Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by California, Jun 15, 2007.
My man doesn't dance either, he doesn't really intend on learning but he doesn't shy away from getting up on the floor and doing his own thing either. I say choose your battles wisely! It is a good thing for couples to have different interests. -Sometimes you want to just do things on your own. And if he is ok w/ you dancing w/ other men, even if it is a Pro partner, you are ahead of the game. As long as he supports your "habit" and doesn't try to take dancing away from you be happy! He may come around on his own- if he doesn't I wouldn't push it because then if he tried to start dancing and it was all peaches you would regret it.. Just my thoughts...
I see you are beginning to understand me
I agree...my makes a minimal attempt...but is content to put up with my mania...and that is wonderful...just like I try to enjoy the museum of natural history...and once in a while we both learn something...but when we don't, it's all good
It's quite simple, really, the SO business. They should either start dancing as well, approve and observe us or get out of our way.
I'm inclined to agree with you. It's what I told DH when I started--I'll going to learn to dance. I'd love it if you learned, because I want to dance with you more than anyone else. But, I'm going regardless. You can either go with me, or deal with me dancing with other guys. ... He pays for my lessons...have I mentioned that I love my man?
However...the workings of every relationship are different, and some people would not be OK with their SO dancing with others. And, some people's relationships or morals or ethics or whatever you want to call it, feel it's better to respect that. (Than just say the other has to learn to deal.) IMHO, it's about compromise and finding the middle ground in each relationship.
But...yeah...DH was one of the SO's who had to deal. But that's just us...
I wasn't aware that was possible!
I started dancing very reluctantly and as a favor to the girl I was dating. We went to the monthly dances our college had and eventually took a class, though I hated both. When we broke up I figured I was done with dancing, but then a friend I had a crush on invited me to come to a swing dance with her. At the dance, with the opportunity to dance with women other than my ex, I discovered I really enjoyed dancing and have been charging ahead full steam ever since. That was nearly three years ago, and I'm starting instructor training this Monday.
OK, you've received a lot of the "positive side," so let me play devil's advocate, and give you the "negative side" - if that's what it really is!
Because I have the patience for it, most of my students are basically brand new to dance, mostly a couple with the male having two left feet. Some get it quickly, others are taking a long time. And they hate the music that I have them listen too . . . "rap" because it quickens the learning of the beat! It works!
Let me give four examples of couples that I know of where the male was not a dancer:
1. A couple married for years . . . she competed, he did not want to dance, yet he attended every event with her. He watched her compete, and have hours of fun social dancing. He took pictures and played "gopher" all the time. He had to eat the "light" stuff that she ate while competing. The latest? He recently gave her an ultimatum . . . "quit dancing or else!" I personally do not know what the "or else" is. I suspect a divorce is in the making. I don't she she can live with an ultimatum, nor quit dance.
2. Another couple, similar to above . . . he watched, she danced. Because he quit supporting her at competitions or go to socials, she gave up dancing. Oh, he was a pastor at a local small church! Duh, you knew he would be convincing enough to make her quit, yet he allowed it for years!
3. This couple, similar to the two above . . . they just recently divorced. She is dating a guy 14 years younger than her.
4. The final couple . . . well, she competed, he watched. He began to dance. He got very serious . . . he competes in the ballroom circuit now, and his favorite dance is the Tango - not bad from a guy that started competing in a C&W venue. She now watches him compete.
Just adding my 2(ents!
I personally wouldnt chance it (if you arent in that position already)...
I sit out dances as it is because I dont have a partner...if a guy(a potential date) cant help me out dance-wise then he really isnt much help. Unless you can get him to sign something pre-marriage, stating that he understands dance is a big part of your life, he is ok with that, and he will help finance it and be your personal cheering section if not your partner. And then maybe even add in there a clause where if he one day no longer agrees to do the above-mentioned things, that he will pay a large sum of money to you in the divorce settlement!
Not romatic, I know. But I do great without a guy and love dancing. So to me either he can be a part of my dancing in some way, or I'm not going to bother with him in my life. I sure as H-E-double hockey-sticks would not give up dancing for a guy.
If you are already married please disregard above post as I'm sure it will offend you in some way. Just my single/unattached point of view, fwiw.
You're right. I apologize.
What else can you do? It is our passions, not theirs and that is OK.. Or should be in any good relationship anyway~
But then again I am a bit sad because we are going to a wedding soon and will not be able to really dance to the extent I want.. But we will find our own fun I am sure!
aw...just teasin' you
no idea WHAT you mean
Initially my boyfriend refused to dance. Just after we started dating I made him a promise that I would get him one day. Sure enough now he wants to learn how to dance.
I'm curious why the OP seems to have disappeared. It is cynical of me to have noticed that the OP posted 3 times with an ad in her signature, and 2 of the posts were about the exact same thing? And then she disappeared and didn't follow up on any of the answers or advice provided? I'm suspicious.
I was suspicious before, but I was giving her the benefit of the doubt and hoping she would resurface to continue the discussion. Hmmm.
it seemed clear to me that she was posting to gleen potential business for her signature endeavor... despite the discussion she may have launched.
Would have been nice if she had come back to join the discussion. Otherwise, isn't this spam and in violation of the DF rules?
yes....but we do try to give folks the benefit of the doubt... for a while
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