General Dance Discussion > Do men dance?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Sagitta, Sep 8, 2004.

  1. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Just the other night a lady friend said something: It is so rare to find men who dance!! I was perplexed, then stopped a moment to think, then realized there was validity to that statement! Of all those out there my impression is that the majority of men don't dance. Is this your impression too? And why is it so? And I don't count swaying to slow songs as dancing.
  2. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    If you look at a partner dance form that requires actual training, the majority of women don't dance either.
  3. jon

    jon Member

    Fear. For examples, just look at how teens post to DF asking how to learn to grind.

    Guys have fragile egos.
  4. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    Which is probably why so many wait until they're much older before they finally learn to dance. After enough years of marriage there's no ego left.
  5. andrew

    andrew New Member

    I think part of it is vocabulary.

    A guy who's gone dancing a few times isn't going to call himself a dancer.
    If you ask a guy if he plays basket ball he'll probably say yes, even if he's never played on a team or had formal training.

    Conversely, I think you'll find a lot of women who would say they are dancers, or that they like to dance, even if it isn't something they do a lot.

    Essentially I'm saying guys are more concerned about being labeled as "dancers" than women are.

    2 cents,

  6. dTas

    dTas New Member

    its all about ego...

    now ladies don't take this wrong but... when learning how to dance it is harder on the man than the woman. right off the bat when someone new comes in off the street for a lesson a woman can get up and dancing "competantly" much quicker than a man.

    men are hindered by several things... focused thinking, stereotypes, more responsibilities during the dance (ie: what to do next, where to go next, how to avoid someone). AND they have fragile egos.

    its just harder to become a competant male dancer than a competant female dancer. just look at pro-am's. watch a pro-am with the male as the student and compare it to an equal "level" pro-am with the female as the student. there's a noticeable different in the quality of the dancing.

    eventhough dancing is "male-centric" (men lead) it is not a man's cup of tea. dancing is too multi tasking and expressive so it takes more work and discipline to break the typical single focus reserved male mind.

    there are exceptions to the rule (as with all rules) but "in general" this is the way it is. so you "generally" see more women dancing than men. that being said i just know specifics will come up. :lol:
  7. Danoo

    Danoo New Member

    im a 14 year old teenager who dances salsa
    and i love it :p :D
  8. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    Edie ("Salsa Freak") sums up the reasons in the "The Male vs Female Learning Curve" section of her When Will I Get Good? article at The graph from that article shows it well (I carry a copy in my Palm -- I resized my copy for display here; original at


    On an earlier thread here, someone pointed out that beginning men tend to drop out early because it's so much work while beginning women breeze through that phase. But then later on the guys, who are used to working hard at it (and the "lazy" ones have already been weeded out), continue to progress while the women start to drop out or stop progressing because they suddenly need to work harder at it (the "lazy" ones don't get weeded out until at this point).
  9. Patapouf

    Patapouf New Member

    I'm afraid that I'll have to agree that there're more women who dance than men (at least in my area), more so in ballroom than in salsa and swing. In a social dance scene, the women to men ratio is often very high. Women have to wait a while after each dance before getting the next one. :cry:

    Some of my male friends who don't dance seem to associate dancing with women and do not consider it a male-type activity.

    With this said, my opinion is that unless they are very interested in it, most men don't get involved in dancing (excluding club dancing), whereas women would be more willingly to try.

    Another reason which contributes to this is that it's harder for men to get started than women. It's harder to be the leader than the follower as a beginner, so as beginner, the dance experience for women may be more enjoyable than men and hence, more likely for them to develop a strong interest in it.

    Finally, I think in swing and salsa dancing when you don't have strict form of frame such as in ballroom and AT, there're generally more men than women, I guess it's a easier dance to start with. :wink:
  10. DanceAm

    DanceAm New Member

    "Men who dance are gay!"

    I am just stating the association. It goes along with the fragile ego. I also tend to think the learning curve is the key.

    Interest is lost if the man doesn't see improvement soon enough. And it is expensive. Many men have tried dance lessons, and after spending as much as 500 bucks, they still can't dance well except with their instructor. Even then it still looks robotic in movement and attitude. The expense, slow progress, still uncomfortable in social dances asking a higher level woman to dance.

    Did anyone ever notice how a man will ask a beginner lady to dance even if he is well above her level? Especially if she is also young and good looking? Men don't mind dancing down, it is a chance to show off and mend the bruised ego of the early learning stages.

    How many very advanced women sit dance after dance? The men are too intimidated to ask them. Almost like in society, men usually ask women to marry them that are at or lower in social status, financial status, professional status etc. A garbage "man" will rarely ask a woman lawyer or doctor out on a date, but many professional men will ask a waitress or clerk out. Again, ego problems. I am not insinuating that garbage men, waitresses or clerks are less of a person, just lower in professional status. Some may not even hold a high regard for lawyers, but I am using them mostly for the average income of a lawyer is usually pretty high. And status is only important when people are being shallow.

    I know in my job, computer professionals once held the keys to the kingdom, now we are a dime a dozen and are jobs are being lost to overseas workforces.

    Enough with being apologetic, I am just trying to add more perspective. I am a guy who dances, and just like Bob Powers, I was inspired by the movie "Saturday Night Fever". (Read that in a book.) I wish I had started then like he did, instead I waited 20 years. He may also have danced another genre as well, I am not sure, but that movie made a lot of guys want to be King of the Dance Floor. It isn't easy for us, but if you can get through the initial hard stages, the door is wide open for us guys. Hitting the high level, we reap the benefits of having more choices than the ladies. We have more control and at a social dance we can even have more fun. But the downside is responsibility, we should make sure as many women are dancing as possible, I think too many women give up because of the lack of men, and that is a shame as well.
  11. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    After watching whole classes learn beyond this stage in a couple of months, without actual private lessons at all, I have to conclude that a lot of the problem is with the format of the training. One-on-one is simply not efficient, until the student is at a high enough level to soak up 40 minutes to an hour worth of knowlege at one sitting, and then reprocress it independently in the time between lessons. Beginner's can't do that yet.
  12. jon

    jon Member

    If only most of them were. Dancing would be the ideal environment for the few straight men to meet women :)
  13. Adwiz

    Adwiz New Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
  14. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    I've never thought of it this way but maybe there's something in what you say... interesting.
  15. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    :) I think Edie The Salsa Freak has a point... I noticed that in my beginners' class there are more females than males, but in my advanced class men outnumber women... I wonder why...?! :wink: :wink:
  16. Nic*star*

    Nic*star* New Member

    Unfortunately that is the trouble and why a lot of boy/men don't continue or join dance classes. Oh acting is fine in many people's eyes, but they think dancing is too feminine.

    If a boy does Breakdancing- or dances like Usher, then hey thats fine, in fact that is wicked- A lot of boys say to me, "I wish i could dance like Usher" but really it's just a lot of isolations.

    Men who do Ballet are the ones who are called Gay- maybe its because of the clothes they wear- If men wore baggy trousers instead of tights and a jockstrap I bet the majority of the sniping wouldn't happen. But my mum reckons it stems back to Neureyv, the famous russian ballet dancer who came out gay, then a few others did, and then thats it, all get marked with the same tar brush.
    And another thing, it isn't as thouggh they are doing feminine moves- ok, so they dont really dance - they leap around and perform a hell of a lot of lifts, which need just as much stamina and a brain for technique as a female.
    Before Nureyv, dancers like Gene Kelly never had a word against them, and at that time it just seemed natural for males to dance too, as it should be, so why do Men get it a lot now?

    My boyfriend dances- he is a good performer and im proud that he is so, but i think both of us feel embarassed to mention that he is a dancer (although acting is a strong talent too) to those who wouldn't really accept it- ie: my 14yr old boy cousins, they know i dance, of course, but I always felt we tried to avoid tem knowing my bf is one too, which is such a shame we feel we have to do so.
    Personally, its a good thing he does do ballet- he is extremely muscular, it brushes up he technique for other forms of dancing, and he knows how to perform lifts, which, is good cuase then he didnt drop or harm me in the process of one show!! but it is such a shame they do.

    I suppose though Men dont actually dance, unless it is tap or jazz/modern dancing. Ballet is just lifts and a lot of the types of dancing you mention above :)

    Nics xx
  17. MapleLeaf Salsero

    MapleLeaf Salsero New Member

    It´s true men don´t mind dancing down as much as women. It´s because you feel more comfortable, relaxed, less pressure, no need to impress the lady and the most important reason is that you realise she´s really enjoying it (good for the ego). 8)

    When dancing with very advanced ladies, you sometimes get the "bored out of their mind" look :roll: Because of this, these ladies get asked less (even by seasoned dancers). Fortunately, not all advanced ladies are this way. :D
  18. dragon3085

    dragon3085 New Member

    Yes men do dance but if you go by the looks on some of their faces, it would seem a lot of them thinks its a chore like mowing the lawn. I see lots of competent male ballroom dancers around here that even though they are very good dancers, if you look at there face while there dancing out socially with their wife or girlfriend, they look like they would rather be somewhere else.

    Also I think and have observerd from our studio, that a lot of guys take of dancing to meet a girl, and if they find a girl, well mission accomplished, I'm done, I can stop dancing now and that guy falls out of circulation.
  19. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    Do men dance? Over here, NO THEY DON'T, which is why you get 20 girls per every guy at the salsa/latin gigs and the guys that DO show up, you know why I'm good at shines & would rather dance alone :cry: . My non-dancing male buddies LOVE those parties as there are tons of gorgeous girls, and they don't have to dance with them to get to know them(just wait for a merengue when they all sit down, and then start chatting them up!) My gay buddies don't give a flip about dancing and would prefer to spend an evening in a pub, gabbing away! I have never known any man who danced IN MY LIFE before I started dancing salsa and I have been active in the music & art scene (not performing) most of my life. What gives? :?
  20. Adwiz

    Adwiz New Member

    This is precisely why I'm opposed to the recent experiments in same-sex ballroom dancing. As someone with years of experience in advertising and communications, I've learned just how quickly perception can build and how strong a force it can be publicly. Nureyev did indeed mess up people's view of men in ballet. The perception that many male ballet dancers might be gay already existed, but was confirmed by so many coming out and that put the brakes on further involvement by boys (most moms understandably don't want to put their young sons into that setting). If same-sex ballroom gains acceptance by the governing organizations, it will be tarred by the same brush in no time. Guys will then shrug it off as a gay activity. Before long the number of guys doing ballroom will not be 1 for every 20 women but more like 1 for every 100 women. And if we find it hard to get television coverage now, imagine how hard it will be with that kind of perception attached and that kind of lopsided interest.

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