General Dance Discussion > Dancers you avoid

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by pygmalion, Jul 18, 2004.

  1. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Just curious. Does anybody besides me have these people? The dancers that you try not to make eye contact with, pretend to be deep in conversation so they can't ask you to dance, and avoid at all costs? (Bear in mind, my list of such people is WAY short, but I do have a few. LOL) Do you? Why? What did they do to get on your persona non grata list? EM's want to know. :wink:
  2. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Let's just say that I got too much of these few individuals. This built in expectation got too much for me. After all they are plenty other dancers out there!! Also in some other ways, as well...cannot go into details...just suffice to say that it is not dancing ability. There are some whom I avoid for certain dances and look for others, though based on how ell we connect. :oops: :)
  3. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    mainly followers who backlead. one in particular asks me for dances then during the dance lets go and starts doing shines. i'm often tempted to go sit down when this happens.

    but there is one women who in particular practices her vulcan death grip, either with their hands on mine or with her left (worse yet, sometimes not dry) armpit on my right wrist/forearm...

    i'll stop here.
  4. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    I don't know, there seem to be several guys that get the avoidance around here. But I will always dance with them when I turn up at a local dance.

    When I get a guy that has a less than perfect lead (after all, isn't that everyone) I actually think of it as a game. Trying my best to follow, and seeing if I can keep up. I take it as a personal challenge and have fun with it.

    Lots of guys are ambiguois leaders, other too hard, some do freaky patterns only they have any idea about. Whatever the reason is I just get over it and dance, otherwise I might as well have stayed home.

    I spend all day trying to be a perfect dancer and teach others to be perfect dancers, that when I get to a social, the last thing I care about is who is doing what correctly.

    The only thing I try to avoid is allowing guys to hold my hand after a dance just to make me stay for a second, while they wait to see what it is. I then say "thanks for the dance, but only one at a time." they usually get the point.
  5. DancingMommy

    DancingMommy Active Member

    I used to have a few on my list, but as I'm effectively tethered, I don't have to deal with them any more.

    What would get someone put on my blacklist:

    1) Doing complicated moves without any warning (read = lead!) and then blaming me for not doing them and/or injuring me in the process. In other words, don't try to dip me, drop me on my head on a concrete floor and expect to get a second dance from me (this is a true story).

    2) Coming on to me on the dancefloor. It's a dance, stupid, not a gropefest.

    3) Attempting to dance with me while holding a lit cigarette and/or beverage in the hand. Dance floors are for DANCEing not imbibing or spewing second hand smoke <cough>.

    4) Being a totally inept leader with an overinflated ego. I do not suffer fools lightly. DancingMommy has been known to cut egomaniacal sons of female dogs off at the knees.

    5) Attempting to coach me on the dancefloor. If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it. I pay a world class coach a significant amount of money to train me and I don't need extraneous amatuer opinions.

    6) Not understanding the meaning of the word NO! . Believe me, I am very capable of enforcing that lovely two letter sentence!
  6. dancin_feet

    dancin_feet New Member

    I'll basically dance with anybody, but mainly it's the creepy "stare at you the whole dance" and "free hands" that I'll avoid. There used to be one really tall guy who would dance with such a high frame, my right arm would hurt about halfway through the dance. He doesn't come along anymore so that no longer causes a problem.
  7. etchuck

    etchuck New Member

    Avoid... well, that's a tough word for me to use for a social dancer. I have people I don't prefer to dance with, but I will when needed.

    I suppose for me the answer is that if one person just completely has no clue of dancing with me, I'll probably hold off dancing with that person for a while. I also hesitate to dance with anyone who I know has significantly more experience than I do, unless that person actually asks me to dance. That means, that person actually does notice that I do a decent job dancing (at least).

    I suppose as a leader, I don't worry about a follower (woman) groping me. I do feel sorry about you follows who have to contend with the creepy guys. It doesn't do me much good when you all get creeped out.
  8. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    if you are saying that you never avoid obvious attempts to make eye contact, never cast about for another partner and never head off to the little boy's room should you see someone approaching & you know that they want to dance with you, you are a better man than i, gunga din.

    unless you have a white horse & armor in your back pocket! :p
  9. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    1. The guy who does some sort of weird peabody to every single dance in this little shuffling step. Worse, wears a sweater ALWAYS and never washes it.

    2. The guy who thinks he's the best dancer on the floor, doesn't lead (or dance, for that matter) well but has an ego the size of montana. Worse, likes to "dip" the lady by stepping forward and knocking her over backward. This works fine with the little 50 pound asian ladies, but not me. When I refuse to do it, he lambastes me for not trusting him and not being able to do the step.

    I'll dance with anyone who asks, unless they have a tendency to hurt me, want me to teach them, or is a total raw beginner who's already asked me to dance three times and the evening's not half over. I mean, I think it's good to dance with beginners, but enough is enough!
  10. DanceMentor

    DanceMentor Administrator

    After we get done performing at a weekly venue, I often get asked if I'll dance with the bride from a bachelorette party. I've tried this a couple of times, and every time she is drunk beyond measure, cannot dance, leans backward while dancing to the point that a simple rock step could lead to disaster, and has know idea what I'm doing when I try a simple dip for the photographer. I avoid drunken bachelorettes like the plague! :x
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Drunk anybody's are a bad bet as dancing partners, I think. :evil:
  12. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    Yes, but drunk non-dancers are the worst. These are the people I try to avoid.

    I don't avoid dancers. There are dancers who I don't particularly enjoy dancing with or have had a bad experience with, but I still give them a dance if asked. Even two. It does get too much though when the guy then decides that I must like dancing with them and keep coming back to me :x.
  13. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Ditto to everything DancingMommy said!
  14. swinginstyle

    swinginstyle New Member

    I tend to avoid dancers who make unsettling eye contact. Eye contact is cool, but when it gets to the point of "Snoopy vulture" eye contact, it's over. Annoying drunk people, emphasis on annoying, are on the avoid list. Then there's some people that take dancer's crush to the extreme
  15. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    okay okaaay!.. GEEZ.. what? u want the fella to beg?!.. fine

    i won't hold your hand if u hold mine LOL! :tongue:

    oh.. did i sigh yet? :shock: .. i dont think i did .. here goes *sigh*
  16. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    I agree w/ DancingMommy and about dancing with SPAZ guys! Chill out, put some ice in those trousers and then I'll consider it... :evil:
  17. Lita_rulez

    Lita_rulez New Member

    I usually don't "avoid" dancers.

    (well, actually, yeah, I do avoid that one guy who keeps asking me to lead him... it fun once in a while, but twice an evening !!!!)

    I do not avoid a follow if she askes me to dance, for I nerver liked beeing refused a dance when I started off, and as long as I can help out, I do not see a reason I should not. (sometimes, just being seen dancing with a few "good" leads is enough for a follow to get invited a lot more, not that I consider myself that good anyways, but sometimes that is what the compliments leed to believe), and I'll usually try to invite at least one or two faces I'm not really familiar with.

    Actually the dancers I do not invite and will not dance with unless they ask me to are more advance dancers that I do not like.

    One is one of the 4 dancers I dreamed about dancing with when I started dancing : beautifull, expressive, great moves with her whole body...
    I have danced with all the dancer that I dreamed about inviting at the begining, and almost all of thoseI have seen or met since and dreamed about inviting (still missing a few because allways meeting new ones, of course ;) ) but her, I only invited a few weeks back.

    And man did I hate dancing with her !!!!!
    Definitly not my type of follow, quite the opposite actualy : Very strong grip (man's hands) backleads, does her thing wihtout paying attention to what I'm trying to do... Of course she looks good with every dancer, she dances by herself !!! No connection whatsoever... and she sings along all dance long...
    never danced with her since, and well, don't really feel like doing it again anytime soon (say in the next 25 years)

    The other one is one of the people I met at the begining of my "real" salsa life. Same teacher, same club, same friends, same "models"
    She started going to a different club where many "models" we had (and some are still models to me) were dancing. Being a girl, and them being guys, she got invited more and more, and made progresses with them, quite fast I must say.
    And there probably lays the problem : she, who was begging to dance with 2 friends and I when we were the most advance guys in the group, started snobbing us because she had become "so much better". So as a rule of thumb, I decided not to invite her. Besides, the few times I had invited her, she never smiled, looked pissed half the song, and looked like she was thinking of something else altogether.

    Haven't danced with her in months. A few weaks back, one monday night around 2 AM, the club was almost empty, she invited me. I said yes. And it was a very pleasant dance. I enjoyed it, she did follow my lead, and she thanked me plenty at the end, saying it had been a long time since we had last danced together, and it was a shame.
    Danced with her twice since : turns out when she is not exhausted, she does NOT follow. Just a hunch of a signal, and she's trying to pull off 3 or 4 spins on a 4 count, whereas I just wanted a slow single turn tu cup her head for a different move... And then complains I did not stop her right after the fourth spin...

    Oh well, give it another 6 month, maybe she'll have learned how to DANCE and not just look technicaly sound...
  18. ShyDancer

    ShyDancer New Member


    One guy I try to avoid at all costs. I was nice to him a few times and now he abuses it.
    He hangs around in the corner and waits for my class to finish (its immediately before the social) then he RUNS, yes actually runs to get me. If I refuse he pleads "oh please dance with me" or "you came here to dance you cant sit down" and things like that. When I do give him a dance he will not let me leave when it ends, I will thank him and walk awy but he says "no stay here ther is another one" If I didnt hide from him he would beg me for every dance and its downright annoying.
    The most annoying aspect is that he talks through the entire dance telling me how Im doing this or that wrong (when I know Im not!) and he stops dead in the middle of the floor and wants to do "our routine" from the start. If he could actually dance I wouldnt mind a tip or 2 but he really cant dance, nor can he lead.
    I dont mind 2 or 3 dances a night but he actively seeks me out for every single dance and If I dont just make a run for it he will keep me there all night :evil:
    I am getting very sick of having to leave the dancefloor area after every dance so he doesnt come over and expect me to dance with him!
  19. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    Maybe its time for to put a stop for it then ShyDancer.. time for a reality check.. and who knows maybe u will help him more that way in the bigger scheme of things..
  20. ShyDancer

    ShyDancer New Member

    Ive tried Sabor...

    I told him that I enjoy dancng with lots of different people and his constant requests for me to dance with him is stopping me from enjoying a dance with everyone else there.

    Didnt make a bit of difference.

    Last week he asked me if he was the worst dancer there...I bluntly told him Yes and even that didnt offend him enough to keep him away.

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