Tango Argentino > Come as couple - but lady gets no dances

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by aaah, Jun 8, 2015.

  1. tangobro

    tangobro Active Member

    Same difference. According to the way I've learned the process the man gives cabeceo (head movement) in response to the woman's mirada (look). If I don't receive eye contact (mirada) I look to someone else. I don't stop to analyze if I'm being ignored or if she is oblivious. If I'm looking toward her to see if I will receive mirada and she makes eye contact, looks away & does not look back, I look to someone else.

    There have been times when I've been standing or sitting near someone who has not given me mirada & seen her respond to the outstretched hand which it the typical (non AT) male initiated dance request around here. I may then ask which she prefers & find out that she was oblivious to or uncomfortable with the mirada/cabeceo aspect of the dance, but that doesn't occur very often.
  2. Juniper Ivy

    Juniper Ivy Member

    I totally agree! I remember one evening when a man I really wanted to dance with told me he had actually tried to cabaceo me. And I had no idea he tried. I am certainly no cabaceo expert and the system does not work flawlessly. Not for me at least. Maybe the lady is receiving two cabaceos at once. Maybe she is daydreaming or distracted. Maybe she is having a wardrobe crisis. I could miss a cabaceo for a million different reasons. A ctually Im rather shy so the whole mirada system is just not my forte. I do the best I can. Cabaceo is great when it works. But IMO to take a failed cabaceo personally would be a mistake.

    Actually I think the vagueness is part of the charm of it. You can shrug your shoulders and say "Who knows. Maybe later."
    Mladenac and Zoopsia59 like this.
  3. tangobro

    tangobro Active Member

    While we are on the topic - mirada & cabeceo:

    one woman's viewpoint

    or from another perspective:
  4. Mladenac

    Mladenac Well-Known Member

    And what if you pay a workshop for a cabeceo?

    I heard some people irritated when learning about cabeceo during the class.
    And saw an organized workshop in some other town for the cabeceo.
  5. Toad

    Toad New Member

    If I were rejected in one of dchester's "memorable" ways, I would not ask that woman again. Or accept an invitation from them.

    If I were rejected politely, I will try again later. But if I get several polite rejections in a row, then I would stop requesting. Rejection is somewhat painful and repeated attempts in the face of "no" would be pestering/stalking. If a woman who rejected several of my attempts were to invite me later, that would "clear the slate" and I would certainly invite her in the future.

    This is mostly related to a non-cabeceo environment and not just tango.
    Mladenac and raindance like this.

Share This Page