Salsa > Dancing Salsa as a Man Consumed by Passion

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by tacad, Aug 15, 2005.

  1. tacad

    tacad New Member

    I had a date last night. The ballroom dancing went well (very well) but the rest... well not as great. She, like me is new to salsa. I mentioned that generally I need to be inspired by the salsera to dance passionately. Her response floored me. She thought that about 70% was from the man, 30% was from the woman. I took her to be referring to passion but I could be wrong. Nevertheless, after the date, not feeling so hot (necesssary for context for what follows) I went salsa dancing. I decided to show my passion immediately and not wait for her to ignite mine. (This will be tough to phrase.) I asked a woman to dance. To be honest I felt like a wolf. :oops: During the dance I was looking at her as though I had to have her. Looking at her body to a lesser extent (that is, not staring) but very passionately, as a man enthralled, barely able to contain himself. I was pursuing her through the dance, gyrating up a storm. Also, I had set my mind that she had to enjoy the dance so that I could enjoy the dance and other women would want to dance with me as well. Then an amazing thing happened. She started to smile, and smile some more. Then she began to gyrate herself. She really enjoyed the dance. After that dance there was another woman waiting for me to ask her. This is how it went that night. They mostly had a good time dancing with me. I suppose this is a good thing. It's how I've always wanted to dance but felt like women would go "Ewww." Yet it seems to be exactly what I should do to be a successful salsero. Still, I'm somewhat shocked.

    So what do you all think. I'm beginning to think that most salseras are waiting for the guy to show his passion for her, and then they respond in kind. A few, like africana, will start first, but the bottom line is that if I want dances I'm going to have to do this, which I want to do anyway. It's just odd after keeping myself in check all this time that letting passion
    out is just what I should do. I think I may be way too liberated and need to regress a bit.
  2. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    I *have* to ask: did you strike up a conversation with her afterwards??

    Sounds like you had a heavenly experience. Good for you!
  3. africana

    africana New Member

  4. lynn

    lynn New Member

    :shock: wow...
  5. tacad

    tacad New Member

    No. No conversations. That is the subject of my next thread. :roll: Also, it wasn't just that one dance. It happened that way in a majority of the dances. Bear in mind my not so successful date :oops: probably inspired some of this.
  6. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    oh boy!!! :oops:
  7. africana

    africana New Member

    I guess I meant to say is wow :shock: (like lynn)

    I almost always dance with passion but not that sort of lusty passion, at least's more passion for the sensations of music and movement

    I guess whatever works for you, as long as your partners like it

    But I will say there are a handful of guys I don't dance with because they fixate so much on physicality sexuality in their dance with ANYONE that it just doesn't feel right, especially because not every woman is going to be attracted to them.
    Also in the world of salsa that has more of a "dancesport" quality, dancers exude sexuality but don't make that the sole focus. The focus is a combination of strong technique and connection with partner to create a compelling artistic expression

    Before casting in stone what makes a "successful salsero" I'll highly suggest visiting clubs where there are more advanced dancers with various styles and flavors. I have seen many non-lusty dances that looked incredibly sexy and beautiful ;)

    *About showing attraction, it only works when I AM attracted to the partner on some level, otherwise it weirds me out sorry :?
  8. tacad

    tacad New Member

    Thanks africana. I posted this to get some feedback. I can't really tell if I should keep doing this. So please, ladies (and men), let me know what you think. Too much? Any chance this just works because of who I am. I mean, if I even sense displeasure or crossing boundaries I'm out of there. There's also the possibility that it wasn't that potent but it felt like it to me because I operate at a very low-wolf level usually (hastily back-pedaling here :lol:)

    Seriously, I'm interested in what everybody thinks. Hopefully tactfully. :)
  9. alemana

    alemana New Member

    it's impossible to really give *you* feedback without having danced with the New Lusty You.

    but africana posts for me. too much intensity is a big turnoff for me. there's a wide area of play between guy-ignoring-me (don't like) and guy-fixating-weird-get-me-out-of-here (also don't like.)

    one other thing to keep in mind is that, as a leader, a huge peacock display of your emotional status is actually contrary to the spirit of the dance, which is about showcasing the woman.
  10. africana

    africana New Member

    don't worry so much about "should"s and "not"s, just dance how you feel with consideration for partner.

    there is no formula, your mood could change from partner to partner or from song to song, as it should
  11. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    TRue. However, as longa s the ladies like it do it. Also, check out other scenes to see what people get attracted to what styles of dance. Lastly is teh way you danec, you? I've seen different styles and know if I change I'll get more to dance with me, but usually I'm happy dancing the way that I dance, that represents me.
  12. Vin

    Vin New Member

    IMO there are lines that should be drawn, but every situation is different. For example,
    I won't dance with a family member in the same way that I would dance with women I find attractive, which is different than I would dance with someone I am dating which still different than I would dance with someone I am dating in the privacy of my home:).

    Elements of the dance change and they should depending on who you are dancing with and the level of comfort between you and the overall situation, not to mention the music.

    There should be some level of flirtation, but it should still be appropriate for the situation.
  13. Pebbles

    Pebbles New Member

    Sounds like you had a great time, congrats! As for where the boundaries are, it all depends. I remember seeing quite a few women here saying thing like "I would never dance like that with a guy... unless he's hot!" Women will treat you very differently on the dance floor and off, if they find you attractive. It's up to you to know where the line is, and even that is changing all the time. I'd say just have fun and be perceptive, err on the side of caution is always good.
  14. africana

    africana New Member

    not to start a war of guns n roses
    but I believe men own the corner market on this kind of discrimnation
  15. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    When you watch some dancers you know right away that they're happy to be on the floor. They're in tuned with their partners and the music; and they make you enjoy the music and the dance more. They're not showy and cocky, checking with the corner of their eyes to see if anyone is paying attention to their moves. They're completely engrossed in the dance. Is this what you call a passionate dancer? If not how does the passionate dancer dance like?
  16. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    What you describe is true. People notice.
  17. Vin

    Vin New Member

    I agree that is passion but I think he was referring to the passion that you would feel for someone you wish to be romantically involved with.
  18. lily

    lily Member

    Can I add my thoughts as a complete beginner at Salsa?

    I had a really great time at a Salsa dance recently thanks, in part, to two of the guys I danced with. What made dancing with these men especially pleasurable was the way they danced: not just a great lead and a smile, but a certain look in their eyes :oops: :) . Their movements were not in the least bit creepy, nor too close, but it was the way they were done and how I was lead that made me enjoy the dance so much.

    So, I would say that yes, let the passion show :D.
  19. lily

    lily Member

    Surely the girl gives off some signs though, to help the poor guy :? :lol: . I always smile when I dance and if the man is smiling too and looks like he's enjoying the dance, I will smile even more broadly. But if there are one too many "accidents" or I find his dancing creepy then my smile quickly vanishes and I avoid all eye contact for the rest of the dance. Surely a girl who doesn't feel comfortable with way the guy is dancing would show it? Or is this not the case?
  20. SurfSalsa

    SurfSalsa New Member

    The salsa is a dance of quite too loose a character, and unmarried ladies should be encouraged to do it...very young married ladies may be allowed to salsa if it is very seldom....

    Sorry Lily, couldn't resist... :twisted: :lol:

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