The Dancing w/the Stars thread

[SDsalsaguy]

So... as some of you may have noticed, the Dw/tS thread seemed to get rather negative yesterday. Eventually that got squashed, but I woke up to find the following PM:

Dear Jonathan,

I checked the thread this morning, and I noticed my last post from yesterday was deleted; also, one of Ithink's posts was modified. There was no PM notice from any moderator regarding reason for the deletion.

You had already posted a warning to both Ithink and me. Ithink immediately posted a reply that it was over for her. I also followed suit, because the issue wasn't worth pursuing. Our little spat, which didn't amount to anything, was done. I don't think the deletion was warranted. I'd also suggest you read through Ithink's post, which triggered my first reply to her.

I'm also questioning other posts that remains on the thread. Below is one example. I haven't post any reply, against my better judgment.


Never saw so many crybabies and sore losers. Not one of us who liked Kelly has said, "I told you she'd win," but yet they (the crybabies and sore losers) can't acknowledge their wrong choice.



I don't think it's appropriate to call a group of people "crybabies and sore losers", especially coming from a moderator. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Some people thought Kelly rightfully won, and others thought John should have won. I posted my feelings about the results, but I didn't call the Kelly supporters any names.

In any event, I'm very disappointed that my post was deleted without a notice or any discussion. Also, I'm unhappy, in light of this, posts like the above remain with no apparent action.

If you would like to discuss this matter further, please call me during business hours at (xxx) xxx-xxxx.

Sincerely,

Rebecca

Does anyone know what happened? I know that sometimes I'l do a drive-by edit if I'm running out the door, etc., but I'll always PM the party in queston later. Not notifying a first time poster would be one thing (although we even do that a good bit) bt, as a long standing DF member *and* as a matter of DF policy, I agree with her that members should at least be contacted.

I am not trying to int any fingers, but I think her points are well taken and, at the least, wanted to understand for myself what had happened.

Thanks,

SD

[DanceMentor]

Rebecca may be over reacting a little, but I think it is very important that everyone remains positive, and does not take too side too heavily, especially as moderators.

What is Rebecca's username?

[SDsalsaguy]

Rebecca = Purr

While I think she (and Ithink) both wnt too far in their spat, I also think she's right about the moderators/moderating issues involvd.

Note: for those who don't know, Purr is also our #1 mod over at the Pets Forum.

[Sagitta]

I do think that moderators should pm posters when edits are done. And I have noticed that you are pretty outspoken Vince, in general.

[SDsalsaguy]

Part of the problem is, of course, that things often don't come across the same way when just in writing. I know Vince in person as well as on line, and so hadn't even really noticed the coments inquestion until PM'd by Purr. Since she got a minor public scolding (by me), had a message edited without notice (by ?), and doesn't know Vince, she obviously read his comments quite diferently... which, from her perspective, I can understand too!

To me the issue that we need to clear up is that we do not moderate the posts of members in good standing without eiher PMing them or posting what was edited and why in the message in question. If I was in Purr's shoes, my fet would hurt! But seriously though, I'd be upset too... and please notice, she did NOT post anything about her complaint publicly, she PM'd a member of the staff (as we would want to have happen). So, again, I am not happy that she'd gone where she had in the thread in question in the first place, but she didn't mean to go too far or ignore DF procedure either.

OK, I'm going back to bed now (7am here). :?

[mamboqueen]

Well, I do have to agree with Purr....the whole thing seemed finished on both of their parts. If it had continued, then, perhaps a PM to each of them would have been warranted -- but at the same time as you were editing their posts, not before (IMO). I don't think you need permission, or a blessing from someone.

I admittedly had a little run-in with Ithink, but I really feel like she's a tad oversensitive and cried foul where there was none. I don't think it's necessarily necessary to jump in unless there is an ad-hominem attack on another poster. If someone can't handle someone else's opinion, it's their problem.

The crybaby comment was probably unwise, with all due respect to Vince.

[Larinda McRaven]

Okay, I give, it was me. I simply felt the comments were out of line and since they added nothing to the thread I didn't think anyone would miss them.

I really admit that it didn't even register with me WHO the posters were, just that senseless bickering was going on and they were told to stop... and then there was still some mild childish rumblings in their aquiescence.

The only deleting I have really done is cleaning up the Ads forum and cleaning up after Contracheck... so it never occured to me that an explanatory PM needed to be sent, I can't imagine that the posts would be missed or that she would even want to go back to reread them later... although looking back at it now I can see that it would have been appropriate to either leave the posts alone or PM them my intent to erase the episode.

I am very sorry if feelings were hurt and will fully apologize to everyone involved.

[mamboqueen]

It wouldn't really occur to me to go back and re-read my old posts either, Larinda. I'm surprised people do.

[Vince A]

I read your comments Jon, and . . . honestly, I was truly pissed off!

I (and the several others who liked Kelly) never bad mouthed John, or any other dancer. We didn't say that he coudn't dance or that he "steenks" (your words - sorry - nothing aimed at you - I know where you were coming from and going, and I know how you write).

But Kelly got called names by most everyone, and it continued after she won . . . then I got picked on. . . but I'm a big guy, I can take it, and I'm a moderator, so I kept it as civil as I could . . . w/o attacking anyone in particular.

I wanted to "quit" being a moderator over that . . . I really wanted to write what I felt, and believe you me I can write.

I write on an eighth-grade level for resonses on the DF, which is considered average for general audience levels. However . . . I was so compelled to write a dissertation to those who continued to bash Kelly after the contest was over, but I would have gone overboard.

No, I didn't win, nor did lose. I wasn't in that contest, but the handful or so of us that voted for Kelly didn't point fingers or bash anyone else. My most derogatory comment about John centered on "I thought that he looked like a novice," which he did . . . and he didn't lose that look all through the dances to the finals.

I think that this was the lowest that this DF has gone . . . no fault to Larinda who started that last round the night of the finals . . .

[DanceMentor]

Like everything else...this will pass.
Let's not beat ourselves up over it.
We have to live with our decisions, and realize that each of us is doing what we feel is best at the time. We don't know what would have happened had we not taken action, or taken a different action. I hope we can be supportive of each other, and realize that most likely nobody will even remmber what happened a month from now. :)

[mamboqueen]

I agree, DM. Except I still think that Ithink person has a little bit of a chip and I wouldn't be surprised if she keeps nitpicking...but c'est la vie.

I have a hard time myself keeping my true feelings or words in, and I realize, as a moderator, we're held to a little higher standard. I've deleted many posts that I almost "submitted" because of it. I didn't really think things would get so heated over a tv show. I guess we'll have to watch it if this show comes 'round again, tho!

[SDsalsaguy]

This show will come around again. The next season has already been commited to by ABC, and the dancers from season one actually signed contracts for up to five seasons if ABC picks up that option.

As far as the thread itself, I agree with Vince's analysis of how SOME supporters from the two camps represented themselves... but just because only John fans slammed Kelly doesn't mean that the majority of Kelly fans slammed John (although some clearly did). I can also see why Larinda edited what she had, especially as the posts in question ended up contributing a lot of negativity and no substance to the issue. The only thing I really want to suggest is that, in the future, we are all careful to note substantive edits made (i.e. things other than coding, deactivating lins, etc.) either in the post itself or in a PM to the author for members in good standing.

I think the key issue is the first section of Guideline #5:
5. There are several moderators in the dance forums. Posts that do not belong will be removed as quickly as possible. In some cases a member's post may be edited. Generally, moderators will discuss the matter and try to come up with a solution that is appropriate to the situation. Usually, the member will be notified when this occurs. The moderators will strive to be as thoughtful and courteous as possible.

Obviously there will be times when we don't do this (such as for "drive-by" posters, etc.), but, as a standard operating model, I think this best...

[Vince A]

I'm kewl . . .

[DanceMentor]

I'm kewl . . .

Yes, you are. Me too (or so they tell me). 8)

[Vince A]

Thanks David . . . and yes, you are kewl!

And so is Jonathan.

And so are all the rest of the moderators . . . we have a really kewl family here!