Ballroom Dance > Arthur Murray, Leading, Big Self Questions!

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by dgarstang, Jan 28, 2012.

  1. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    I have to add that depending on how serious the student is into the competition and how much they actually know what is going on, they may not even be aware that they were in uncontested events. I've known several people who's competed for years who trust their pro to take care of everything and just go onto the floor to dance. It's not until I explained to them how single dance or multi-dance or scholarship works that they fully understood what the differences were.
  2. nikkitta

    nikkitta Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I learned very quickly that those bragging that they placed first in all their Pro-Am dances usually didn't have much to brag about. Tell me how many other couples you defeated before waving that blue ribbon around.
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    that is, of course true of all dancers, not just pro/am....lots of folks out there inflating things :)
  4. TinyDancer109

    TinyDancer109 Well-Known Member

    So true. I remember when I started dancing and the manager at my franchise studio told me his teachers were the National RS rhythm champions and National Open finalists. I was so impressed. Later I found out that he neglected to mention they were FADS national rhythm champs and FADS open finalists. I was VERY put off by this.
  5. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    even in any walk of life there is a way to phrase things in order to oversell....a way to try to appropriate what looks like a legitimate title....
  6. frotes

    frotes Member

    One title that always confused the hell out of me was when pros are the "undefeated champions of X". To be the champion in this context means that you placed 1st, which means you beat out everyone. So of course you are undefeated else if you were defeated, then you wouldn't be 1st. So it seems like the extra statement of "undefeated" before "champion of X" is unnecessary?
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I think they mean that for as many times as they danced that event, they were not beaten...but never know...
  8. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    It's very true that these small comps don't have rotating panels; there are usually only two judges, and they are often also the pro partners who are going to be doing the pro show. So they tend to have similar opinions about things. The past couple of years I've seen some judges who have made it pretty clear that they aren't there to hand out first places like candy. And some of the promoters are encouraging their judges to grade a little tougher. It seems lately that more of the competitors are expressing the same thing you talked about, where they want the judging to give them some feel for how they actually danced. Plus, they'd like to distinguish their comps from the sort of thing that we've all seen, where basically the whole thing is a big ego-stroking exercise (depending on how much money one spends).
  9. dgarstang

    dgarstang Member

    Hello everyone.

    T* Clod was telling me that there had been new discussion in this thread, and that maybe I should pop back. I assumed there was one or two posts, and I see quite a few.... Haven't read them all yet.

    Oh gee... update? So... I stopped going to Arthur Murray a few months ago. It just got too expensive. AM has been hard to replace and I've had difficulty finding a new dancing home. As many of you know, I have a bunch of social anxiety issues, and so I've slowly been working myself up to attending Cheryl Burke dance in Mountain View. I've been taking private lessons there weekly with an instructor who knew my previous instructor from AM, and at the start of this month started doing two group classes a week. The plan is to do maybe 4 or more next month. The _really_ tough part is the dance parties. Asking women to dance has always been difficult for me, and the AM coddling made up for that. That doesn't happen in other places, so I haven't gone to any of the CBD dance parties yet. I should be there right now... working myself up to it.... working... maybe next week....?

    latingal likes this.
  10. anametuer

    anametuer Member

    I too was wondering what is happening in the thread, in the absence of OP. You have shared a lot on your steadfast approach of taking lessons for not too tangible results , and naturally getting frustrated.
    Apart from the social anxiety issues, hope you are feeling improvement in your dancing, Doug, in the past few months ? How about the LEAD? Guess all these are interrelated , ie, social anxiety melts down with improved skills , so to bell the cat, one must allow more time and plenty of practice with the patience of a vulture. J Do you agree? It took me 3 years to reach the level I was hoping for in less than an year! Glad you are going steady!
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Hi Doug! It's good to "see" you again! Yes, in case you were wondering, it is true. Some threads never die. *grin*

    I'm glad to hear that you are still dancing. Leaving AM (or ones first studio, whatever it may be) is a stopping point for a lot of people. I have to give you props for finding an alternative and keeping on keeping on. :cool:

    That said, maybe it's a good thing that you've been forced out of the AM "bubble," so to speak. AM is a very nurturing environment. IIRC, one of your main goals in dancing was to overcome social anxiety. So now you've been forced by circumstances into situations that are a bit outside your comfort zone. Painful now, but quite possibly much better in the long run.

    FWIW, you have all the support I can muster from here. :)
  12. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    Good for you for keeping at it, Doug! Try going to the parties, even if you don't ask anyone to dance. Go to enjoy watching others, and if someone asks you to dance, dance. Keep going, and take the pre-dance lesson if there is one, and eventually you'll work up the courage to start asking people. You can do it!
  13. flightco

    flightco Well-Known Member

    I have been enjoying the many posts in this message thread because I have so much in common with the OP (which I will save for a new message unless it would be better for me to just continue this one with my own story). What I wanted to say to you is it doesn't matter if you are a hot blond, not a blond, whatever. Most new guys are scared to death of looking foolish on the dance floor, especially with a lady who knows how to dance. I have had lady's need to talk me into dancing; I really wanted to dance but somehow it felt like if I said no and she insisted it wouldn't look so bad when I messed up. The point is, it is not you, we really want to dance or would not be there in the first place; for me it is really frightening (it has been 4 months now and not so much any longer, but still...)

  14. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I am honestly at the point that I just don't go social dancing much because I get tired of doing all the asking and having the guy be too stressed to enjoy it the entire basically, if dh doesn't go which is almost always, I don't go....I need a practice partner (hear that all you men in NW IN?)...we all have insecurities to get over...I get tried of having to do all the heavy's fine that so many men are that way and I accept it, and I don't mind having to work my way through some of it....but sometimes,most of the time, it is nearly every dance.
    wooh, Debra and danceronice like this.
  15. flightco

    flightco Well-Known Member

    Fascination (I believe I saw an abreviated version of that on here someplace),

    Any tips where to dance on the South Side or NW IN? I live right off I-80 but take lessons on the North Side at a studio I think is fantastic but it is really hard to make any parties or group lessons since it is so far away, really far in Chicago traffic. Willowbrook Ballroom is the closest I have found and have attended one of their salsa nights. I think I am at the place where I need to dance with more people to start putting it together and am finding it difficult to find a place. I had been going to the practice parties at my wifes FA but since I have told them they are not an option for me I feel funny going there now even though my wife still does. ( I do have to say though, they continue to be very nice to me).
  16. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    diamond dancesport is in hickory hills...very nice folks, gotta dance in schererville always has well attended parties, FA valparaiso is a growing community with a gorgeous big floor, premiere dance has moved to dyer I am not sure about the space there as I have not been there...

    regarding any FA in general, if your wife is shelling out bucks there, you have every right to feel comfortable and welcome....
  17. flightco

    flightco Well-Known Member

    I had responded but no message here, must not have hit post reply.

    Both Diamond Dancesport and Gotta Dance look like the could be viable options. I think I will try to get started in the latin group class at Gotta Dance on Tuesday nights.

  18. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    Rodolpho and Jessica are good will like them

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