Salsa > Gee, you're good -> the art and science of compliments

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by brujo, Jan 6, 2004.

  1. gte692h

    gte692h Member

    its just as hard to accept our positives, as it is our negatives ! nothing wrong with expressing enthusiasm either! provided one is realistic about it ;)
  2. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

  3. africana

    africana New Member

    you're not me, I'm not you

    it's that simple
  4. ash88

    ash88 New Member

    Brag away!

    Helps me build confidence and confidence is good on the dance-floor.
  5. nenox

    nenox New Member

    So I was in Vancouver last month, and decided to try the Hot Jazz Club on Saturday. Danced with maybe 8-10 different girls. I'd say at least 4-5 of them asked me after the dance where I was from. This has never happened to me in the two years I've been dancing, so I thought it was pretty unusual. When I said "Los Angeles", they were all like, "Ahhh. That explains it. You were really great!"

    That felt nice!
  6. clave

    clave New Member

    Um, share the video, eh? :wink:
  7. alemana

    alemana New Member

    it's true - those of us in big "scene" areas like NY and LA can definitely feel it when we dance with somebody trained elsewhere. even with the variety in classes here in new york, and schools/instructors claiming they have their own unique styles, i can identify a non-new-york trained leader in about 2 measures. nothing to do with on-1 or on-2, either - it's way bigger than that.
  8. alemana

    alemana New Member

    but back to the topic - giving compliments - i had a good lesson in how important it is to do this recently. i used to never say anything to my leaders because i figured they were mostly better than me and it would be weird to say something nice - as in, it would show that i misunderstood that they were more advanced than i. (sounds stupid, i know, but bear with me.)

    but it doesn't work that way. everybody likes to hear how good they are (even if they aren't! hah) and it almost always INSTANTLY improves their dancing when you compliment them. not to mention raises your standing in their eyes.

    a very good leader i have always enjoyed gave me a great dance two sundays ago featuring a beautifully-led, totally secure, dramatic and technically unimpeachable dip (in the middle of a very fast dance.) i think i moaned out loud during it, i was so happy. when he brought me up i blurted out, "you just made my DAY."

    he smiled and later in the song did it again, and came back to ask me to dance a couple more times that day (sort of a rarity because there's no lack of partners here, and certainly i'm several levels below him.)

    so in my mental notebook i made sure to put a star by the command, "say nice things to your partner, it will come back to you in many ways."
  9. africana

    africana New Member

    in that case it sure feels excellent to have a lot of NY dancers ask "why are you from?" and "what is your name?" along with other personal interest questions after dancing with me or watching me. most of the best try not to compliment outright, instead they have a big simle on their face, when normally they won't show much emotion or look impressed.

    heh i kinda like that, cos it's all about attitude lol

    One of my most recent highs was asking this New Yorker, who looked completely bored with a couple other ladies, and having him totally smile, laugh and play with me while dancing a very enjoyable mambo. I dig stuff like that (and I didn't compliment him either :p)

    but I do believe in complimenting my partners, more so when something specials happens during the dance. I also like complimenting people who I've seen improve in some area, or just have pure captivating talent, especially other women
  10. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    True alemana. Somehow I'll dance more with those that compliment me. Just the way it works....I guess. If I get feedback that they have enjoyed the dance more then the usual thank you then it means that it hasn't been the usual run on the mill dance. One tango dancer complimented me and just as you said somehow I take more care when dancing with her...I always have as I know she has a certain way she is comfortable doing the basic, mixing up what she likes with what I like...but I never used to ask her a lot. Now I make a point to ask her every night.
  11. Kindra

    Kindra New Member

    Africana- Are you being sarcastic here?? ;) :)

    Sortof off topic- Were you at the DC Congress?? I'm so bummed I wasn't introduced to you if you were!! I was there Friday and Saturday night....
  12. africana

    africana New Member

    Hey Kindra! no I wanted to go but couldn't afford the time or $$ right after LA congress :(
    but I'm hoping to next year! I've met a few of you guys now (Vin, Beto, TJ, Leah, and a few others)

    yeah sarcasm, i guess there's a lot so I don't think i should say much about it
  13. Lucretia

    Lucretia New Member

    This weekend 3 out of 4 in my family was at a salsaweekend. Afterwards I got a nice letter from my salsateacher.

    You develop SUPER and your daughter is a super salsera!! Nice!! Your husband as well!!
    OK salseros!! Great HUGH!!


    (She is having a nice latinoaccent - both when speaking and when writing)

    I must say that my husband is great. With no dance experience at all he started up salsa 15 moths ago. Now I hardly see him when we enter a club. The girls are lining up!

    I started up salsa at the same time. But I had so much for free after classical ballet, jazz dance and Huzle as young. He has made the biggest improvement and has also made the biggest effort. I'm so proud of him.

    Now I curiously watch my daughter of 13 years. After two salsa classes she started up a cha cha class. I saw her the first time and was breathless. What a style. How simple everything seemed. Afterwards she complained that it was too easy. She seems to be THE natural problems at all. And she has not danced anything at all before salsa. No formal training and still an elegant ladylike style What will come out of her?

    The only problem is that she looks like 16 but is only 13. We don't dare to bring her to the clubs. She is too young to "protect" herself. She has never meet a drunken guy. I don't want her to be abused by some attempts for grinding. She also find the guys at salsaclubs too old. A natural dancer and no chances to practice.

  14. Shooshoo

    Shooshoo New Member

    Last night a man came up to me (never spoke to him before) and he said hello and then said you're a hell of a dancer. [​IMG]
    He had seen me in another venue a couple of days ago.

    I have to admit I really felt good to get complimented for my dancing (since I'm convinced I can't dance). Yippie!!! It feels good.

  15. alemana

    alemana New Member

  16. thespina13

    thespina13 New Member

    One of the compliments that stuck, even though it's small was, after a lady told my lead, "wow.. you and that tall bruntte dancer look really good together", he replied "yeah.. yeah she's one of the good ones." Tee hee.
  17. Shooshoo

    Shooshoo New Member

    Thanks alemana :) .
  18. BugBear

    BugBear New Member

    Well lately I've been getting a lot of compliments from my partners. And I've found it diffucult to deal with them. Most of the time I really don't know what to say - "Thanks" just sounds like a cliche...
    The one I'm most proud of came from one lady that's from the other salsa club. She said - Hey, we're getting really good! :rolleyes:
  19. genEus

    genEus New Member

    On Sunday one of the better dancers but one who doesn't come out too often said "I think you're a good dancer" or something like that. I was so happy I wanted to say "thanks, I think you are too" but said "I think so too." lol. After I said it I attempted with my facial expression to make sure she understood that I meant "you are too" - but it didn't come out the way I wanted. hehehe
  20. alemana

    alemana New Member

    i have my coach's business card in my bag and when people compliment me, depending on the situation, i sometimes give one to them.

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