Eccentricity and Argentine Tango

[DanceMentor]

I can't count how many times I've heard people say, "People who dance Argentine Tango are strange." I want to be careful here and not make that claim myself, but rather ask you to come up with some reasons why you think this is/isn't true.

[will35]

Well, it is a foreign dance to people in the United States. We like the old scratchy records, because we don't care about fidelity but about music. We don't really care for other dances, because when we try to do them, the Argentine Tango just slips out, and the partners freak out. We learned to Tango not by imitating others, but trying not to imitate others. There are some who want to recreate the dances that they had in Argentina in the fifties. That woud be strange enough even if it were just the U.S. in the fifties we were trying to recreate. Mostly only old people like old stuff, but Argentine Tango dancers are mostly young, and we love the old stuff. We don't like rules in our dance, we just like to dance. Yeah, that's pretty wierd. I have noticed some of the questions that I ask here in the forums spill over to the other dance categories such as the ones about certification. They don't get answers for a long time, as though the people in the other dances just never thought about it until then. I can almost feel the brainwaves cranking up. It is something they just took for granted. We just think differently from other dancers.
I am pretty strange, but I was strange before I started to dance the Tango.

[Lucrezia]

Well, Will, you're totally right. We are strange.

You mentioned the main reason:
"We don't really care for other dances, because when we try to do them, the Argentine Tango just slips out, and the partners freak out."

And may I add another thing:
We do not really care for other things at all, because when we try to do them, the Argentine Tango slips out, and everybody freaks out.!!!!
:wink:

We're a bunch of anachronists, trying to behave normal, but Tango always comes in our way.....

I always try hard to keep my other interests but it get's harder and harder every day... It's a kind of Jekyll & Hyde-Story :D :? :x :evil:

[DanceMentor]

I hope neither of you were offended by my question. It's just something that I've been wanting to ask for a long time.

I'm strange, too. I think it's healthy to have a certain amount of "strangeness". I think also Argentine tango tends to attract people who are very intelligent, and intelligence is often regarded as eccentricity, or at least there is some measure of equality between them. True?

(Apologies to less intelligent, eccentric people and more intelligent 'normal' people :lol: )

[will35]

intelligence is often regarded as eccentricity
-Dance Mentor

Well, all of a sudden it feels much better to be a wierdo.
On the other hand, I think Argentine Tango would appeal to almost anybody who had enough exposure to it, because it is just a lot of fun. Strange people go looking for that type of thing, but more normal ones just never worry much about it. Until Argentine Tango is not such a foreign concept to Americans, it will be something special for us aficionados. Let's face it, even in Argentina, it is a little strange to stay out all night and dance the old people's dance.

[Zaratustra shaking it]

Here in Argentina, to be able to dance tango its kind of cool and does not make you eccentric.

[Peaches]

Wow, what an interesting question.

Just the other day I found a clip of AT that I really liked, and I showed it to my parents. They have just been very strange about the whole dancing thing--supportive (but it doesn't quite feel like it to me) but also very critical (maybe it's just questioning and I'm overly defensive) about the social aspects. Given that I'm married...and my husband doesn't dance...and now I have something of a ballroom partner. Anyway.

So, I showed them this clip because I wanted them to see what it's like, and what I learned, and hopefully get something of an understanding. Or something, anything, other than the standard question about whay my husband thinks.

Their reaction? It's weird. Nothing else, just weird. So your question is kind of hitting me at a good time for thoughts on the subject.

Unfortunately, I don't really have an answer. I can answer from my own persepctive. For me, I've always been something of an outcast. I've always been extremely shy and quiet. I've got a lot going on in my head--lots of emotions and lots of thoughts and creativity, but no outlet. Or, maybe I should say that I'm too reserved to show most of it. And then I discovered AT.

I feel like I've found a dance that fits me. Kind of outside the mainstream, just kind of doing its thing. A dance with lots of emotion, and plenty of reflection, but it's very subtle (to me) in its expression. It's sensual and sexy without the discomforting hip/butt waggling of the latin dances. A seriousness about the whole thing, even to a milonga. A certain offbeat kind of quality.

Maybe there are just more people like me who gravitate towards it. Normally we wouldn't be noticed, but when there's something visible that we have in common and can be identified with (Them? They're AT dancers...) it's easier to label us as strange.

Actually, I don't have a clue.

[FTL]

I can't count how many times I've heard people say, "People who dance Argentine Tango are strange." I want to be careful here and not make that claim myself, but rather ask you to come up with some reasons why you think this is/isn't true.

What I've observed is that most AT dancers seem to avoid ballroom (and vice versa)? Could this be the reason that AT dancers are labeled strange? In terms of personality most AT dancers I've met are well adjusted. Also, they share their expertise more readily than a ballroom dancer.

[new-ish]

I live in a well populated area, but I usually see the same group at most partner dances in my area. Most of the people at the WCS class tonight were at the AT workshop last night at a different venue and with different teachers.

We probably are strange, but we're so used to each other that we don't notice.

[bordertangoman]

Wow, what an interesting question. .

verily, it raises a lot of philosophical debate. Having recently read Adam Phillips book 'Going Sane'; I think you have raised some interesting questions as to what is perceived as 'normal' and whether normal is actually sane.( A bit like in the Hitch Hikers Guide where there's machine that shows how absolutely insignificant we all are against the infinity of the Universe but of course no one can actualy cope with this truth, except Zaphod Beeblebrox, of course)

Just the other day I found a clip of AT that I really liked, and I showed it to my parents. They have just been very strange about the whole dancing thing--supportive (but it doesn't quite feel like it to me) but also very critical (maybe it's just questioning and I'm overly defensive) about the social aspects. Given that I'm married...and my husband doesn't dance...and now I have something of a ballroom partner. Anyway.

So, I showed them this clip because I wanted them to see what it's like, and what I learned, and hopefully get something of an understanding. Or something, anything, other than the standard question about whay my husband thinks.

Their reaction? It's weird. Nothing else, just weird. So your question is kind of hitting me at a good time for thoughts on the subject..

I have had similar reactions. My sister was quite impressed though when I did a demo in her oak floored hall, with a tangeura friend.

Unfortunately, I don't really have an answer. I can answer from my own persepctive. For me, I've always been something of an outcast. I've always been extremely shy and quiet. I've got a lot going on in my head--lots of emotions and lots of thoughts and creativity, but no outlet. Or, maybe I should say that I'm too reserved to show most of it. And then I discovered AT.

I feel like I've found a dance that fits me. Kind of outside the mainstream, just kind of doing its thing. A dance with lots of emotion, and plenty of reflection, but it's very subtle (to me) in its expression. It's sensual and sexy without the discomforting hip/butt waggling of the latin dances. A seriousness about the whole thing, even to a milonga. A certain offbeat kind of quality.

Maybe there are just more people like me who gravitate towards it. Normally we wouldn't be noticed, but when there's something visible that we have in common and can be identified with (Them? They're AT dancers...) it's easier to label us as strange.

Actually, I don't have a clue.

Not having a clue is always a good philosophical position!:)

[merci beaucoup]

Wow, what an interesting question.

Just the other day I found a clip of AT that I really liked, and I showed it to my parents. They have just been very strange about the whole dancing thing--supportive (but it doesn't quite feel like it to me) but also very critical (maybe it's just questioning and I'm overly defensive) about the social aspects. Given that I'm married...and my husband doesn't dance...and now I have something of a ballroom partner. Anyway.

So, I showed them this clip because I wanted them to see what it's like, and what I learned, and hopefully get something of an understanding. Or something, anything, other than the standard question about whay my husband thinks.

Their reaction? It's weird. Nothing else, just weird. So your question is kind of hitting me at a good time for thoughts on the subject.

Unfortunately, I don't really have an answer. I can answer from my own persepctive. For me, I've always been something of an outcast. I've always been extremely shy and quiet. I've got a lot going on in my head--lots of emotions and lots of thoughts and creativity, but no outlet. Or, maybe I should say that I'm too reserved to show most of it. And then I discovered AT.

I feel like I've found a dance that fits me. Kind of outside the mainstream, just kind of doing its thing. A dance with lots of emotion, and plenty of reflection, but it's very subtle (to me) in its expression. It's sensual and sexy without the discomforting hip/butt waggling of the latin dances. A seriousness about the whole thing, even to a milonga. A certain offbeat kind of quality.

Maybe there are just more people like me who gravitate towards it. Normally we wouldn't be noticed, but when there's something visible that we have in common and can be identified with (Them? They're AT dancers...) it's easier to label us as strange.

Actually, I don't have a clue.

I really liked this answer. Rang plenty of bells with me.

[elenapankey2004]

"Strange" people are dancing Tango? - NO!
They just all are very lonely, and some flirty, but all are looking for extra love. They did not have love enough in their childhood and youth. They all looking for extra hug, and for some approval, for some connections...For this kind illusions people get hooked with tango..

Since it was born from many immigrants who tried to create it, this dance is full of many different elements of many dances from many counties. If guess, that some Americans don't have the European culture, don't know many dances, it might feel to them that AT is stranger. But if AT would be taught with perspective of analyzing of many different dances inside it - it is not really so difficult!
Tango just needs more deep cultural understandings and a GOOD teacher. TangoCAMINITO.com

[Zaratustra shaking it]

"Strange" people are dancing Tango? - NO!
They just all are very lonely, and some flirty, but all are looking for extra love. They did not have love enough in their childhood and youth. They all looking for extra hug, and for some approval, for some connections...For this kind illusions people get hooked with tango..


elenapankey... thats not true, why did you came to that conclusion?
Maybe YOU are a lonely, flirty or needy person...
Most tango dancers I know are just as regular people as any other.

[jfm]

You know what I've noticed there are two types of people who tango, people who are scientists or do technical jobs or are just pretty down to earth (this includes artists who aren't Artistes) (possibly more authentic to the real tango... arguable and controversial) and then the "Artistes" often these people have a basis in the Arts, but many of them don't but would like to think that they have, if that makes sense? These are often the more "eccentric" ones, and often have the most intense discussions about Tango culture and "real Tango" these people are often very pretentious and will argue against Argentine dancers that the plebs are excluded because they don't share this "special view of life" i.e. you would never find a bin man who tango's in BA. Yeah I know ***?
They will come out with statements like "Tango is full of artists and intellectuals, you have to be a very special type of person to do this...etc etc"
In any kind of minority activity there will always be a few like this.
I really hate tango snobbery. You can't be the Elite if you aren't actually elite, you get me?
I encountered people like this when I was at Oxbridge (won't specify to protect the guilty) and they were known as "tits".

[Me]

We're nothing compared to all you SSQQ freaks! ;)

[Dave Bailey]

You know what I've noticed there are two types of people who tango, people who are scientists or do technical jobs or are just pretty down to earth (this includes artists who aren't Artistes) (possibly more authentic to the real tango... arguable and controversial) and then the "Artistes" often these people have a basis in the Arts, but many of them don't but would like to think that they have, if that makes sense?
It does make sense, yes. I've no time for teachers who wax lyrical about the culture, the intensity, the feeling, the heart, blah blah blah...

("I'm learning to dance, OK? I'm perfectly capable of learning the non-dance aspects myself, I thought you were teaching me to dance?!")

In any kind of minority activity there will always be a few like this. I really hate tango snobbery. You can't be the Elite if you aren't actually elite, you get me?
The best teachers I've found so far are Korey and Mila - and they're lovely and friendly, down-to-earth and approachable. There may be some correlation... :)

(I took a private with Korey and he told me to smile - I nearly died of shock!)

[bastet]

An intriguing question, as I have both a science and art background (I got a degree in science but became a glass worker by trade). I am well known to be odd (let's say eccentric) and always have been. I still dance some ballroom, mostly becasue there is so much Tango to learn, I felt I had to pick a couple of other favorites to keep up with (like West Coast Swing). In my own town there are LOTS of computer people and so many of the people I know are involved with computers or are scientists. A few are artists like myself and a few are therapists (I guess y'all put that in the art "feeling" side) and few others just have "regular Joe" jobs...so a bit of a mix. Most of them are quirky, but you could say that about anyone you get to know well enough, I suppose. I've never really thought of them as strange, and quite a few of them also do or have done other dances before they learned tango.

For myself, all I can say is that tango drew me because it has some unidentifiable component that ballroom didn't have (but WCS does) and maybe, a bit like peaches, it's sensual without the "butt-wiggle" of latin dances. (Don't get me wrong though...I enjoy doing Cuban Motion). I can connect more emotionally to the music through the movements than I can with ballroom and a lot of people I talk to who do other dances say similar things about it.

[Ampster]

As a Tango dancer myself, I do have to admit to a certain level of eccentricity.

Its in the form of totally adoring mutual movement shared by you and your partner called, "The Tango."

I also have to admit that the eccentricity of mine is spurred on with a sense of pride in that I can dance, a dance, that is known to be the most complicated of the social dances beautifully, sensually, and from the heart (at least, I like to think so). Its like being in a very exclusive club of people who can do "The Dance."

Eccentric? Yes, I am :cool:

[jennyisdancing]

[quote=Dave Bailey;411947]It does make sense, yes. I've no time for teachers who wax lyrical about the culture, the intensity, the feeling, the heart, blah blah blah...

("I'm learning to dance, OK? I'm perfectly capable of learning the non-dance aspects myself, I thought you were teaching me to dance?!")

Dave, teaching someone to dance, sing, act, or do any performing arts DOES involve teaching the person how to express their feelings, show their heart, and respect the culture that created the art form. Emotional expression is not a "non-dance aspect" at all; just the opposite. Without expression, it's not dancing, it's just a collection of steps and patterns.

I am just starting to learn the tango, although I have had dance training in other styles. My teacher clearly explains proper technique but also teaches us how to feel the dance and express the music. Because of that, I have fallen in love with tango and I am motivated to learn more and to practice.

For me, dancing brings out my personality and my inner self, the part of me that has no words. Any teacher who can develop that really knows what he or she is doing.

By contrast, I also was taking West Coast Swing and the teachers sucked every bit of joy out of what should be a fun dance style. I'm switching to a different instructor for that one.

[jfm]

Its in the form of totally adoring mutual movement shared by you and your partner called, "The Tango."
that's not eccentric! It would be eccentric not to love it!

Also I'm not putting forward that we should ignore the cultural and emotional aspects of Tango, just that people from all walks of life enjoy it and to claim that only the "intelligensia" (hmm an oxymoron?) can truly understand these aspects is ridiculous. Tango was born of the streets, we should remember that.

[DennisBeach]

I can't count how many times I've heard people say, "People who dance Argentine Tango are strange." I want to be careful here and not make that claim myself, but rather ask you to come up with some reasons why you think this is/isn't true.

Living in Wisconsin, being into any dance - AT, Ballroom, swing, salsa etc makes you strange. Since any adult night time activity not focused on drinking or yelling at officials/coaches/players is strange here.

[jhpark]

hm. i may have mentioned this before on another thread, but i think tango has a tendency to draw people with either a profound sadness in their lives, or at least much seriousness. it's something about the music.

i was talking to a couple strangers and tango came up, and i compared it to swing: swing is relentlessly happy, whereas with tango you have a wider range of emotions. i think those two would have preferred the relentlessly happy, so i sorta wandered away after that :)

[salsamale]

My initial concept of AT was that it would be a sensual dance, similar to bachata. Then I started listening to a lot of AT music, and my impression of the music is that a lot of it is depressing. Beautiful, but depressing. Morose.

I'm still hoping to find the sensuality in the dance, but a lot of the music tells me to dance like a heart-broken man who is walking home from work, late at night, head bowed, long shadows cast by waning street lamps, steps echoing on empty streets, wet from the rain. That, or like a man who is happy about a horse :).

[jennyisdancing]

My initial concept of AT was that it would be a sensual dance, similar to bachata. Then I started listening to a lot of AT music, and my impression of the music is that a lot of it is depressing. Beautiful, but depressing. Morose.

I'm still hoping to find the sensuality in the dance, but a lot of the music tells me to dance like a heart-broken man who is walking home from work, late at night, head bowed, long shadows cast by waning street lamps, steps echoing on empty streets, wet from the rain. That, or like a man who is happy about a horse :).

Well, I know someone from Argentina. Believe it or not, he doesn't dance tango. But he loves the music. He told me that tango music is to Argentina what the blues is to America. It comes from the streets and it's about life and all its problems, and occasionally its joys.

[Peaches]

My initial concept of AT was that it would be a sensual dance, similar to bachata. Then I started listening to a lot of AT music, and my impression of the music is that a lot of it is depressing. Beautiful, but depressing. Morose.

I'm still hoping to find the sensuality in the dance, but a lot of the music tells me to dance like a heart-broken man who is walking home from work, late at night, head bowed, long shadows cast by waning street lamps, steps echoing on empty streets, wet from the rain. That, or like a man who is happy about a horse :)....there are times when I'm glad I don't understand the lyrics...

Morose-nes aside, I find AT to be an extremely sensual dance. Keep at it, you'll find it.

[jfm]

there are some quite cheery ones as well, and the milongas are fun (even if the lyrics are pretty dark, the music sparkles!) I think if you go to a well DJ'd milonga you will find that they try to balance it out with some more light hearted songs...
there's one that reminds me of the theme tune of Diagnosis Murder... it makes me laugh every time I dance to it- possibly not the most appropriate response, but it cheers me up! And the Choo Choo Choo Train one! I love it!

[samina]

That, or like a man who is happy about a horse :).

lol...

[samina]

milonga music reminds me very much of the joy of salsa...

[jfm]

yeah! and candombe!

[Peaches]

Need to learn more about candombe...

[jfm]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbZenv1CUYw

this is a little clip of canaro's interpretation... it is a bit cringe making though...

[Heather2007]

Are people who dance AT strange or eccentric? Neither. However, they can be rude, arrogant, aloof and offputting (especially for the firstimers). And so:

Ladies: If an inexperienced guy comes up to ask me to dance I always accept. Remember, in God's eyes we are all of us mere beginners. Too many times I've witnessed the shake of the head at one and then an immediate nod at another. Men also. I can lead as well as follow and too many women have asked me to lead them as a result of being shunned, verbally rejected or treated badly throughout the dance by a man. Be nice. Keep the teaching to the teacher and know that even all the dead Saints had to learn the art of patience.

Female Neuvo dancers: Watch the shins!! The planet doesn't belong to you and neither does the dancefloor. If it's crowded, for godsake keep your legs down and closer together - or better still, go get yourselves a hotel room.

Men: (and this more at the 40 plus). Just because it wears a short hemline and/or a plunging neckline and barely out of nappies, doesn't mean she is THE reason to ignore all the 40 plus women sitting at the sidelines. Most of whom have a better understanding of the story in the music how it is translated between two people sensually. And yes, that comes with maturity.

The Vogue/Hollywood wannabees. Yep the set that resemble Madame Taussaud waxworks up there on the stage at Negrachas, London. You know who you are. Remember, there's Sexy Arrogance (aka Clooney/Pitt/Clinton etc) and there's Ugly Arrogance (Hitler/Saddam/Pol Pot etc.) Period.

[Steve Pastor]

"I'm still hoping to find the sensuality in the dance, but a lot of the music tells me to dance like a heart-broken man who is walking home from work, late at night, head bowed, long shadows cast by waning street lamps, steps echoing on empty streets, wet from the rain. That, or like a man who is happy about a horse "

The Tango Man is not bowed by life's experiences. He stands and walks tall, carrying himself proudly; head up, and chest forward. He moves forward in an almost aggressive fashion.
Concentrate on being happy about a horse! Ha, you've been learning, haven't you?

If you don't find the sensuality in tango after you've felt how you can be connected to a woman's body when you dance apilado...
If you don't feel the sensuality when a woman has used her torso to have you walk between her thighs...
I know people who dance tango as if they are broken men. And I know women who seem to want to snooze along with them.
Maybe it's the songs that "my" djs play, but I find much that is interesting to dance to, and a fair amount of energy and movement in all but the dreariest of songs.
Do your djs play tandas of vals and milonga? If not you're missing the more energetic side of tango.
Seek, and ye shall find.

[bordertangoman]

Concentrate on being happy about a horse! Ha, you've been learning, haven't you?


"A four-legged friend, a four-legged friend,
he'll never let you down.
he's honest and faithful right up to the end.
That one two three, one two three, four legged friend"

[salsamale]

...
The Tango Man is not bowed by life's experiences. He stands and walks tall, carrying himself proudly; head up, and chest forward. He moves forward in an almost aggressive fashion.
...
Seek, and ye shall find.
Thanks, I shall keep this in mind :).

[salsera_alemana]

(Attention: Long!)

I am only a tango beginner and don’t know if I ever will leave that stage. The reason is that my husband does not like it because he thinks the music is depressing and he has no intention of taking another class or ever dance it. He is salsero from the heart and has been all his life. He took a beginners class with me and that's it. So I cannot dance it and can practice it only by myself.

In that class I have really fallen in love with the music and the dance! I have been a salsera from the heart but could also become a tanguera from the heart if I could progress, learn more and especially practice what I learned. I started really getting into the music and loving it! I listen to it (not exclusively to salsa anymore, hehe), I watch tango movies and video clips and other old Latin American movies (I just saw "Escuela de Música" with Pedro Infante and Libertad Lamarque - Argentine actress - a lot of nice old music, no dancing), I read about tango and Argentina, the history, the tango orchestras, composers, dancers etc. (I am a fan of almost everything Hispanic/Latin American, by the way).

By nature I am a happy and extroverted person but that does not prevent me from really immersing myself into tango. Tango to me is a very sensual (!!!) dance full of passion and underlying fire but compared to salsa very introverted (vs. salsa = extroverted). However, they go well together in my opinion because they are both very sensual, the music falls into the same big category (Latin music and moves), at least for me as a lover of Latin American music: salsa, boleros, baladas, tango. Believe me, there are boleros that are just as sad, melancholic or depressing as tangos. I do not find that music depressing, though, I find it very melancholic, many songs are very melancholic AND romantic and move me to tears! Give me one of the old boleros on one of Luis Miguel's Romance CDs, a glass of wine and some candle light and I melt away, with or without the wine and the candle light ... (Sin ti no podré vivir jamás...) I am a hopeless romantic, I guess ...

Addiction and normality:
Isn’t it nice NOT to be normal? I love to be NOT normal. That is what my non salsa friends have been thinking of me in the past 14 years. But I carry that title with pride and my non salsa friends are still my friends. And it is the same with tango addiction. Almost everything you say about your tango addiction applies to my salsa addiction. One of my salsa girlfriends and I always say: How sad and dull life must be for people who do not have a hobby that they pursue with such passion (or call it addiction?) as we do with salsa (or you with tango)? We know we live in our own salsa world:
- We listen mostly to salsa music
- We measure all monetary values in “salsa trips to Puerto Rico” or “live salsa concerts”
- Most of our friends are salseros and/or Latinos
- We try to incorporate moves from other dances into our salsa dancing
- We are not interested in other dances (exception for me: cha cha/guajira and tango!)
- We buy dressy dresses only when we can wear them also to salsa events, i.e. when they are a little sexy at the same time.
- All our dress shoes are dance shoes
etc.

Our addiction gives spice to our lives, we have all these cloud No. 9 experiences, it is just great. And I want more of it..... I also want to experience that in tango!!!

I was in Germany in April (went out to my first and so far only milonga with friends, yeah!) and had a reunion with my closest non salsa friends. One friend asked me if they play a song called “Dear Mr. President” (the group’s name is Pink, I believe) on American radio stations. Of course, I had no clue who the group was, had never heard the song and had no idea if they played this song here in the US, since I only listen to my Latin radio stations. Do I have to tell you that he gave me "the look", like "Is she still not back to normal after all these years"?

[Peaches]

I am only a tango beginner and don’t know if I ever will leave that stage. The reason is that my husband does not like it because he thinks the music is depressing and he has no intention of taking another class or ever dance it. He is salsero from the heart and has been all his life. He took a beginners class with me and that's it. So I cannot dance it and can practice it only by myself.

Don't resign yourself to that fate! There are plenty of things you can do to practice on your own which will help you get better. Keep taking classes, take private lessons if you can (I'm a huge believer in private lessons), and GO DANCING!!! Go to practicas if your not comfortable at a milonga, or if your milonga isn't friendly enough.

Even better...take a trip to Argentina and take lessons there. (Much cheaper, even for good ones.)

In that class I have really fallen in love with the music and the dance! I have been a salsera from the heart but could also become a tanguera from the heart if I could progress, learn more and especially practice what I learned. I started really getting into the music and loving it! I listen to it That's a really good start, listening to the music. When I first started I listened to nothing but tango music--literally--for months. And at first I only had 2 cd's which I played on repeat incessantly. It's good for getting the feel of it, and learning the patterns of the music, and generally falling in love with it.
I also want to experience that in tango!!! Keep it up and you will. (Aside: So happy to have snagged another one!) There's nothing like it--it's a connection with another person like no other.

[salsera_alemana]

Peaches,

Don't resign yourself to that fate! There are plenty of things you can do to practice on your own which will help you get better. Keep taking classes, take private lessons if you can (I'm a huge believer in private lessons), and GO DANCING!!! Go to practicas if your not comfortable at a milonga, or if your milonga isn't friendly enough.

Even better...take a trip to Argentina and take lessons there. (Much cheaper, even for good ones.)

Thanks for your moral support! Unfortunately, in my city there is no AT, the next city that offers AT classes and a milonga 1x month is 1 hour and 15 minutes away (that is where we took the class) and I cannot go there by myself at night. In Europe my husband would let me go to another city at night but here in the US he is too scared (and me, too) with all the crime everywhere. And he does not want to go on with tango. So no luck with practicas, milongas, classes... Also, doing it without him would not be that much fun for me as the scene is really small here and more followers than leads. I am so spoiled with leads since my husband is such a good dancer, and if he was into tango he could become a great tanguero, too. If only....

Oh yes, that is my ultimate goal: a trip to Argentina! That is one reason why I wanted to learn AT because I do not want to be in Buenos Aires and not be able to dance AT and go to those great dance venues. Argentina has been on my travel wish list for years.

[Peaches]

Thanks for your moral support! Unfortunately, in my city there is no AT, the next city that offers AT classes and a milonga 1x month is 1 hour and 15 minutes away (that is where we took the class) and I cannot go there by myself at night. In Europe my husband would let me go to another city at night but here in the US he is too scared (and me, too) with all the crime everywhere. And he does not want to go on with tango. So no luck with practicas, milongas, classes... Also, doing it without him would not be that much fun for me as the scene is really small here and more followers than leads. I am so spoiled with leads since my husband is such a good dancer, and if he was into tango he could become a great tanguero, too. If only....OK. So, that sucks. I don't know what to tell you, except that I sympathise. My lessons are that far away, and all milongas are about an hour away, so I understand. At least here we have great milongas. There's got to be a way, though. (I don't like to let anyone out of the vortex. Misery? Addiction? loves company.)

I understand, though. My husband doesn't dance at all, although he doesn't have any issues with me going by myself. Are there things you could do to make him, and you, more comfortable with you going without him? I packed an emergency kit in my car, which seemed to shut my parents up. Or, could he drop you off, amuse himself for a few hours, and then pick you up at the end of the dance?

Oh yes, that is my ultimate goal: a trip to Argentina! That is one reason why I wanted to learn AT because I do not want to be in Buenos Aires and not be able to dance AT and go to those great dance venues. Argentina has been on my travel wish list for years.Oh, don't wait until you learn AT to go to Argentina. Just go. Get lessons while you're down there. (And shoes, and leather goods, and yummy food, and yummy coffee, and...) The most expensive part is the flight down there...after that, it's super cheap. And WONDERFUL!!!!