That isn't to say that women can't be completely rational, objective, or self-assured people. They certainly can. Men certainly have their insecurities, but I am not sure they are manifested in the same way, nor do we ask the same type of underhanded/loaded questions. Men often have conversations that are for the purpose of "information gathering". I have a problem. I ask Joe how to fix the problem. He says use hammer A. I think I should use hammer B. The solution for me, is to bring Joe to Bob and ask Bob's opinion which hammer to use. Bob says use hammer A, we all go home happy, no intimations anything other than trying to solve the problem of which hammer to use. These sort of phone calls last about 20 seconds and are very direct, impersonal, and practical. This is the approach newbie is taking right now. How the securities of men manifest, I defer to your expertise. But we generally do not ask loaded questions for this purpose, such as "Does this make my butt look big?"