New dancer & stressed out!

[New in NY]

Hi Saraht. I began dancing just two years ago at exactly your age and I am so glad I did. The other members have given you some great advice and perspective above. You mentioned in your original post that you forget your steps when you get home. It might be helpful if you wrote down the steps right after your lesson, or ask the instructor if you may videotape the lesson or review of steps so you can reference these when you practice at home. The time you spend practicing will definitely impact how quickly you progress. Good luck and enjoy!

[newbie]

It's ok, your bf is not expecting that you reach the level of his best partners, he knows better than anybody how difficult it is and how long it takes.
Keep doing what you do, you may feel after this or that class that you've not made any progress but in six months and looking back at your present level you'll say "Hey I am such a better dancer now!". It's guaranteed.

[dbk]

(1)
Everyone feels that way when they start. It won't feel natural until you repeat it a million times, to make it muscle memory. Practice, practice, practice the basics, because every step is based on the basics. The basic steps are the most important thing to work on. Don't worry about fancy steps just yet.

To help you remember, have your coach review everything you did in the lesson at the end. Get a notebook and write down everything you learned immediately after a lesson.

You will feel a little like an elephant until you learn how to control your balance and your core while dancing. If you go up to your coach and ask to work on that, s/he will probably be ecstatic. Yoga is great for this

(2)
Like I think someone else said, dance with other experienced dancers. Have fun. You'll understand that other girls aren't interested in your boyfriend any more than you're interested in your dance partner. Also, you need to realize that even if they're interested, your boyfriend is interested in you.

The way I think about it (my boyfriend dances as well) is that I love to see him having fun. I love dancing with him, but I also love *watching* him dance, and I can't exactly watch when I'm right up next to him. Relax! He's allowed to have fun with other people. Try to feel proud of him when you watch him, instead of jealous. (Also, take the opportunity to check out his bum! :P)

[RickRS]

I like that suggestion that you get involve in beginner group classes. It does help to see that others are struggling with the same issues while learning and what better way than in a roomful of people that are at the same place you are?

We all struggle at the start, but if this is what you want to do, and you stick with it, you ARE going to get better.

And don't let your weight be a factor. There will be a lot of stories about people losing weight after taking up dancing, as if weight loss had to do with their success. And that's great if it happens. I dance in a West Coast Swing community and one of the top dancers in the group is a 40'ish lady that is carrying a few extra pounds. She's killer on the dance floor. Has to do with some years of lessons and experience, something you yourself can also get over time.

[Ecclesiastes3_4]

Regarding jealousy, people (in my experience, at least) go social dancing to dance, not to find a date. Most of the women your boyfriend is dancing with probably have boyfriends/husbands themselves. Last year I regularly danced with a guy who I knew full well was engaged to a lady in our class.

Also remember that more than your skill level, your boyfriend probably appreciates your willingness to learn something that's important to him. And regarding being out of shape, don't worry about it. I have danced with people of all shapes and sizes, and dancing is a great way to get in shape.