that don't have a family atmosphere. Those are different.

[Sarah]

In some case people ask my permission if it's ok to ask my b/f to dance, and some guys also ask him if they can dance with me. I think they are just being polite because they know we are a couple.


Yep, I'd agree that that's just being polite, and acknowledging the existance of a relationship.
But for one half of a couple (say, A) to have to ask the other half (B) for permission to dance with someone else implies that either A doesn't know B well enough to know wether they will be upset or not, that B doesn't trust A's judgement or that there's some rather unpleasant controlling dynamic going on within the relationsip. (In such a case I would suspect a combination of all three. IME they tend to go together.) As I said - just yuck.

Cheers
Sarah

[dancergal]

My b/f is not jealous and although we do mostly sit together, we both get up and ask others to dance. Some men are very intimidated because my b/f is very tall and they won't ask me to dance if he is sitting next to me. If I want guys to ask me, I have to stand by myself somewhere else otherwise I'll be sitting all night. (girls have no problem asking my b/f to dance even if we are in conversation). One man even told a friend that he won't ask me to dance because he says my b/f looks too big. Come on guys, he won't bite!!!

[will35]

(girls have no problem asking my b/f to dance even if we are in conversation).
-dancergal


That doesn't sound very friendly.

[Pacion]

In some case people ask my permission if it's ok to ask my b/f to dance, and some guys also ask him if they can dance with me. I think they are just being polite because they know we are a couple. I think it's sweet, but I don't expect them to ask for the other's permission. I've seen it many times with some couples. They don't feel comfortable dancing with others or they have to ask before they can dance. The only time it bothers me is when a woman will hang around us all night and try to dance with my boyfriend every chance she gets. That gets annoying.
Hi Pam,
I've had the same thing happen . . . guys would come up to Carolyn to ask her to dance (if we a re sitting, etc.). They, however, are looking at me and say, "Do you mind if I dance with . . . so on, and so on."

I think it's just a matter of courtesy!

Yes, I agree about the courtesy. As I think I may have said before, I was "schooled" that way by my parents. So, I always involve the other half.

Because of this, I believe that the female partners don't see me in a threatening way whereas a female friend does get irrated when a certain girl is around. This other girl "pretends" that the SO is not around/does not exist :? and I have seen her flirting/leaving her hand on the boyfriend's pec muscles just a few seconds too long :shock:

[Genesius Redux]

I'm reading these threads with amazement. I have to ask my boyfriend? I need to check with my wife? If these threads hadn't begun in October, I'd think they were April Fools!

While I agree with Vince about the courtesy (and I would extend that courtesy to any conversation I'd be interrupting--"Would you mind if I were to ask your friend/spouse/whatever for a dance?"), the thought that anyone should need to ask permission to dance is crazy to me.

Insecure, controlling relationships--that's some majorly sad mojo going on there.

[dancin_feet]

Not being in a relationship myself, I really don't know. From the other side of the coin, if I know the couple, then I don't bother asking the woman if I can dance with her partner. It's just expected that they'll dance with other people. If I don't know the couple, and she is not dancing, I'll ask, just so you don't put the woman offside.

Just recently at a party, a husband / wife couple that I also do groups with came off the floor, and she was limping slightly. She said that she had a twinge in her ankle and need to sit for a couple of songs. A samba came up next and I immediately turned to her husband (being about the only non beginner male there that could samba) and said to him "samba me"! He looked as his wife sitting there with a sore ankle and she just said, "oh just take him, he's worn me out, maybe you can wear him down a bit before I get him again!". :lol:

We had a good old laugh about him being passed around for the rest of the night!

[Pacion]

I always ask :oops: doesn't matter if they are my best friends. I don't do jealousy very well, even if it is from "best friends". So, I ask :D

[salsachinita]

:idea: This inspires me to start a new thread......

[DancePoet]

Agree with GR!

My SO has never put me in a position where dance has threathened our relationship. The SO doesn't dance, there is no asking, nor checking, and I regularly go social dancing without the SO in attendance. We trust, respect, understand, and stay loyal.

[Sagitta]

Agree with GR!

My SO has never put me in a position where dance has threathened our relationship. The SO doesn't dance, there is no asking, nor checking, and I regularly go social dancing without the SO in attendance. We trust, respect, understand, and stay loyal.

That's the way it should be. Even if the SO is a dancer.

[Vin]

I don't need permission and I don't require it of my gf. In fact often times I have gone to the restroom and when I come back that great song is playing and unfortunately she has been taken to the floor by someone else. On rare occasion I have had women ask me to dance while I was with my gf and once a girls bf asked me to dance with his gf.
I rarely dance with a girl that is there with a bf unless I know him or her. If I know her well but don't really know him I will sort of ask if he minds, I think this is even more important if he is not a dancer himself.

[youngsta]

I'm not in a relationship right now, but there is NO way I could be with a woman that wanted me to do that.

[dancingdragon]

I think dancing with a variety of people helps to improve your dancing, so there's no way I'd stick with someone who wouldn't let me do that. It makes me sad when people won't ask me to dance because I'm with my bf. Dancing is a social activity, it just goes without saying that we will dance with other people from time to time. As long as we save the last waltz for each other!

[SDsalsaguy]

As long as we save the last waltz for each other!
What if you're at a salsa club? :tongue:

[Sarah]

As long as we save the last waltz for each other!
What if you're at a salsa club? :tongue:

You'll be waiting a long time for the last waltz. Either that or you'll have to get really creative with the timing.

Cheers
Sarah

[dancingdragon]

As long as we save the last waltz for each other!
What if you're at a salsa club? :tongue:

Unfortunately we don't have any salsa clubs in my neck of the woods. We have to go out of town for salsa so we don't do it too often. But I guess the principle would remain the same, he could dance with other people but I'd like him to save the last salsa for me!

[johnnywalker]

My wife insists I dance with other people. It's a good way to learn to lead (not that i've mastered that yet); especially when the people you dance with are of varying abilities, sizes and shapes.
My wife actually brought this up in her wedding speech. She had said that one of the things she was attracted to was my indiscriminate behaviour toward new dancers. Where others in the class would avoid dancing with the newbies or those who were obviously 'problem' dancers I didn't seem to care. It's not as altruistic as it sounds though; I just love to have a chat and anyone new is fair game for my rambling :D
Neither of us ask permission; we're comfortable in our relationship, independant yet very close.

[etchuck]

I think that the old rules of social etiquette required that men get permission from husbands in asking their wives to dance with them. I am not sure whether that extended to people dating (although I'm sure that it did apply to engaged couples). With our more libertine society, that permission is considered rather archaic, but sometimes it might be nice to ask to clear the air of any other intentions.

Of course, I doubt it would ever happen... especially if the significant other were not at the dance hall. ;)

I say this after having gone dancing lindy with this one woman. She's married but in the area without her husband for a fellowship. I wound up dancing with her a lot and had a lot of fun. I didn't need permission from her husband to dance with her (or so I hope), but she did remark how many other men paid no attention to key flag words like "husband" and "married." She didn't dance with them so much or obviously with as much flair as she did with me... mostly because she knew I was safe and can be relied upon as a good friend who at least respects the fact she has a husband. It's a shame that some dancers out there probably SHOULD get permission to dance with someone so that they can get the ulterior hormonally-driven goals out of their minds.

[cocodrilo]

I thoroughly agree with you, Genesius!!!!

[D-spot]

Hhmm, jealousy and dancing. Well, I dancehost (ladies pay me for dancing with them) occassionally. None of them have dancing partners and most are considerably older than I am. I don't make much money and need the income from this job. However, the GF refers to me as a gigolo. Joke she says, repeatedly, after using the same 'joke' time after time.
I even had to give up an offer of a free holiday in Florida over winter (a Canadian winter, mmm Florida). One lady has trouble finding IS dance partners and was willing to pay for my flight and accommodation if I would dance with her a couple of times a week. She also indicated that I could probably make more money by dancing other nights with ladies in the area. Sounded good to me. She is trustworthy a lovely lady (aroun my mothers age) and there is no other relationship between us.
Still having problems understanding this jealousy thing.
D-spot
typical man.

[pygmalion]

One lady has trouble finding IS dance partners and was willing to pay for my flight and accommodation if I would dance with her a couple of times a week. She also indicated that I could probably make more money by dancing other nights with ladies in the area. Sounded good to me. She is trustworthy a lovely lady (aroun my mothers age) and there is no other relationship between us.
Still having problems understanding this jealousy thing.
D-spot
typical man.



Hmm. Typical? I don't know. My SO and I have never placed any restrictions on each other, that way. Works for me. *shrug*


As for the dance host thing, you probably could make lots of cash, even if you're only a passable dancer. The teachers here do "rent a teacher" -- their students pay them $50 an hour to go out and dance socially. Maybe you can start something like that where you are? It would mean a couple hundred bucks a week, at least. and, at least here, there are afternnon and early evening dances, so you could still have a life and time with your girlfriend. Just a thought. 8)

[delamusica]

Well, it seems to me like it may not be just about jealousy.

I can't remember what it was, but some thread awhile ago got to talking about couples going out dancing - who treats it like a "date night" out, or whether it's just an activity to share, are you there to dance together or are you there to dance, etc - does anyone else remember that? I can't exactly recall the subject, but it was something like that.

Anyway - if they're one of those couples who have decided that they want to treat nights out dancing as a sort of date or together kind of time, then it would make all the sense in the world for them to ask before they go off dancing with someone else. I would only consider it a possesive or jealous behaviour if one of the two people wanted their dancing to be a more social activity, and it wasn't permitted by the other.

[pygmalion]

Yes, I remember that. Foursquare got blasted for saying he didn't want to share his date nights wth others. Like you, I think he has every right to go out and enjoy his evenings' dancing with his girlfriend. And, in that context, asking makes a lot of sense.

[SDsalsaguy]

Yep, but I think that foursquare made an important distinction, they we going out to go dancing together and not going out together to go dancing.

Also, it still strikes me that getting annoyed that one's SO is violating the "together" without asking and being jealous are of a different nature.

Just my 2 pesos...

[Genesius Redux]

As for the dance host thing, you probably could make lots of cash, even if you're only a passable dancer. The teachers here do "rent a teacher" -- their students pay them $50 an hour to go out and dance socially. Maybe you can start something like that where you are? It would mean a couple hundred bucks a week, at least. and, at least here, there are afternnon and early evening dances, so you could still have a life and time with your girlfriend. Just a thought. 8)

That would be more likely to bring in a little cash than being a dance host for a cruise line. As a dance host, you will make very little cash, even if you're a terrific dancer. They give you a free cruise, generally, and maybe a little money on top of it--but not always.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Re: OP, I've never met anyone who had to ask their significant other for permission to dance with someone else.

There was a lady, with whom I shared lessons and practiced for a time, who forbade me from dancing with one particular person. So there wasn't any question of my asking for permission. :razz:

Before asking someone to dance, I used to ask their s.o. for permission to ask them. I stopped doing that after a short time because it made me feel weird.

[fascination]

If I am approaching a married man or a man who clearly came with a date and she is sitting right there, I will still ask if she minds...

[Terpsichorean Clod]

You ask him, too, right? ;)

I've seen people grab their prospect without further word, immediately after prospect's s.o. assents. It seems to imply that the s.o.'s "yes" is all that matters. :?

Oh, and per OP, you've never had to ask DH for permission to dance with others, right? :)

[wooh]

I just think it's a nice thing to do, but it's definitely not required.

[wooh]

You ask him, too, right? ;)

I've seen people grab their prospect without further word, immediately after prospect's s.o. assents. It seems to imply that the s.o.'s "yes" is all that matters. :?

Oh, and per OP, you've never had to ask DH for permission to dance with others, right? :)

Well that's just kind of weird. But then again, I guess I would hope that if they ask my SO, that my SO would somehow rescue me if I didn't want to dance with the person.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

I just think it's a nice thing to do, but it's definitely not required.
We've also had some posters who find it pretty offensive. If only people would wear bracelets indicating their preferred protocol... :razz:

[wooh]

We've also had some posters who find it pretty offensive. If only people would wear bracelets indicating their preferred protocol... :razz:

Maybe a sign above their head saying what dances they want to dance as well, so nobody wastes time asking to dance a non-preferred dance. :)

[Terpsichorean Clod]

Well that's just kind of weird. But then again, I guess I would hope that if they ask my SO, that my SO would somehow rescue me if I didn't want to dance with the person.
I don't think it would be easy to say "no" after one's s.o. has said "yes".

[samina]

This concept is utterly foreign to my personal sensibilities WRT my own relationships.. The idea of going to a social environment to dance and either asking an SO (or someone's else's) or giving permission to an SO to dance with others is just...completely out of place, TMM. That's why we're there, after all...

However, am certainly aware that others have a different reality with this. I generally just leave couples with a possessive vibe alone. In the cases where a favorite lead of mine is sitting with an SO and it's looking pretty cozy, I tend to approach him and let him know I'd love to dance with him that night, and let him do the asking.

While I am quite sensitive to these nuances, I generally expect the couple to establish their own way to handle dance requests graciously (based on their own relationship's needs) before they put themselves into an environment designed for that to happen. I'm not there to get involved in weird jealous dynamics. When I've sensed those, I leave well enuf alone...

[samina]

The post by will on page 1 of the thread was fascinating to me...I felt as Genesius did, that it was so bizarre as to seem unreal and like a joke. The poster's experience, assumptions, and values WRT the social dancing experience don't intersect in any way with my own. Clearly, there are many ways people are skinning this particular cat out there, lol...

[suburbaknght]

Neither my GF nor I feel the need to ask one another's permission, but I sometimes will ask other people's. I make the decision based on body language: if the couple is very close, nervous, seems out of their element, or is rather young, then I'll ask. If they both seem experienced dancers, confident, or I've seen them dancing with other people, I don't see the need to ask.

I shoudl also point out that I don't ask the man if I can dance with his partner, but if I may ask her. One should never ask someone's partner to make the decision on whether the dance happens, but rather if they have a problem with the possibility. Usually they're fine with it (except in salsa clubs) and appreciate the courtesy. My usual question: "Is it alright with you if I ask her to dance?"

[fascination]

You ask him, too, right? ;)

I've seen people grab their prospect without further word, immediately after prospect's s.o. assents. It seems to imply that the s.o.'s "yes" is all that matters. :?

Oh, and per OP, you've never had to ask DH for permission to dance with others, right? :)yes...I ask him as well...and TC...is your OP around? b/c isn't this a very old thread?...i thought you were just bumping it b/c you thought it was a good one

[fascination]

but FTR no...dh and I have never asked one another if the other mined if we danced with X, Y, or Z

[CANI]

In response to the OP, I have never experienced or been a part of jealousy that requires one partner in a couple to ask permission of the other before asking to dance with someone. I also would not assume that jealousy is the factor.

As delamusica pointed out, there are various reasons why people come to dance. I don't make the assumption that because a couple has shown up at a social dance, that they are there to dance with everyone.

I try to get to know the people where I've danced in the past, so I've typically met both people in a couple before any dancing. If I see a couple I know who are only dancing with each other, I have occasionally in the past asked the woman, when she is alone, if she would mind if I ask her partner for a dance. I've always gotten a very pleasant response, and then at some point I ask the man for a dance.

My most recent personal experience is that the majority of those who come to a social dance with their partner desire to spend the evening dancing with their partner (I understand this is different in different places). And the social aspect is, in between dances, they talk with other people. However, if a man is asked to dance by someone else, I've never seen a man say no.

[dlgodud]

I happened to have experience that I asked a lady if it was ok to dance with her husband. I had seen her going after girls who danced with her husband and talking to them not to dance with her husband. It was awful. So when her husband asked me to dance with me, I asked her right away if it was ok. She approved it, but I did not enjoy that much dancing with him because his wife always kept her eye on us when we danced.

[dbk]

Ew, never! My boyfriend isn't my mommy, and I'm not his. Having to ask permission to dance is just crazy insecure... and it reads a romantic intent into social dancing that just shouldn't be there (especially if you're already involved with someone).

Ironically, I'm sure this is what most people are thinking when they see me and my boyfriend at a social dance, since we dance together a lot and usually share a chair. I've had strangers comment on it :oops:. But I'm up in a flash if anyone asks... they just usually don't. Doh.

[Peaches]

There also seems to be a dance culture component at work sometimes.

In AT circles, it is/can be considered the correct/proper/polite thing to do to ask a potential partner's SO if it's OK to ask, before actually doing the asking/inviting. Some people like it (respectful, traditional, etc.), some don't. I don't, but I don't have to deal with it, either.

Similarly, in very traditional AT circles no one will approach a couple (romantic or otherwise) and ask for a dance if the people are together at the time. Others will wait until either partner is alone before asking.

[tsb]

a friend of mine who's probably forgotten more about dance than i'll ever know chose to marry someone who not only didn't like him dancing with other women, she didn't care to dance much herself, and so he actually didn't dance for over a decade before they eventually divorced. i still wonder about that. i don't think i could do that.

while i usually don't bother with couples/men who are giving off an exclusive vibe - there is one exception - if i'm in an unfamiliar situation and the female of the couple is the only discernably decent follow there, in which case i will approach the couple and ask if it's ok to dance once - the idea being that if there are any follows who would otherwise have no way of identifying me as a dancer, they could subsequently approach me, introduce themselves, and ask for a dance. that has worked more than once.

[DanceAngel]

If I am approaching a married man or a man who clearly came with a date and she is sitting right there, I will still ask if she minds...

I do the same thing. IMO, I think it is polite to ask and in the times that I have the lady seems to appreciate the fact that I cared enough to make sure interrupting their date was okay.

[fascination]

and I also think it neccessary b/c it isn't like the dude is someone who has already come over and asked me to dance...otherwise I wouldn't be asking...so I just like to check with both generally it is sort of an open inquiry...would you guys mind?

[wonderwoman]

I allow the married men in practices/parties to ask me, if they want to. I've encountered very few who exclusively want to dance with their wives. But I notice people dance very well with their husband or wife and usually don't want to interrupt them if they're enjoying that. :)

[Terpsichorean Clod]

yes...I ask him as well...and TC...is your OP around? b/c isn't this a very old thread?...i thought you were just bumping it b/c you thought it was a good one
I'm pretty sure OP is no longer around. Sorry for the confusion, fasc. I just wanted to make a distinction between asking permission of someone else's s.o. (which has been covered in other threads) vs. one's own s.o. :)

[fascination]

so...now I am confused...which are we talking about?...a) I never ask my SO...b) if I don't know the couple well I will ask both of them if it is okay for me to borrow him for a few...not because she owns him but b/c if I have a date w/ dh and my favorite waltz comes on and someone else strolls up and grabs him...well...I would have preferred if she had asked...as certain dances are important and that is why I brought him along :)

[samina]

curious...wouldn't DH know to respond that he's already taken for those dances?

[Terpsichorean Clod]

so...now I am confused...which are we talking about?...
Both! ;)
a) I never ask my SO...b) if I don't know the couple well I will ask both of them if it is okay for me to borrow him for a few...not because she owns him but b/c if I have a date w/ dh and my favorite waltz comes on and someone else strolls up and grabs him...well...I would have preferred if she had asked...as certain dances are important and that is why I brought him along :)
Does DH know the waltz is yours?

Anyway, maybe you should make an example of her to prevent recurrence. The hussy...! :razz:

[fascination]

dh generally understands to put down the punch, stop socializing, and find wife for a waltz...yes...we have that understanding...as to hussies, not many dare as I clearly have the bigger bicepts...

[fascination]

curious...wouldn't DH know to respond that he's already taken for those dances?
then again , dh is a very nice fellow and not afraid of me one iota so therin lies the rub...if she asks before we find each other I am s.o.l....pout

[samina]

then again , dh is a very nice fellow and not afraid of me one iota so therin lies the rub...if she asks before we find each other I am s.o.l....pout
bingo, lol... just the interpersonal dynamic i don't want to unwittingly stumble into, which is why i tend to leave unknown or cozy couples alone since i expect (reasonably or not) for them to have their ducks in a row, lol.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

...as to hussies, not many dare as I clearly have the bigger bicepts...
:notworth:
then again , dh is a very nice fellow and not afraid of me one iota so therin lies the rub...if she asks before we find each other I am s.o.l....pout
Awww. :friend: Time to put up a sign in the studio that DH has a pre-approved permission slip, plus a Waltz Exclusion. :razz:

[fascination]

bingo, lol... just the interpersonal dynamic i don't want to unwittingly stumble into, which is why i tend to leave unknown or cozy couples alone since i expect (reasonably or not) for them to have their ducks in a row, lol.
aw sam...i'd share with you

[samina]

aw sam...i'd share with you
thanks fasc.... i know you would. :p

btw, didn't mean to be heavy-handed...i don't think my wry humor in the moment came thru in that post very well.

[fascination]

I didn't percieve you as being heavy handed :)

[samina]

good :)

[j_alexandra]

I am s.o.l....pout

I love that term: s.o.l. Haven't heard it in ages.

[j_alexandra]

(sorrysorrysorry bot)

I usually ask only non-attached men to dance. there's just too much potential for bad stuff to happen, with men who are joined at the hip to a partner.

my bad, maybe. but it's hard enough to ask a guy to dance. to get past the gf/wife barrier is even harder.

[Terpsichorean Clod]

I usually ask only non-attached men to dance. there's just too much potential for bad stuff to happen, with men who are joined at the hip to a partner.
Or at the rib, if they're standard dancers. :razz:

[Peaches]

(sorrysorrysorry bot)

I usually ask only non-attached men to dance. there's just too much potential for bad stuff to happen, with men who are joined at the hip to a partner.

my bad, maybe. but it's hard enough to ask a guy to dance. to get past the gf/wife barrier is even harder.
Thankfully, I've only had an issue with a s.o. once. Oddly, it was my teacher's wife, who seemed to take to sitting in the studio during lessons and glaring at me/us dancing. Bizarre. In a studio with, as often as not, other people around...having a lesson...nothing interesting going on. Was I enjoying myself? Absolutely, I've never made a secret that half the point of my lessons was for sheer enjoyment of dancing as much as learning. But her reaction was just...bizarre to me.

I had to stop for financial reasons, but I think I'd have stopped with him anyhow, on account of not even wanting to deal with his wife and that whole dynamic. Very off-putting. And exceptionally unprofessional, I think; not on his part--he was the same as always--but given that she worked the "business side" of his teaching, unprofessional on her part.

[dlgodud]

Think about jealousy. Is this one of human character that everyone has? I get jealous sometimes for certain things, but not many things. Thank for that!