View Full Version : Quarter life crisis?? anyone??
O.K., I know most people would probably go "huh?" when they first see the subject line but I'm seriously considering the possibility. Lately I've been feeling super irritated at work, eventhough the pile of paperwork on my desk is getting as high as me, I'm still bored and I spend most of my time cruising the Internet (ahem, mostly DF, actually....), pretty soon I'll probably be buried in the mountain of papers... :oops:
One of my co-workers suggested that I might be suffering from quarter life crisis (kind of like early mid-life crisis??) and he gave me some real-life examples. He moved to Canada when he was 25 and many of his girlfriends got married at the same age (is that why the avg age for marriage is around 25-26 :roll: ??) or had major changes in their career. I'm in the middle of job searching (since the first option isn't available to me:lol:) so I guess I kind of fit the description.
So.....bottom line, is anyone who's in the same age group suffering from similar symptoms? Or some words of wisdom for those who had smooth passage through the quarter century celebration?
macha
07-25-2005, 11:21 PM
I wholeheartedly comiserate. I'd go into detail, but I'm being monitored by Rose Dawson's Ghost. :lol:
africana
07-26-2005, 01:00 AM
ME TOO!! Oh my god!! I was so thinking about this issue AGAIN not one hour ago
I think I've been having qtr life crises since I turned 22 (when I graduated from undergrad). I'll be 25 in 3 months and I'm still having that blah-blah feeling about life issues
It's mostly dancing that keeps me feeling, keeps me high on life. I've been working professionally since I was 19, so that could be part of it. the career is probably what I would still pick but it's not seeming to be the all in all, even though I feel reasonably challenged. It doesn't engage me as it used to, like a lot of things though
Most of it ties back to dancing, too much thinking about dancing. I find myself planning future future vacations for the sole purpose of dancing :oops:
At least I still have one milestone/goal to keep me relatively focused for about a another year before I settle down completely. I just hope it won't put me in too much of a rut. I guess I'll have more time to innundate myself with dancing when that time comes
I think quite a few of my aquaintances are going through this too, but most of them deal with it by being "professional" students hah
macha
07-26-2005, 01:05 AM
Is it that gut-clencing sense of hopelessness, as if you've lost control or grasp on your own life and it's pouring through your hands like water? Like you know you're going to wake up fifty someday, and will you still be "here", wherever that is?
I think I've watched Office Space too often lately. That or the heat and combination of things finally "got to me" and addled my fwagile wittle mahnd.
africana
07-26-2005, 01:15 AM
I think I've watched Office Space too often lately. That or the heat and combination of things finally "got to me" and addled my fwagile wittle mahnd. waaahhahaha :lol:
that movie was soooo creepy, particularly after last summer with my first experience working in a cubicle :lol:
yeah pretty much that feeling of seeing and doing so much that nothing seems all that exciting
dnquark
07-26-2005, 02:40 AM
Quarter life crisis here, checking in. Going nowhere in my field with no idea how to switch, etc. Wish I could go back to undergrad and pick a different major... "I wish I could go back to college.."
If you haven't yet seen _Avenue Q_ or listened to the soundtrack - do it now. It's amazing.
Yikes, looks like i'm not the only one who's suffering from the QC syndrome (hmm, i wonder if they have a medical term for it??)
Is it that gut-clencing sense of hopelessness, as if you've lost control or grasp on your own life and it's pouring through your hands like water? Like you know you're going to wake up fifty someday, and will you still be "here", wherever that is?
:applause: Yep, that pretty much sums it up!
Quarter life crisis here, checking in. Going nowhere in my field with no idea how to switch, etc. Wish I could go back to undergrad and pick a different major... "I wish I could go back to college.."
Ditto with the last statement. Don't worry, you can't be in worse place than i am. When I graduated from college, it was the year the stock market crashed and there was no jobs in my field so I ended up doing something that's completely unrelated to my major......now i'm in the middle of job searching b/c my current job offers no growth opportunity.....sighs....
ME TOO!! Oh my god!! I was so thinking about this issue AGAIN not one hour ago
I think I've been having qtr life crises since I turned 22 (when I graduated from undergrad). I'll be 25 in 3 months and I'm still having that blah-blah feeling about life issues
It's mostly dancing that keeps me feeling, keeps me high on life. I've been working professionally since I was 19, so that could be part of it. the career is probably what I would still pick but it's not seeming to be the all in all, even though I feel reasonably challenged. It doesn't engage me as it used to, like a lot of things though
Most of it ties back to dancing, too much thinking about dancing. I find myself planning future future vacations for the sole purpose of dancing :oops:
At least I still have one milestone/goal to keep me relatively focused for about a another year before I settle down completely. I just hope it won't put me in too much of a rut. I guess I'll have more time to innundate myself with dancing when that time comes
I think quite a few of my aquaintances are going through this too, but most of them deal with it by being "professional" students hah
Look on the bright side, at least you're only 24, i'm turning 26 next week and I'm still nowhere resolving the problem (hmm, i wonder if everything will be better when i find a more satisfying job :roll: ??)
As for dancing, that's kind of the side-effect of my quarter life crisis. I was feeling so unnerving and irritated a couple of months ago, i decided to checkout every available studio in the area and voila, here i am!
Anyways, i gotta go back and stare at the empty office space.....hmm, wonder if it helps if i paint my 4 walls red??
Yep, 25 here and I think I am also going thru the quarter-life crisis (granted, I'll be very happy if I live to 100.....).
Actually I think I have been going thru crises since teenagerhood but they have morphed a bit. This is the first time that I am feeling totally "blah" about school/work. Not sure where I'll go when I am done, but it is not going to be what I am "studying for" (scientific bench research).
Know when someone says something to you, about you, and you can feel at that moment that it will change you? A few months ago a friend said, "Leah, you have just got to learn to go with the flow," and I have been working on it - with some success - ever since. (A little birdie echoed the thought over the weekend, and it helps to be reminded ;)). I don't claim to have all the answers, but I think one of them is the ability to laugh at oneself, and to move forward fearlessly.
Along these lines, I just read the book "who moved my cheese." Anyone read it? It is about addressing change. It didn't resonate for me as the introduction had promised it would, but I can see how that the book could offer some useful insights.
PS - Is the average age for marriage really 25/26??
Leah, is it "who moved my cheese" or "who stole my cheese"?? I didn't read the book but one of my friend sent me a powerpoint slide summarizing the point (yes, I'm THAT lazy). I guess I'll have to go back and dig it out of my archived emails....
Know when someone says something to you, about you, and you can feel at that moment that it will change you? A few months ago a friend said, "Leah, you have just got to learn to go with the flow," and I have been working on it - with some success - ever since. (A little birdie echoed the thought over the weekend, and it helps to be reminded ). I don't claim to have all the answers, but I think one of them is the ability to laugh at oneself, and to move forward fearlessly.
I agree whole heartedly except I'm still learning to take criticisms (esp negative ones) without getting defensive. I think when we survive the QC, that's when we truly become more mature and confident with ourselves. But boy, talk about growing pains....
africana
07-26-2005, 11:34 AM
I'm not sure QC has much to do with being immature, to an extent it's a feeling of not having much *motivated* direction, a kind of restlessness rather than growing pains. for me in particular is mostly about not having much else to strive for
I feel like I've been mature since my preteens. I couldn't stand people my age back in high school, that bit hasn't changed much....
Well maybe I'll move to Canada next year year lol
I agree whole heartedly except I'm still learning to take criticisms (esp negative ones) without getting defensive. I think when we survive the QC, that's when we truly become more mature and confident with ourselves. But boy, talk about growing pains....
jeeze, do i hear you on that one.
i still can't take criticism either. this is especially hard when you are your own worst critic. and with society's values and expectations being what they are, and with people (not least of all the american media) detailing how inadequate your life is, it take courage to determine for yourself what matters, to work towards that, and to forgive yourself of your minor sins.
i am hoping it gets easier from here.
ps - it is "who moved my cheese..." about mice and littlepeople who find their cheese and get all complacent eating it in the maze, until the cheese gets moved. the mice simply run back out into the maze and look for more, while the people feel entitled and fearful and overanalyze the situation and sit paralyzed in fear before addressing change.
Hmm, sounds like i should pick up a copy of "who moved my cheese"....after I finish the latest HP series, of course!
etchuck
07-26-2005, 03:24 PM
Sorry, but I'm a third-lifer. As for crisis... well, I guess it depends.
I will admit though, life does get better after 30, single or not.
Sorry, but I'm a third-lifer. As for crisis... well, I guess it depends.
I will admit though, life does get better after 30, single or not.
Wow, soemthing to look forward to!
Sagitta
07-26-2005, 06:20 PM
Quarter life crisis here, checking in. Going nowhere in my field with no idea how to switch, etc. Wish I could go back to undergrad and pick a different major... "I wish I could go back to college.."
If you haven't yet seen _Avenue Q_ or listened to the soundtrack - do it now. It's amazing.
It never is too late. I have reda stories about people doing career changes in their 40s and 50s.
dancin_feet
07-26-2005, 07:40 PM
I've done the quarter life crisis. I went on a trip overseas when I was 23 and at 24 I decided to throw in the towel on my secretarial work and started studying in IT.
Also had the turning-30 crisis as well when I left my "work you to the bone, all hours" job for another, and started my dancing again.
Wonder what one is next ....... ? :lol:
Maybe i'm having the turning-30 crisis instead of QLC....afterall, i'll be saying goodbye to being 25 in a couple of days.....
Shooshoo
07-27-2005, 05:31 AM
Not sure if it has anything to do with age. I've had life crisises at 14, 18, 24, 30 and now at 35. For me, it's related when I have to make major decisions which would affect my life course. And until now I question myself whether this is what I want to do in life, what's the purpose of me, whether I should be living here or there, etc. and it just goes on.
I think some people choose not think about issues deeply and others can't help it.
I think it's fine to goes through this, cause it's important to stop and think instead of getting carried away in a course which might not fit you.
So I don't think it'll stop with AGE!!! (if you dig deeper, it'll get worse..)
One of my co-workers suggested that I might be suffering from quarter life crisis
Just as long as you don't run out and buy a red convertible and get an 18-year old blond boy to hang on your arm.
pygmalion
07-27-2005, 07:35 AM
I make it my practice to have a major crisis once a decade. 8) :lol: No, I'm actually not kidding. I think of it more as a life checkup and opportunity for breakthrough.
I'll come back and read the whole thread so I can reply fully later this evening. 8) :)
One of my co-workers suggested that I might be suffering from quarter life crisis
Just as long as you don't run out and buy a red convertible and get an 18-year old blond boy to hang on your arm.
Eek, the red convertible was the after-college crisis - i wanted a sports car sooooo badly! I even went to the dealer and picked out the car, then my good sense finally kicked in the last second (o.k., fine, my mom won't let me buy a convertible!) so that's the end of that
As for the 18 year old blond boy.....yikes, that's what my co-worker warned me too, good thing i don't know anyone 18...everyone i know is pretty much above the lega age...whew!!
I make it my practice to have a major crisis once a decade. 8) :lol: No, I'm actually not kidding. I think of it more as a life checkup and opportunity for breakthrough.
I'll come back and read the whole thread so I can reply fully later this evening. 8) :)
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
O.K., now, that's real brave!
brujo
07-27-2005, 11:25 AM
From the interweb
They call it the "Quarter-Life Crisis"
It is when you stop going along with the crowd & start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know & may not like. You start feeling insecure & wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish & that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, & the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don`t recognize is that they are realizing that too & aren`t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... & it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job & realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom & that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing & find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life & are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable & what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure & then the next, secure. You laugh & cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone & scared & confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy & you try & cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further & further away, & there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken & wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed & wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too & cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren`t a bad person. One night stands & random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted & acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions & questions over & over, & talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future & making a life for yourself... & while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a CONTENDER!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times & our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Katarzyna
07-27-2005, 11:31 AM
good read...
True, so easy to relate to most of the stuff there.. (23 so about quarter life for me)...
brujo, that hits right at home
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Mind if i still this sentence and put it in my signature?
setsuna713
07-27-2005, 12:41 PM
I'm just getting ready for my "real world" crisis of graduating from from college, so you're all telling me I have another one in a couple of years to look forward to?!? :?
brujo
07-27-2005, 12:52 PM
Not only would you have one more crisis. You will have many. But if you get ready for them, you'll be able to overcome and embrace them.
Read the book 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways', by Susan Jeffers. That book absolutely rocks
Katarzyna
07-27-2005, 12:52 PM
I'm just getting ready for my "real world" crisis of graduating from from college, so you're all telling me I have another one in a couple of years to look forward to?!? :?
I think the "real world" crisis is an early stage of "quarter-life" crisis
Sagitta
07-27-2005, 12:52 PM
I'm just getting ready for my "real world" crisis of graduating from from college, so you're all telling me I have another one in a couple of years to look forward to?!? :? I've only had one so far Michelle...and I'm in my late 20's. :wink: 8)
brujo
07-27-2005, 12:52 PM
brujo, that hits right at home
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
Mind if i still this sentence and put it in my signature?
It's not mine, it's the Interweb's! :wink:
macha
07-27-2005, 01:06 PM
We need a DF Quotes thread now, LOL. Might turn into a book deal someday, you never know! :D
standardgirl
07-27-2005, 01:13 PM
gosh....you know how depressed I have been feeling lately?
not just dancing, but also my career, friendship, love, and future.
it's like everything hits me altogether, and I just can't handle it anymore!
That article...WOW, I can so relate!
At least, I feel better now.
Took 2 days off from dancing, and just worked our crazy in the gym.
I sweat, but I had fun.
and guess what!?
We had a picnic today at work, and when they started the music, I was moving my body to it again! Finally! I want to dance again! :D
now, I am hoping that our practice tonight will be better. :D
standardgirl, that's how i feel lately. I'm taking a week off dancing b/c i just feel so depressed lately. I've probably hit rock bottom and have been super unproductive for the past week (thus the constant cruising on DF)..... the article is quite encouraging...at least now i know i'm not just the only one suffering from some unknown symptoms! I guess it's kind of a rite of passage we all go through..
standardgirl
07-27-2005, 01:45 PM
lynn, yes, the article makes me feel much better because now I know I am not alone.
Some people told me, this is just part of the process of growing up...... :wink:
Much like growing pains....and i thought i was done with that when i had smooth sailings through my teenage years...sighs.....
Too bad i won't be experiencing any growht spurts height -wise!
gte692h
07-27-2005, 03:01 PM
count me in folks, i'm 24, and going through the same. for me, its been a tough transition. i graduated college at 21, and went to grad school and the madness began ;) so now all this uncertainty, doubt, frustration at where my life is, etc.. has been tormenting me for atleast 3 years.. I think this torment comes with thinking independently.
I just decided to find out what really makes me happy and content - what do i want my life to be about ? and then i decided to pursue doing those things. so now, i am a lot happier because i do the things that make me happy - and i do them now. this is it - i'm living my life doing everything i want. salsa, playing drums, being with good friends, women, spirituality, and productive work. (not in any particular order ;)) this is really it - this is my life. if i can't enjoy it now, i don't think i'll be enjoying it in the future, when i have my dream job, dream life, etc..
there is a lot in my life that's not where it should be, and it leads to a lot of pain and struggle. but i'm working on that.. its one of those things that is going to take time. until then, i just have to make the experience as happy as i possibly can.
so don't worry guys, you are not alone. i'm going through the same.
ps - brujo, nice article..
tacad
07-27-2005, 03:31 PM
So no one told you life was gonna be this way...
Hmmm.
pygmalion
07-27-2005, 06:25 PM
I make it my practice to have a major crisis once a decade. 8) :lol: No, I'm actually not kidding. I think of it more as a life checkup and opportunity for breakthrough.
I'll come back and read the whole thread so I can reply fully later this evening. 8) :)
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
O.K., now, that's real brave!
Not really. The only other option is to wish I had been brave, and option two feels REALLY bad. I've tried it. So yes. When I feel change calling me, these days, I try to step up to the challenge. It's uncomfortable as all-get-out while you're going through it. But you're glad later... at least in my experience. 8)
pygmalion
07-27-2005, 06:26 PM
From the interweb
They call it the "Quarter-Life Crisis"
Beautiful quote, brujo, wherever it came from. :D
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