Salsa > Gee, you're good -> the art and science of compliments

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by brujo, Jan 6, 2004.

  1. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    That's a great one Shelley! :D ...and I actually got the counterpart last weekend. A dude I'd never met walked up to me and goes "You're Jonathan, right?" I say that yes, I am, and he says "Yeah, I keep hearing from a bunch of women about how great you lead." All I said was thank you, that that was nbice to hear, especially as I have really prioritized leading in the style I have developed... but inside, I was going :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:
  2. goldfish

    goldfish New Member

    yup as a beginner i get compliments. and i take that with a barrel of salt cause i can tell there's a very, very big difference between me and the advanced dancers, so things like "you're good!" "you can really follow" are probably just general things that people tell a beginner to keep 'em psyched about dancing

    (and of course, it works... :bouncy: )

    generally i like a specific compliment that gives me something to work on. one of the advanced leads always reminds me to connect ("a little more frame") because we both know he's going to lead things that are borrowed from other dance genres, and unless my frame is better it won't happen. and when i give it he'll be like YES! that's IT! that's GREAT! can you feel that! so you feel happy but at the same time there's something really constructive about that compliment. it's a great way of making a beginner feel good about being a work in progress :friend:
  3. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    Welcome aboard, Goldfish :D !
  4. goldfish

    goldfish New Member

    thanks salsachinita! must be awesome to get penultimate compliment, to be complimented all over the place behind your back!

    follows discuss leads a lot, it never occured to me that leads discuss follows too (although it seems kind of duh when i think about it) :lol: so that was enlightening
  5. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    :)) interesting topic!

    Since I recently returned from Paris, France, the compliments I remember come from there!
    One guy told me I have style, another that I surprised him with some reaction to the pattern he was leading (actually, he didn't know the way I ended the pattern... it is something my partner and I usually do, so it seems he enjoyed it, although he was kind of taken aback).
    But the compliment I liked most came from the Salsa teacher in one club. He said he liked the way I danced and that anything lacking in style or technique is compensated by my passion and the way I seem to enjoy dancing and the music! And I think I made some mistakes since I am not used to Cuban style... :))
  6. borikensalsero

    borikensalsero Moderator

    Brujo, you always manage to posts some really great stuff.

    :arrow: I was dancing with one of NY City best female dancers. After we were done, she look at me and said, You are one of the smoothest leaders I've ever danced with. :shock: :shock: :shock: I'm still happy about that.

    :arrow: This guy comes up to me, out of nowhere, and says, "Every time I look at you dance, I can only wonder how in hell you move the way you do"

    :arrow: I was at cache on a thursday night, and I this girl stops me on the way out, and says, there isn't anyone in NY City who can dance like you can. You just look different than everyone. I can watch you dance all night long, I've never seen a man move like that. I'm still feeling her words.

    :arrow: I was dancing with this girl, who was absolutely unbelievable, smooth, crisp, she just poored soul out on her dance, after the dance I told her. I love dancing with you, you are an absolutely amazing dancer. She turn around, and said, I can only be as good as my leader. She smiled and kept on walking.

    I don't handle compliments very well, but those and a few others have always stood out in my mind.

    I don't take compliments from my instructors, unless it comes in the spur of the moment, when we are at a club dancing. I usualy feel like they are only trying to boost my ego.
  7. vey

    vey New Member

    Me neither, in fact I was recently complaining to a friend that I'm tired of leaders telling me that I'm a very good dancer. My friend asked "what's wrong with you?":shock:
    I guess it's that I know that I'm not a good dancer, not yet anyway. If a leader enjoyeddancing with me, I'd prefer for him to say that he liked dancing with me rather than calling me a great dancer :twisted:

    On other hand, "specific" compliments said with feeling stay in mind, one of my favourite leaders told me after our first dance " You're SOOOO smooth". I still feel flattered and remember this compliment...
  8. Sakura

    Sakura New Member

    :D You guys have some awesome stories! =^_^= I can't wait until I'm old enough to hit the clubs! Boriken, when I'm up in the NYC area, after *finally* learning Salsa, I shall have to make it a point to seek you out! :wink: 8) (Whether that's your cue to run and hide... I'm not really sure about that yet! :twisted: :lol: )

    Btw, welcome to DF, Goldfish! I definitely understand what you're saying. I know that someday, the complements from my teacher will become fewer and fewer as I hopefully get better and better, so it's my goal to do the best that I can so that I can be a good follow, and maybe get some comments like those that have come salsachinita's way! :D

    Keep up the stories!

    Sakura Kitty :kitty:
  9. MapleLeaf Salsero

    MapleLeaf Salsero New Member

    Wellcome GoldFish! :lol:

    Believe me, us leads discuss follows a lot!!! Sometimes we even rank them, you know my top 10 is....
  10. meagalita

    meagalita New Member

    wow, reading all of these compliments makes me wish you leaders were in san francisco :notworth: :notworth:
    although i am lucky in that there are plenty of amazing leaders out of my league (but i'll catch up eventually :))
    cheers to all of you!
  11. Sakura

    Sakura New Member

    Megalita, welcome to the DF! I *think* SD might be in your area... But, then again, it might be San Diego... I shall have to check...

    I love your avatar! =^__^= :banana:

    Sakura Kitty :kitty:
  12. Sakura

    Sakura New Member

    Ah, my bad. :oops: He's in San Diego. Sorry ML!

    Sakura Kitty :kitty:
  13. MapleLeaf Salsero

    MapleLeaf Salsero New Member

    Yesterday afternoon I went out dancing. I was only there for 2 hours. During this time 4 girls asked me to dance. This in itself is a great compliment. One of them asked me for the first time ever :shock: . She was with her boyfriend, left him, crossed the entire dance floor and asked me for a dance. :shock: I can still see her smile. Hmm... Hope her boyfriend didn´t mind... 8)

    I love it when I dance with a lady for the first in a club and the next time we meet she asks me for a dance. This can only mean she enjoyed the dance a lot. :D
  14. goldfish

    goldfish New Member

    thanks for the welcome people :mrgreen:

    woah. :p should have known. what gets a follow into the top 10 then? other than following everything perfectly and being hot-to-trot... :wink:

    what's the biggest compliment you guys have ever given? mine was telling my favourite lead that he was my favourite lead and telling a newbie friend of mine (in front of him) that he was awesome to dance with. he immediately asked her to dance teehee :uplaugh:
  15. MapleLeaf Salsero

    MapleLeaf Salsero New Member

    Well, it depends on the list we´re talking about. I personally have two top 10 lists. The first includes the ladies I really enjoy dancing with for some reason or other. There´re either nice to dance with, fun, playful, smiling all the time, etc. It has little or nothing to do with their skills as a dancer.

    The second list has to do with their proficiency level. These are the "great" follows (technically speaking). The type of lady with whom you feel there´s correct frame, balance, posture... They can follow almost anything you dish out with ease and there´re smooth and comfortable to lead.

    I have girls who belong to both lists. These are the ones who I most enjoy dancing with (very rare breed). 8)
  16. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    Not necessarily, goldfish.
    Of course an advanced dancer telling a beginner "you're good!" may not (usually) mean he thinks you dance like an advanced salsera who has been dancing for years, but it can mean that you have really surprised him by how good you are considering the lack of experience.
    I don't think "you can really follow" is a compliment beginners hear very often. Inexperienced followers often feel very heavy ("like dancing with a tractor" :lol: as MapleLeaf Salsero put it in another thread), and advanced leaders are always pleased to find a beginner who feels light, i.e., sensitive to the lead. Then there are experienced follows who prefer doing their own things rather than following the lead ("Tasmanian Devils" :lol:)...

    In other words, I think you must be doing really well. Don't underrate yourself! :D
  17. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    i'm a compliment machiiiiiiine! :mrgreen:
  18. tj

    tj New Member

    Here's another way to pass compliments...

    There's this one guy, who's a pretty cool dude - he's always been friendly to me, and will go out of his way to mention to me the ladies, who he thinks are friendly and approachable. And like most of us guys, there are women who like to dance with him, and those who are rude to him. But he treats me well, so I wanna pass on whatever good will that I can.

    So, the other day, a gal that I was dancing with mentioned how she liked dancing with him, so I made sure to let him know that ladies are complimenting his dancing. He seemed quite pleased with that!
  19. mellody43

    mellody43 New Member

    Aw. I'm feeling a little veklempt reading that. :lol:

  20. tj

    tj New Member

    "Honey, your dancin' is like butta."

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