Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by aaah, Dec 20, 2007.
I was told I was a Boer once. Or maybe bore. Boor? She didn't spell it for me.
BOER-- dutch afrikaans .
You're a veteran of the Bore War?
back to more relevant matters:
i also thought you must have been taking the rise out of us as in the original post it did give the impression that you were having difficulty with the concept that dancing close embrace is not a sexual thing. it should not matter what the person looks like. this is why i pointed out that i would avoid dancing with someone who was not using dance as his criterion for choosing partners. this was based on what was said in the post here and on your previous posting.
If this is not what was meant, i'm sorry it was interpreted this way, perhaps you could take more time over the phrasing.
Another reason I started to think it was a joke was the way once people started to respond you were unwilling to listen to what people had to say if it wasn't what you wanted to hear and contradicted what you had already written. I am extremely confused.
I also think that your response to Heather was out of order. She is brutally honest and gave her own opinion based on what you had written, which is how this all works, apparently it is not allowed for us to express our views openly and freely as you came back with some offensive crap. This sounds like some kind of tangoL flurry:
i have a problem with blah blah blah
emails from other people : here is a possible solution
email back from original poster:
i have no problem, my dance is perfect how dare you suggest otherwise blah blah blah
ok here is a very simple thing:
hopefully women will not think you are too eager they will think you want to dance, not that you just want to press up close to them like a pervert on the tube.
if they are ugly, it doesn't matter, the closer you are to something the harder it is to see, problem solved, get close enough that your eyes can't focus
choose very short ugly women so that their head is so far below yours that you can't see them anyway.
And people wonder why Americans are renowned for their sense of irony.
Yeah, where's this Boer place then?
OK, OK, in a vague attempt to be on-topic, I'll return to the OP:
Ignoring the "attraction" thing (FWIW I agree with Heather and the schoolgirl, it's irrelevant), why not simply dance in open embrace if you don't want to dance in closed? There's nothing wrong with dancing in open, is there?
Well, OK, I will revisit this one, hopefully without getting all judgemental.
As you learn to dance in any form, "attractive" becomes synonymous with "a good dancer", so the more experienced and talented dancers, and the ones with the best attitudes, are the most attractive ones.
In the meantime, I'd keep your thoughts about your partner's attractiveness or lack thereof hidden - all us men should just be grateful we get dances at all.
I said in an earlier post that this fellows issues are not about dance, and it is that which should be addressed...but not here.
*Hanging sign in my studio* "A man who can dance, is always in deMANd"
Ha, ha:uplaugh: ha, ha, ha, ha. Now who's being brutally honest? :uplaugh:
There's some useful information here.
Interestingly, thread was started by same person.
Really like this response cornutt, as I am going through the same thing. I took a break from tango because I let my intense emotions get the better of me, and I allowed myself to feel rejected by a woman I was attractive too. Now I am here trying to figure out if tango hobby is for me. I love the emotional expression and the connection in the dance, that’s what, drew me into it. But dancing with this particular attractive women who I thought was single (turned out otherwise) totally charges me up sexually. It is difficult to control.
I remember growing up in Europe (now in North America), social circles were much more mixed and I had a ton of female friends, although this was before puberty kicked in a hormones began to influence behavior. But I think European culture is more similar to that of Argentina.
I don't understand how far to take the dance emotionally. In the end you make a comment about it being very good to have this passion. I love this passion too, but are you suppose to take out sexuality out of it, it makes sense to me. Sexuality would be the strongest of passions of all human emotions. Is there a greater? What other type of emotion would make a dance more creative and passionate than sexuality?
Hmm it's difficult to answer this briefly. I have worried myself in the past whether tango is "wrong" or "odd" in some way. But I think at the end of the day it's all about perspective. Tango is a gift. It gives you the chance to open up your heart to complete strangers, and to find a moment of common ground with them. Or if they're not complete strangers, to get past all the usual subterfuges, and talk directly to them - heart to heart.
There is a wonderful quote that someone on this site uses as their signature. It's about "being in the moment" - not having exterior motives and just focussing on now -
" Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance. "
Sorry to quote poetry , but if you dont have the heart of a poet, then why dance tango??
[my break on your line would be:
If you don't have the heart of a lover, why dance foxtrot?]
hmm now you've got me intrigued .... !
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