I mentioned one of my friends whom I've limited to at-work interactions because of boundary issues. This woman is absolutely a gem with unlimited willingness to listen and give advice. I truly love her. But well. She's extremely judgmental which I find irksome. I can deal, but it does irk me. She and I were attached at the hip all through the period when my marriage was falling apart and later, while I was going through my divorce. But I always felt a little smothered, to be honest. ETA: In all fairness, I was also unusually needy during that period, so I probably got some emotional payoff from the smothering. Eh. *shrug* Then a couple things happened that signaled me that I needed to back off. First, she accidentally called me her daughter -- not in a symbolic way, but really. She literally said, "When something happens with my children, like you ..." This creeps me out, because I see this woman as a friend, not a mother. I have one neurotic Mom already, thank you very much. Around the same time, I went on a very successful diet and lost 25 pounds, of which my friend didn't approve. She started making comments about how I'd already lost enough weight, how beautiful my body was, etc. When I ignored her increasingly pointed comments, she started "inviting" me to lunch first one day, then as many as four or five days a week. This in the guise of giving me time to talk through my divorce-related worries. And oh btw, sabotaging my diet of which she didn't approve. And, btw, at the time the lunch invitations started, my friend knew that I had a habit of calling my mother every single day during lunch. Every day. Which of course I couldn't do, if I was having lunch with a friend. Hmm. (There were many other irritants, but these are the biggest and easiest to explain.) I moved to a further-away office at work, changed my lunch hour, and seriously cut back on what I saw to be unhealthy interactions. I still love her and we still talk, but I really feel that I need to love this woman from afar. So Thursday, for the first time in the years I've known her, my friend didn't give me a Christmas gift -- not even a card. This is not like her. She normally gives me a card, a check to buy something for DS and a personal gift. This year, not even a hello. Which is fine. I don't love her because of gifts. I love her because I love her. (And no. It's not a money issue. My friend is quite wealthy.) Now I feel that my distancing myself hurt her feelings and I'm not sure what to do, because I really do want the distance, and I don't want to lose a friendship that I value so much. OTOH, I'm miffed that she's passive-aggressively sending me a message. If she doesn't like our interactions, I feel that she should say so. She's old enough to be my mother, and I expect her to act like an adult, not a petulant child. I didn't do what she liked, so she took her marbles and went home. Can anybody here see something I'm not?