How do people find dance partners?!

[MissyK]

How do people do it?

I can't seem to find someone who's serious about dancing. I'd like to take private lessons with that partner, practice several times a week, and compete!!!

I've only just begun ballroom a year ago, and I've completed international Bronze level. I've NEVER taken swing before, and, as farfetched as this seems, I want to be a professional swing dancer in the future!!!

Does anyone have any pointers?

[Sagitta]

Ok. I sort of remember this topic before but I'm in a hurry.... But, one way people do so is through classes that they participate in...meeting people there, or chatting people at dances...

And welcome to df. :car:

[lujan]

Talk to everyone you know about it. I am currently in between swing partners, but have found several people I work with are either swing dancers, or interested in trying. Most people I know who dance, came to their first class because they were dragged along by friends. Many of them are now quite accomplished dancers.

[Kitty]

try websites which have a partner search section
such as ballroomdancers.com (free)
and dancepartner.com (free to create an account and look at other's profiles, but you or your prospective partner may need to pay small amount to be able to contact the prospective parnters)

look at people's ads and post your own.

where are you located?

[tsb]

you might consider sending adwiz a PM; he also lives in vancouver.

[lynn]

I live in Vancouver as well and frankly, I"m wondering about the same question. Just about every single class I've been to there are always more ladies than gentlemn. Sometimes the ratio could be as absurd as 1:3. All the guys I've talked to in class are all there for social reasons, no one that I know of seems to be interested in truly improving their dancing. That's why I'm pretty much stuck with myself taking private lessons with no one to practice with.

MissyK, how do you manage to get through bronze without having a steady partner? I'm doing bronze right now and I find it very difficult to be not able to practice after class.

[Sagitta]

How about you 2 practicing with each other and learning both roles? That would solve the problem of not having a lead...

[Kitty]

that wouldn't solve the problem of competing.

[Kitty]

I live in Vancouver as well and frankly, I"m wondering about the same question. Just about every single class I've been to there are always more ladies than gentlemn. Sometimes the ratio could be as absurd as 1:3. All the guys I've talked to in class are all there for social reasons, no one that I know of seems to be interested in truly improving their dancing. That's why I'm pretty much stuck with myself taking private lessons with no one to practice with.

MissyK, how do you manage to get through bronze without having a steady partner? I'm doing bronze right now and I find it very difficult to be not able to practice after class.

Very sorry to hear you can't find a partner. Very much afraid to be stuck in the same situation :shock: ... there is no big problem with beginner guys here, it is the advanced ones that are tough to find. :( (advanced girls are apparently tough to find as well)

I'm sure somewhere in your city there are beginner men you could dance with. You have to find out which other studios are there, come to each single one of them and ask if anyone knows any guys roughly your age that need a partner. (talk to coaches, not just receptionists). Seriously. Thats how guys are found (besides the internet, of course).
There are guys out there, but they are probably doing pro/am.

[Chris Stratton]

I'm suspcious what we are really missing is a reliable, accessable support system for turning enthusiastic beginners into the kind of solid all-around dancers that everyone seems to be looking for in their searches.

Yes, there are teachers here and there who will support part of the process for a handfull of students, but they can't be everywhere. Often it's really hard to know what to recommend to a promising beginner - effective teachers can be hard to schedule with, partners to practice with hard to find.

It seems like each honest-to-gold success is probably the sole survivor of perhaps 100 beginners who give this dancing thing a try. Sure, it's probably not right for 95 of the 100... but if we could keep 4, or 3, or even just 2 out of every 100 instead of the current 1, think what a difference that would make.

Ideal partners aren't going to fly in from outer space... a main reason why many can't find partners is that there just isn't anywhere for suitable partners to come from, other than the unlikely series of lucky breaks that dot our own histories.

[Kitty]

oh, and the chances of finding someone exactly at your level are really low; one person will have to catch up to the other

don't be afraid to start a partnership with a guy with less experience than you. If it takes him few months to get to your level, it is still worth it because 1) at the end you have an amateur partner to practice with 2) he could get there a lot faster than you expect cause he'd have someone to practice with 3) you would save money on lessons if the two of you are sharing the cost of privates and 4) at the end you could compete without having to pay your partner...

answering Chris's question, my situation is a little different because to train a guy from scratch up to my level could take a year, so it doesn't seem to have a lot of sense for me to do that.

[lynn]

Hi, Kitty, that's exactly what I did, I put up a posting at another studio for a partner and guess what? I'm meeting up with a "potential" tomorrow morning! I agree sometimes dance partners are not 100% compatible. I'm pretty much a beginner but the guy I'll be meeting is a lot better in latin than in standards, so I guess that's something we'll have to work on.

Perhaps I was too quick to jumpt to the conclusion that there are shortage of guys. It's true that most dance classes are short of men but the problem is especially apparent in intermediate/advanced classes. I've been to an intermediate standard class where there are about 10 ladies with just 1 guy :shock: !! Most of the guys dabble in beginnerland forever partly because they skip so many classes partly because they just aren't willing to put in as much effort as the ladies (commitment issues?? :wink: ). I was told by one instructor that because leading is so much more difficult than following for beginners that's one reason why a lot of the guys feel frustrated and quit (i'm not a leader so i can't validate this point).

[lynn]

Yes, there are teachers here and there who will support part of the process for a handfull of students, but they can't be everywhere. Often it's really hard to know what to recommend to a promising beginner - effective teachers can be hard to schedule with, partners to practice with hard to find.

This is so true. I know people who've danced for 2+ years but are still in pre-bronze (yes, they're not even @ the bronze level!!) because of lack of good instruction and practice. Unfortunately, the stats is that 80%+ of the people will forget the steps (or some details of the steps) once they walk out of the door. Without any practice, by the time next class hit, it's quite a miracle if the student can remember anything from the previous class. No wonder majority of the beginners quit while the rest are stuck in bronze level forever!

[macha]

Chris, you make it sound like there's a "shortage" of professional dancers- or at the very least, of partnered-up-for-competition dancers. Is that true?

I am a complete novice amateuse, and am completely in the dark about the political, social, and non-dammit-fix-that-chasse-turn-backlunge aspects of ballroom dancing, so I'm curious.

Most of me agrees that no. I will never, under any circumstances this side of hell, compete in dancing, for more reasons than just being a behemoth- but there's this nagging little voice that always says "but wouldn't it be fun to try?" countered with a louder "but you have no idea how, you don't know the ropes, it's been a lot lot LOT of years since you did the little sandlot games here and there with your sunny beau of 17" etc. etc. etc.

So- now I'm curious. There has to be a FAQ for dumb newbies regarding this matter.

And no. Never competing. Ever. Has not crossed my mind.

Cousin. In a word, Cousin. Conclusion: Cousin. (five points to anyone who gets that one) :lol:

[MissyK]

WOW!!! All these replies in one day!!! I love this forum!!!

Thanks for the advice, everybody. I watch as people pair up in my dance classes, but I'm unable to find one suitable for myself. For instance, the one that wanted to be partners with me got angry everytime I corrected him...so that couldn't work out.

To answer Lynn's question:
I managed to STRUGGLE through Bronze. I had a "sort of steady partner" in the sense that he just wanted to dance, for the social part of it. He didn't care much about the technical part, and I just hung onto him to get through the course (which I'm ashamed to admit). I told him what my goals were, and we mutually decided we're not a good pairing. I took 2 private lessons without a partner. I'm not going to continue because it's not very helpful knowing the steps when I'm the follow. Leading is waay important.


I did once set up an account at those partner search sites...but I didn't have much luck. Not many people in Vancouver...sigh.

Anyway, thanks!!!

[SDsalsaguy]

Welcome to the DF MissyK, and good luck! :D

[Chris Stratton]

Chris, you make it sound like there's a "shortage" of professional dancers- or at the very least, of partnered-up-for-competition dancers. Is that true?

I wasn't really talking about professional competition, but about a shortage in the "pool" of moderately qualified amateur dancers from which partner searches would like to draw.

While this shortage is primarily due to lack of serious interest in dancing, I think it is secondarily due to lack of matching the people who could & would do it with teacher who can help them achieve their goals. Specificically, teachers who impart the fundamental techniques that will let students' goals seem achieveable in a reasonable amount of time, instead of being an infinite and mysterious quest. While there are a few such teachers, they are too rare, too hard to schedule with, and beyond a few "names" too unknown to be a large-scale solution to the problem of training more potential partners.


Most of me agrees that no. I will never, under any circumstances this side of hell, compete in dancing, for more reasons than just being a behemoth- but there's this nagging little voice that always says "but wouldn't it be fun to try?" countered with a louder "but you have no idea how, you don't know the ropes, it's been a lot lot LOT of years since you did the little sandlot games here and there with your sunny beau of 17" etc. etc. etc.


With serious intention and a good teacher, doing bronze in a few months should not be beyond your reach. If that were the limit of your goal, most of the teachers out there would probably be fine - where I'm getting picky is in the search for those who teach a bronze that leads to gold that leads to champ, instead of a bronze that won't really work much beyond bronze.

[pygmalion]

Hi MissyK. Welcome to the forums, and best of luck. :D

[macha]

Thanks! That makes sense now.

[kdogg]

Thanks! That makes sense now.

Hey Macha,

I've seen some dancing horses; they're much better than cows.

[Neil]

I don't know if Vancouver differs from Miami, but there are many more females looking for dance partners than males for every dance other than Salsa. I know some girls go everywhere they can for group classes and socials and look for guys who seem to have an interest in dance and the right temperament for practicing even if he is still a beginner. If you hold out for a guy who is as at the same level as you, you'll grow old waiting for a partner. The alternative is to dance pro/am.

[lynn]

Neil, I think Vancouver is pretty much in the same situation. However, one big problem is that a lot of the guys aren't willing to invest in the time and money. I know several people who don't mind the after-class practice but many oppose taking private lessons because of the cost involved.

[Kitty]

lynn,
sometimes when a beginner just wants to practice and take group classes and doens't want privates, it is because he/she isn't "hooked up" yet or doesn't believe that much progress is possible...

if they start to practice with someone and see progress in few months they might get hooked up or observe progress, want more progress, and get interested in privates.

btw, how did your try out go?

[VanRand]

I sort of have a similar situation.

I only ever started dancing any kind of dancing eight months ago but I am already totally hooked in partner dancing - mainly salsa and swing (lindy hop & west coast). I dance quite often now and have found myself advancing significantly faster than my friends who brought me into dancing in the first place.

I am university student so I can not afford private lessons (yet) so I am trying to get my lady friends to practice with me outside of the clubs. Unfortunately, the ladies I know and can see myself being partners with are not yet ready to go beyond recreational social dancing at clubs. :(

[lynn]

Do you have any friends who might be interested in ballroom dancing?? :lol: :lol:

I'm in vancouver too but is absolutely in need of a ballroom partner.

I am university student so I can not afford private lessons (yet) so I am trying to get my lady friends to practice with me outside of the clubs. Unfortunately, the ladies I know and can see myself being partners with are not yet ready to go beyond recreational social dancing at clubs.

Hmm, that could be difficult. I would suggest go to salsa classes. All the salsa classes i've been to have tons of ladies who are looking for dance partners.

[Sagitta]

I sort of have a similar situation.

I only ever started dancing any kind of dancing eight months ago but I am already totally hooked in partner dancing - mainly salsa and swing (lindy hop & west coast). I dance quite often now and have found myself advancing significantly faster than my friends who brought me into dancing in the first place.

I am university student so I can not afford private lessons (yet) so I am trying to get my lady friends to practice with me outside of the clubs. Unfortunately, the ladies I know and can see myself being partners with are not yet ready to go beyond recreational social dancing at clubs. :(
WElcoem to df VanRand. It is hard to find a dance partner, I agree. Good luck in your search...

[VanRand]

Do you have any friends who might be interested in ballroom dancing?? :lol: :lol:

Unfortunately no :shock:

Hmm, that could be difficult. I would suggest go to salsa classes. All the salsa classes i've been to have tons of ladies who are looking for dance partners.

I currently take group classes at SFU and am friends with a lot of the ladies there who dance but they are no where as dedicated to learning dance as I am right now. You are right though, maybe I should take other classes *peers at wallet* :)

[Chris Stratton]

I am university student so I can not afford private lessons (yet)

True, but a university campus is probably the best place in the world to try to organize a dance club. Never again will you find such a high density of people in the same age/social group who are impulsive enough to try new things.

[lynn]

VR, most salsa classes i know cost about 10-15 per class. I think they're designed for poor university students in mind :lol: .

[Gumby]

VR - sometimes it just takes time, patience and stubbornness -

I just got my first am partner after nearly six years of increasingly serious pro/am dancing - he's someone I met in a group class when I had only been dancing two months - he spent the next five years telling anyone who would listen that he wasn't into competing - nope, nope, nope - then out of the blue two years ago he does one little comp (just for fun) and he's hooked! So you never know.

Just keep your eyes open and remember to be super nice to everyone in your group clasess and your social dance scene cause a couple of years from now they could end up being that super cool partner you just can't wait to dance with!

Good Luck

[chandra]

Lol... I live in a town where i know every person who dances. All 3 of them. out of 10,000 people... Not exactly connotative to finding partners.
I have pretty much given up on that for now, all though my goals for swing in the future include wanting to a routine in showcase or caberet that is aerial oriented. For now im just working on my following, and styleing untill 2 years from now when I can move. Im going to travel 5 hours to the nearest pro to take privates, and I work for my dance teacher in my home town to take lessons.
Idk, Id progress alot faster if there was more social dancing, and I had a dance partner. Ill do what I can though :)

[MissyK]

THANKS FOR EVERYONE'S ANSWERS!!! I FOUND A PARTNER!!!

We practice 3 times a week about 2-3 hours each time, and we've improved a great deal!!! We go to the same university in Vancouver so we have lots of opportunities to meet!!!

[Katarzyna]

Good luck with it, and congrats

[lynn]

That's wonderful to hear! I'm still on my never-ending search for a partner.....sighs...

[sync]

I live in Vancouver as well and frankly, I"m wondering about the same question. Just about every single class I've been to there are always more ladies than gentlemn. Sometimes the ratio could be as absurd as 1:3.
1:3 - wow. There's another great reason for me to move back to beautiful Vancouver.

[VanRand]

Ditto for me finding a dance partner in VanCity :) I actually found 2 - one for salsa and one for Lindy Hop.

[lynn]

Congrats to you too, VR!!

[lynn]

1:3 - wow. There's another great reason for me to move back to beautiful Vancouver.

:shock: You're from vancouver??!! Guys who can dance are in high demand now - is that enough incentive for you to move back :lol: 8) ??