Dancers Anonymous > "Application for a night out with the boys"

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by Pacion, Sep 23, 2004.

  1. Pacion

    Pacion New Member


    Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:______________________

    I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

    Date: _______________
    Time of departure: ___________ Time of return: ______________ NOT to exceed: ________________

    Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
    locations stated below, at the stated times.
    I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not
    even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing
    below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume
    above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND
    calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand
    that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife
    retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid
    reason whatsoever.

    Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
    Beer: _______ Wine: _______ Liquor: _______ Total: _______

    Locations to be visited:
    Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
    Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________
    Location:____________________________ From:______________ To:____________

    Females with whom conversation is permitted: ____________________________

    IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact
    permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred
    (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause
    shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

    I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our
    relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules &
    regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in
    chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit
    cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an
    unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time.
    On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I
    conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I
    promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will
    refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and
    attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

    I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none
    compared to my BETTER half), the above information is
    Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ________________________________

    [OFFICIAL USE ONLY: To be completed by the Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife
    Request is: APPROVED _______ DENIED ________

    This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below (along the dotted line) and carry at all times.

    OFFICIAL USE ONLY: To be completed by the Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife

    Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

    Date: _____________ Time of departure: _____________ Time of return: _____________

    Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: __________________________

    :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol: :twisted: :lol:
  2. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    bla bla bla..
  3. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. ROTF, LMAO!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Now, THAT is too funny, Pacion! I'm using this for future reference. :lol: :lol: :lol:
  4. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
  5. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

  6. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    :shock: Now I know that I'm not marrying you!! :car:
  7. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    I'm not signing that . . . so, can I just have a night out with the "girls" instead???
  8. NeoDevin

    NeoDevin New Member

    Ain't the single life grand?
  9. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    :lol: Other than Vince, why is it that it is the girls having the most fun with this :twisted: :lol:

    Sabor honey, remember to carry your slip with you.

    You don't want to find out what the 'punishment' would be if you didn't :eyebrow: :tongue: :lol:
  10. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    I'm with Sabor, this stinks! :lol:

    Honestly, I wouldn't need one of these, I don't drink, don't flirt with other women if I'm dating someone, and I've never been to a strip/exotic dance show!

    See, this is all superficial if you ask me...women have to accept if they get men who can't follow this kind of inquisition...whoops I mean form. The guys like me who actually are genuine are not the ones most women will go for! :roll:

    They're missing out I say, so for all of you trying to have your cake and eat it too, phooey on the lot of you! :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:

  11. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    Since when and what crazy woman told you that?!? :eyebrow:

    Alright, don't make us come Canada and Egypt you two!.... :p :raisebro: :ladiesma: :lol:
  12. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    Canada? Going after NeoDevin there Peach? He's a big on the younger side but already a gigolo I hear. :lol:

    Just about every woman I've met or asked out, sadly. They always go for the jerks, commitment-fearful and abusive types...a true gentleman possesses patience of the infinite variety...:oops:

  13. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    :oops: Uh oh SG, thought you were in Canada for some reason.

    Well, I guess some women get what they ask for. :? Why would anyone want a jerk who provides that kind of chaos, I just don't know. *shrug*
  14. NeoDevin

    NeoDevin New Member

    I'm all for people coming to visit me, you're definately welcome if you want :wink: :raisebro:
  15. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    :idea: Making mental note to pick up Neo on the way to SGs house after arriving from Egypt......Also, bring chaperone....

    :lol: :lol: :p
  16. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    A chaperone would definitely be needed with that crew! May I suggest moi? :wink: :)
  17. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    That's a heck of a lot of travel time, and if you pick up Neo then I'm staying home! :eyebrow:

    Yes, you will need to bring a chaperone, since I will need a date too! :lol: :raisebro:

  18. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: SG and Sagitta.

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