General Dance Discussion > "Don't touch me" vibes

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Roo, Nov 29, 2006.

  1. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    And there are those who never get over the "dont' touch me vibes" and just lose out of friends. I can think of this girl who I knew from before my salsa dancign days, who was (is) also into good amount of dancing. Then she meets this guy on the salsa floor, who is a really beginner. They start going out, and while they are going out, she acts like she barely knows any of her friends. That's okay I think - she has a new boyfriend and they need time. But normal smiles and civil hellos are gone too - and I'm not a salsa friend gosh darnit! - I knew for a long time. So I give up on her, and just stop bothering. After several weeks, the said boyfriend is going out of town for 2 months, so our heroine decides to touch-base and say hello. WTF???

    I don't care for her romantically, and she is free to have her own life. But to be a part of mine, you've got to be in touch. Hugging is optional, but she is out.

    My point being - the "dont' hug me" vibe is a slippery slope. If it's one-off, and the new non-salsa gf/bf needs a day or two to get used to it, that's fine. If it lasts longer, then I would've learned that we can't be good friends. Of course, we can still smile and dance - sometimes.
  2. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    I've been thinking about this, and I too have experienced this side of people when they first start dating. I'm very cautious about what I do when I first start dating someone. I'm not sure if they can become jealous easily or what the case might be. I think that is ok like what you said. I do think though that each person in the relationship needs their own set of friends and space etc., and I think that after awhile you should be able to trust one another enough to be able to hug someone (especially if they know who the person is) in public. I mean as long as you aren't groping them etc., then you should be fine with it. However, some people can't handle this. It's sad, because they tend to shut out everyone for their SO. But then what happens when they breakup and they have no one? I don't get it lol.
  3. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Well, I think politeness dictates making the new person feel comfortable. At the beginning of the night, I'd respect that she might be uncomfortable with the hugs. At the end of the night, judging the situation, she'd have had a couple hours to be one of the gang and would probably be getting a hug too as a sign of "We like you!!"
    I think the key to this situation is everyone realizing that "It's not all about me!"
  4. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Oh I agree. I think that we got a bit off topic with the last two posts, but I do agree with what you said about this situation. ;)
  5. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    i will dance however i dance regardless of who is or isn't there, whatever relation there may be.. if they dont like it.. tough, cause i think i'm secure enough to decide for myself how i act on how i feel in something i regard as art
  6. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    Yes, but would your date/SO be secure in themselves and, it's a BIG "and" ;) not everyone views salsa or what goes on, on the dancefloor as "art" but as something they would do behind closed doors!
  7. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    well then.. that's not mi problema is it?

    and.. why would i be with an insecure lady to begin with?.. too many women.. too little time eh..
  8. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    you know what's great... when you get on the dance floor and you get those mutual touch-me vibes. LOL now that's a great moment...
  9. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    :doh: :nope: She may not necessarily be insecure, but you might catch her at a "bad moment? Read, might be hormonal at the time? A tip... don't mess with a hormonal woman ;)

    Oh yeah. You might be with her because a) you didn't realise at the time, b) love the way she moves her hair, her smile, her everything c) you otherwise enjoy her company d) non or all of the above? ;)

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