Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by youngsta, Aug 28, 2003.
When and how often do you normally do it?
If they are really worth it. If they aren't I still try to find something good about their style though..
I do this all day long!
haha, I forgot about all the instructors here :lol:
I compliment other dancers all the time, too, and I'm not an instructor. Yet.
Seriously, though, I think we all need the encouragement. I just try to be specific -- like, "your handstyling is really improving," or "I love your expressiveness when you dance." That way, people can accept the compliment. If it's too general, a lot of times, people think you're just being nice.
Usually if someone is doing something that's new for them, and positive, I'll try to back it up with some praise. I never criticise ... in the past, if I've had trouble and I thought my partner was messing up, I'd ask the coach/instructor why we were having such a problem, even asking what I was doing wrong. Heck, sometimes it was my fault.
The only time I might offer a little constructive criticism is if someone is having trouble executing a particular move, and they ask for advice or express frustration. An older friend of mine was having trouble with a very difficult waltz spin move, she couldn't figure out why she couldn't execute the move. I explained that if she would maximize the distance between her ribs and her hips, she might have the control to pull off the move. On the next try, she executed the move without stumbling ... but I would have never offered that advice, as benign as it might seem, unless she first asked.
A lot of the times, the difference between constructive and destructive criticism, is knowing the person we're talking to, and/or waiting to be asked for feedback.
I once knew a gentleman who was about six months ahead of me in dance experience. He spent every group lesson "teaching" me the steps. He irked the heck out of me.
Then I met another gentleman who was also about six months ahead of me. He and I talked about what WE were doing wrong or how WE could improve. That made all the difference.
In the first scenario, I felt criticized and defensive. In the second scenario, I felt like part of a team. It's all in how the feedback is given.
I always give compliments to spanking new beginners I dance with. I know I used to use any praise given to me as fuel to continue getting better. Anytime I have a great dance with a woman I let her know. And when I'm watching dancers and see a pair that are just really out there feeling it and having fun I make sure they know I enjoyed watching them.
Rarely. *shrug* at least not direct compliments.
When I dance with someone I always thank them for the dance. If it was particularly fun I tell them I enjoyed it. When they are a beginner I try and encourage them during the dance. Smiling, laughing, and making eye contact. If I know they were self-concious or concerned about our level disparity I tell them how much potential I think they have.
Why don't I give compliments? Because some people will take a compliment beyond the vain in which it was given. If I say that looked good I'v heard people try and say that I said they were really good dancers and lord it over others... end result...
When I pay you a compliment now you can be assured I mean it.
A small word of praise now has my students glowing, and they know I honestly mean it... being known for brutal honesty has made me the Simon Cowell of Lindy Hop... I'm okay with that.
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