General Dance Discussion > Anyone married to or dating someone that does not like to dance?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by California, Jun 15, 2007.

  1. elisedance

    elisedance New Member

    Since we are on the subject (er, or to be more accurate, since we are off it!!) is it better to have a partner to whom one is NOT emotionally attached? I suppose there is a thread that has dealt with this before but no harm in revisiting. There are really two separate issues (at least):

    1. Is it more practical so that relationship issues do not interefere with dance partnership ones - or vice versa that relationship issues help overcome practicalities of dancing together; and

    2. Do we dance better with a non-involved partner (by that I mean nothing goin' on relationship wise, not necessarily emotionally - I see one could easily get into deep water here!). After all, dance is many things including stylised romance (etc ;) ) so some emotional link seems essential.
     
  2. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    by not emotionally attached, you mean no romantic involvement between the two?
     
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    we have some threads on this FWIW...an interesting Q...lots of nuances and sometimes things change:rolleyes:
     
  4. elisedance

    elisedance New Member

    Yes, it was a bit ambigious wasn't it. English seems a bit tricky in this area. I think you put it better: where you dance together but leave for separate destinations! I suppose there are partnerships where its all just practical but how can one spend hours in someone's arms moving to beautiful music without anything happening? Come to think of it, I have seen partnerships like that - each person running through their routine as if oblivious of the human in their arms (or at the end thereof, as in latin).
     
  5. Tigerlilly

    Tigerlilly New Member

    I definitely agree with elegance and Laura. If dancing is a casual interest or if you're dancing pro-am, it's workable. Competitive dancing with an amateur partner can be really, really tough on relationships in which one party doesn't dance.

    When I first started ballroom, my then boyfriend had no interest in dancing but also had no problem with my pursuing it. As my interest grew, and I gained a partner and started competing, the problems began. He was a lovely person and tried very hard to be supportive of my dancing, but the situation became increasingly stressful and precipitated the demise of our relationship.

    In the end, he felt sad, unhappy, and jealous that he wasn't part of something (dancing) that greatly interested me and made me happy but that others, namely my dance partner, were. (My boyfriend and I tried dancing together, but he never really enjoyed it. I think he did it to please me, which was sweet but ended up being counterproductive, since he came to resent it.) It was tough for him to see me go to practices and competitions with my dance partner, and he felt threatened by him despite my reassurances. After a while, I couldn't talk to him about anything dance related - the tension and stress were too much. I don't blame him. If I were in his position, I'm sure it'd be incredibly hard for me as well.

    For myself personally, at this point, I would not date a non-dancer or someone with no dance interest. If I did, I think I'd have to be prepared to give up ballroom to a large extent or instead dance pro-am, which I imagine might be less stressful on a relationship... Every relationship is, of course, different, but just my experience...
     
  6. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    I'm not as involved with dancing as some other folks here (i.e. I don't compete) but I have to agree. Just seems to me that if either partner has an interest which is highly time-consuming and the other person doesn't share it, there's bound to be some tension, whether it's dancing, sports, or anything else.

    Of course, partner dancing as a hobby adds a whole other dimension because it's an activity that requires you to have constant physical contact with the opposite sex. Even the most patient s/o could start feeling jealous, couldn't they?

    If nothing else, isn't it good to have shared interests with your significant other? I think it's the sweetest thing to see a longtime couple on a dance floor together. They hold each other with a warmth, ease, comfort and familiarity that is uniquely romantic.
     
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    this is the really relevant point IMO...all relationships are different....I can tell you that I spend more hours a week w/ my pro than most am.s spend with their partners....and it is often very stressful...so, it just varies....
     
  8. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Yes.

    1. Yes

    2. Yes.

    YMMV, but overall--yeah, walk away at the end of the day. On the one hand, I can't see dating a non-dancer simply because they wouldn't get it--but being involved with them AND competing with them and therefore practicing with them on a daily basis? Uh-uh. That would just be bad.
     
  9. MMAnotDance

    MMAnotDance New Member

    Oh my god, this brings up my problem! i cant dance never danced and ya..*** -.- and teh last dance ive been to was in 6th grade, where we played TAG because it was dark.. and now i just got into a relationship with someone, shes probably went to all the dances, and like one of teh last few she asked em to go..sorta not really. and we're going to be juniors now! prom homecoming all that should start to get important rite? :p but i dunno hwo to dance and shes probably pretty good at taht kinda stuff... and since shes my gf, id probably go to the dances with her rite? :banana: booya. but i dont know how to dance! :evil: Argahatharth i`ll be ok with her dancing with other guys, but since this is HS .. shell probably wanan grind or wahtever the hell and ive read all the threads, even the 50 paged one fenix started, and tehn the ones from the dancing index thing... and...imm basically at where i started lol this is lame... and as you can see my name says MMA not dance! :(
     
  10. waltzgirl

    waltzgirl Active Member


    If you have a few dollars and a little time before your dance, you might want to check out this DVD:

    http://www.amazon.com/Nightclub-Dan...910?ie=UTF8&n=130&s=dvd&qid=1180655271&sr=1-2

    I haven't seen it, but it sounds like it would help. It's for club dancing, so you might have to tone down some of the moves to pass your high school chaperones.

    Have fun!
     
  11. MMAnotDance

    MMAnotDance New Member

    ya a guy mention these series in one of the threads... but i dont know ... thanks for that though!

    i was watching teh cha cah slide by dj casper though lol
     
  12. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Might also wanna lay off the booze before you start typing.
     
  13. kittydanzer

    kittydanzer New Member

    A good guy that you click with is worth way more than an 'ok' guy that dances. Take it from me... dance breaks up more marriages and relationships than it makes. It is so ridiculously EASY to get frustrated with a loved one that you dance with. I honestly believe the reason for my success as an instructor is because I'm a good marriage counselor too...

    But in all my years, the rarity is a guy that doesn't dance, but also doesn't mind when you dance with others. THAT is a huge GEM of a man!!!

    Stick with him!!!

    (ps- I, by the way, married another dance instructor... we have a fantastic marriage... but dancing together for us is more like 'working,' than it is 'enjoying each other.' But that, of course, is because we teach...)
     
  14. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    Gotta be the first time I've seen "booya" typed on the forums in the 3 years I've been here.
     
  15. Laura

    Laura New Member

    I tried, but he didn't want to stay with me! (Funny how I can practically laugh about this now.)
     
  16. MMAnotDance

    MMAnotDance New Member

    I think me and my firends will come up with some whacky dance moves for the dances like from the movie grind and the cha cha slide, that way we can be losers that dont know how to dance but ppl will atleast be laughing with us. lol

    btw i dont know how long ill linger here.. because majority of this forum is partner dance, needless to say dancing.. but if there were more random threads like this!
     
  17. Laura

    Laura New Member

    Hey, go random! Start a new thread about making up your moves or where you get your moves from, and maybe people will join in. Not everyone here partner dances all the time.
     
  18. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    lol... what does that mean, anyway...????
     
  19. Beto

    Beto Active Member

    The term's been around, I think, since at least the early 90's.

    I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and the best definition given (by user voting)

    1.booya

    It means basically, "bam!", "in your face", and "hell yeah", all at the same time. A term that self congradulates the user, describes excitement, lets others know the magnificence of the celebration or rouse as well as the superiority of the user, and is used as an exclamation of those ideas.
    When you play a particular trick on someone or beat someone at a game, or prove your superiority to others

    "How you like them apples!" "Booya!"
     
  20. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    ::trying word on for size::

    nah, doesn't fit...
     

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