Dancers Anonymous > Friends who are negative – how difficult to end long term friendship?

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by anntennis, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    given that tennis apparently has been the only common denominator, it seems to me that you've been activity partners more than friends. if anything, you've been more competitors against each other than actually engaged in activities that facilitate the building of friendships. i submit that tennis buddy would be a more appropriate categorization of the relationship you've had with this person.

    if you wish to keep a relationship going with this person, you are probably best served by choosing activities that provide a similar set of dynamics. but you may find that none of your current interests are a good fit for this other person. it happens; things and people change.

    you may find this to be true even within the dance world. while i started in ballroom, i danced salsa almost exclusively for a number of years. i tired of salsa, and nowadays i rarely see any of the people i used to know from the salsa scene.
  2. dncergrl

    dncergrl Active Member

    Most of her behavior seems around being tired or being down. Maybe she has an undiagnosed medical problem that is causing her to have low energy. Can you be frank with her and say you noticed she is not as happy or enthusiastic as she once was and you are concerned and wonder if she has talked to her doctor. That at least would open the conversation.
  3. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    and sometimes we simply wake up and are no longer willing to overlook things that were always there but which we were framing differently before reality taught us otherwise
    chomsky and anntennis like this.
  4. anntennis

    anntennis Active Member

    I am not a doctor to suggest a medical problem. I can not even imagine how loud and offensive her reaction wiould be even though it could be true. I just do not think it is right to consistantly project your bad mood or being tired and such on people around you.
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2013
  5. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    You don't have to be a doctor to suggest there may be an issue.
  6. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    can I have her phone number...we could grumble together..;)
  7. davedove

    davedove Active Member

    But you may wind up with only the past friendship and its memories. Except for those, you are different people.
  8. Dupont

    Dupont Member

    Looking at my experiences...

    Friends and I haven't changed much. Distance-wise, we are as far or as close as we were.

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