Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by SPratt74, Aug 5, 2006.
Oh haha... it took me a bit, but I get what you are saying now lol.
We are social dancers and we took private lessons for over 5 years because it is in our opinion the best way to learn ballroom dancing. A lot of dancers, who do not compete, still want to progress and dance correctly.
Most of the social dancers we know, take lessons and practise to improve their dancing. Part out of personal pride and part because you know if you want to dance, sometimes you are going to have a lot of people watching you and you might as well dance well. We also like the challenge of doing more difficult manuevers and techniques. As we have progressed, dancing keeps getting to be more fun. At first if conditions were perfect it was fun, now it is fun in terible conditions, like swing dancing on blacktop to Voodoo Daddy and 2 other lesser groups at Bastille days last month in hot and humid weather.
I never care who's watching me or whether anybody's watching me. All I care about when I'm dancing is my partner. So I try to improve my dancing so that dancing with me will be a better, more enjoyable experience for my partners.
I started dancing because I had always wanted to and finally found a friend(another girl) who would do it with me so I didn't have to go alone. If I meet a guy eventually who dances and I like him, great. Personally, until the right guy comes along I'd much rather dance with my instructor. If I could afford it I'd take lessons every day, because dancing with him makes me a better dancer and he leads way better than any man I've met at a social dance. Anyway, I hate it when guys come dancing to meet girls and then get all irritated because its either all older women or women like me who aren't going to date a guy just because he can dance. I lost a guy friend who came to the dances regularly because I finally got it thru his head that I was NOT interested in him that way and just wanted to dance. He complained about how there were no single women there and I was finally like, "look here...I came to dance. I could care less if its with a 60 year old man or a 20 year old man! So stop complaining about there not being any women. What did you expect? Its BALLROOM dancing, not a bar or a club." When he finally understood, he left and never came back. Good riddance, I say. All he could do was complain about how there was no one good enough to dance with and how he came away from dances smelling like oil of olay(hey, my mom used to wear that..i kinda LIKE the smell of it). Wooh, you will know who I mean if you are reading this.
I can see why being hit on when you are not interested isn't pleasant, and if a guy won't take the hint and back off, he definitely needs to be made to understand the message. And not wanting to be a receptacle for his whining is also very understandable.
That said, I don't see why it is wrong for a guy to expect to meet single girls in a ballroom. So I think it's okay to complain. I've always complained that there aren't enough girls in engineering in school or work. Of course, it is SCHOOL and WORK and not a bar or a club, where the primary business is not about chasing mates, but that doesn't make my point less valid. Neither does my complaint make me any less suitable for school, work or ballroom. Single poeple are looking, whereever they are. If you are in ballroom, you look in ballroom.
I really don't think any activity should be pursued for the reason of meeting a potential mate. Pursue the activity because you want to pursue the activity. If I take up pottery to meet a guy, and meet a pottery loving guy, that's false advertising when he finds out I don't actually like pottery, I just heard it was a great place to meet men.
But isn't this every guys worst nightmare about social dancing?
WELCOME to DF
It depends on where you go to social dance. If you go to a club than no, but if you go to a Ballroom Studio, then yes... maybe depending on the girl and her reasons for being there.
I think that's true only if you already -know- you don't like pottery. You have no idea whether you like pottery or not before you try it. Its not false advertising, its just being open minded and trying out new things (and some of those are probably not going to work for you!)
One of the first things I was asked at one of the dance socials , about 2 months after I started dancing was why I started dancing , the girl that asked me continued to give me about 4 options as to why she thinks men join dancing and , I guess was interested as to why I am there..
any way the question kind of went like this ,
There are 4 only reasons why men learn to dance
1) your gay
2)Your Girlfriend made you
3) to Pick up chicks
4) you really actually want to learn to dance
Now I was quite ummm struck by this question , so I answered it truthfully , I joined simply to meet Women.
Whats wrong with that?
any way I stayed at dancing becuase I quickly grew to love it and the social aspect of i t is great.
well, number 4 is probably better stated as
4) you really actually want to learn to dance to be able to better meet women
Yep, 1-4 with the modified 4 pretty wells sums it up. No 1 genes in me. However, started with 2 as something to do together. That didn't work out, but the modified 4 is right on the money. Once a guys survives beginners hell and is no longer a nervous wreck on the floor, 3 is so much easier
glad to see I am not alone one this one hehe
Well, after reading all of the interesting replies on this thread, I can safely say that you are not alone lol.
I don't think its wrong to join to meet women if it ends up that you love it and stay for that reason. But this person I was talking about in my post earlier on was constantly disgusted with the fact that there were not very many single women there and complained constantly about having to dance with married or older women. And then QUIT dancing because he wasn't meeting any new single women. But if you love to dance, while waiting to meet a single woman, isn't dancing with older (or married) yet more experienced dancers a good thing? Just my opinion of course.
Oh, and thanks for the welcome, Fascination.
Wooh and I dance at the same studios around town and we have seen it happen ALOT unfortunately.
You're right,of course. My earlier college/work analogy implied that you must be doing whatever it is that you are doing for its own sake. But wanting to meet women in your life if you are single and looking is a legitimate desire. You are absolutely right in saying that he shouldn't be a whiner and assume that the benefit of dancing is the finding of a mate. His departure sounds like good riddance of bad rubbish...
I don't see anything wrong with the idea of taking up dance as a way of meeting ladies. I started dancing last November after walking through Blockbuster and picking up Shall We Dance? and Dance With Me. I started taking lessons not long after that because it is something I had always wanted to do, but had never gotten around to it. Now, I'm at the studio 4-6 nights a week and it isn't just to meet women. I truly like to dance and wish I had started years ago.
Be that as it may, I am a single guy, not in a relationship with anyone at the moment, and would be completely open to meeting a nice, dancing lady on the dance floor. I mean, where else would I go to meet ladies? A bar? Do I really want to meet my future sweetheart in a bar? Not a chance.
If I'm looking for a future companion, and I like to dance, what better place to meet someone than on the dance floor. Granted, I'm not one of those guys you see at the studios or clubs that is trying to pick up on every single (and some married) woman they come across. Those guys are the butt of many jokes among my friends and myself. There are even a couple of women at the dances that have standing orders with me and a couple of other guys, that if we see them get snagged by one of these Don Juans for more than one song, we're to make sure that we are there when the second song ends and claim that it's our turn. Life is tough when you're expected to be a knight in shining armor and the dragon is five inches taller than you and looks like a middle linebacker for the Giants.
But, I digress. I'd rather meet my future sweetheart on the dance floor than anywhere else. 'nuff said.
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