General Dance Discussion > "Falling in love" for three minutes at a time

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Medira, Apr 27, 2005.

  1. Medira

    Medira New Member

    I was reading through a bunch of old threads yesterday and one of those, combined with something that my instructor has said a couple of times now is prompting this question: How do you "fall in love" for the duration of a dance? What can you do to express yourself in such a way that the joy you're feeling at being on the dance floor is shared with the person you're dancing with?

    I've always been one to internalize everything, so expression has always been hard for me. I can do it during a ballet, tap, jazz etc. routine because I've been at it forever, but it's very different when there's somebody else right there...
  2. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    The dances that you mentioned...jaz, ballet...are non-partnered dancing activities. With partner dancing you have an additional factor - dancing with another human being - interacting with another person in an intimate way. On this is based the idea of "love for 3 minutes".
  3. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    "My dance" is salsa and f-l-u-t-t-e-r-i-n-g my eyelashes is one way I show my dance partner that I have fallen in love for the three minutes (usually within the first 10 seconds but shhhh!, I don't want him thinking I am easy :wink: ) :lol: :D

    Another way is my cheshire cat smile :D

    What you show/how you show it will though depend on the dance. With tango, it would be different, no smiling... but the eyes can still play :banana:
  4. Medira

    Medira New Member

    I know, and that's my point really. How does one get accustomed to having that other person right there. I have enough trouble trusting someone else, never mind expressing myself. How can I get past this?
  5. Laura

    Laura New Member

    Practice. Social dancing. Just doing it a lot.
  6. Ms_Sunlight

    Ms_Sunlight New Member

    I've found that when I go to salsa classes, I have no problem touching my partners and looking them in the eye (not constantly in a creepy starey way but enough) when dancing, but a lot of people don't feel comfortable like that. For example if we're in a hold and the instructor stops the class to explain something, I'm happy to just stay put and listen but some other people immediately pull away.

    It seems to me that a grave disservice has been done to my generation and the ones either side of it, that we feel uncomfortable just touching members of the opposite sex innocently, and it takes a fair bit of partner dancing to break that down!
  7. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    Look at your partner in the eye and smile. Let go. Be blank. Let the music and the leader guide you. Forget everything else. I love that intoxicating feeling of losing myself in dance so much it's easy for me to "fall in love for 3 minutes".
  8. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

  9. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

  10. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    Interesting point, Sagitta. I have never though about this before - simply because it hasn't occurred to me to do so - but I'll be watching out for it now.

    Could be some interesting gender issues here - social conditioning, male/female roles in society etc.

    Have to think about this one.

    Rosa :)
  11. wuthering

    wuthering New Member

    One of my fav partners used to say that technique is half the job, the other half being the attitude: he said he prefered dancing with less experienced but who was *there* for him on the dancefloor, and showed it by looking at him, responding to his gestures, smiling, acknowledging extra efforts, watching him while he did shines and showing him that she enjoys the dance. He did the same with the girl.
  12. hopelessly_addicted

    hopelessly_addicted New Member

    Hey I love those three minutes affair on dance floor.. It only becomes a problem when the person I dance with does not see it as that and wants to take it further (and am not attracted to him!)

    Like what Ms_Sunlight said, I use my eyes to convey the feelings I have. When the two people dancing together are on the same wavelength and they look into each other’s eyes at the same point in time, there is nothing more magical than that :) I guess I don’t continuously hold the eye contact though – one that’s made every so often is good.

    I hate it when the partner I’m dancing with has wandering eyes – what I mean is that he does not pay attention to who he’s dancing with, just looking at other people dancing or into the space, going through patterns after patterns! I can differentiate those who do that from concentrating (figuring out the next move) and those who are simply not interested in dancing with me :evil:

    I do this. Nothing against the partner I’m dancing with. I tend to really focus when in classes…
  13. wuthering

    wuthering New Member

    Ditto. I realised though that some guys are too shy to look into my eyes :twisted: :roll: :lol:
  14. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Oh, I have that problem! When I like my partner, I just can't bear to look him in the eye! It's sort of like, I look, then I turn away and sot of peek at him every now and then. I'm not shy. I'm just shy. :roll:

    Twilight Elena
  15. Medira

    Medira New Member

    Well, I had a rumba spotlight on Friday aaaaand....I think I did it! I know I did better, at least. I took a *hopefully* inconspicuous deep breath as he led me to the floor. Made myself relax and let him move me to the music. When we finished, I received compliments from some of the people there! One woman told me that the dance looked so romantic and beautiful. Another told me that I had improved so much since my last one (3 weeks ago) and one of the other instructors said that it was one of the best bronze-level spotlights she has seen in ages. :oops: :D

    All in all, I feel good about it. I know I have a fair way to go still, but I think I can do it.
  16. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    :lol: When this happens, and I am in "the mood", I tell the guy one of two things: look at me or, who are you dancing with :roll: :lol: Some of them don't realise they are not looking at their dance partner until it is pointed out to them and then they try to look at her (me). Others... :roll: ho hum... :lol: But, at least I tried before I "marked them" :twisted:
  17. Congratulations Medira :) Sounds like you had your heart and soul into the dance.

    Regarding the loving looks in the dance, I think it helps to know where the other person stands in terms of their relationship status. I'm reluctant to flirt with someone if I'm not interested in them, because I don't want to send the wrong message and mislead or hurt someone. Mind you, I wouldn't mind flirting with them if they understood it to be for the moment. When I say flirting, I'm referring to something above and beyond the normal courtesies and eye contact. (I'm sure you understand).

    Now, when the flirting (loving looks) is initially received from the lady, I can get confused on their motivations. Is it just for the moment? (I didn't realize this when I first started dancing) or are they interested in me? I think part of the confusion stems from being single and available at the moment, opposed to being married or involved. If I was married for instance, then they would know that I'm no threat (or should I say, "off limits") and would most likely be just fun/flirting. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if both parties understood it to be flirting just for fun, I'd gladly participate. But, if it was coming from one interested party to one uninterested party, I'd tend to think the uninterested party would not be so flirtatious. But, if both parties are interested, then that can be one incredible dance! :wink:

    I probably, shouldn't think so much about it and just dance.

    When I first started taking lessons, the loving looks from my instructor fooled me. Now, I'm more immune to these. In fact, if it happens from an instructor, I'll play along too. But, from other students I'm less likely to get too flirtatious unless I think we have an understanding of each other.

    Does any of this make sense? or am I'm over-analyzing? :?
  18. Ms_Sunlight

    Ms_Sunlight New Member

    Eyein' ain't tryin'!!! I love it when I can flirt with a man when we dance, even though I know that (a) I'm not available and (b) I'm hardly most men's idea of a dream girl. :wink:

    Oh, GalacticDancer44M? You're obviously doing something very right! If you're not sure of a lady's intentions, give her an opportunity to flirt when you're off the floor. Go over and have a chat or something when she's not dancing, and if she keeps at it...

    :D :D :D
  19. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I agree with you ms sunshine. :wink: :) Flirting on the dance floor don't mean a thing if nothing happens off it.
  20. Now let your mind do the walking
    And let my body do the talking
    Let me show you the world in my eyes.

    I'll take you to the highest mountain
    To the depths of the deepest sea
    We won't need a map, believe me.

    Now let my body do the moving
    And let my hands do the soothing
    Let me show you the world in my eyes.

    That's all there is
    Nothing more than you can feel now
    That's all there is.

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