Salsa > Getting asked out my dance partners but not interested in that way...

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by LovingIt28, May 19, 2007.

  1. noobster

    noobster Member

    That works well but becomes sticky if you develop a real interest in somebody else.

    Very clever, if a bit complicated. I like it - but this girl seems pretty obtuse, I wonder if even this will get it across to her.

    I'd just worry that nothing other than a simple and direct statement would be likely to get through to this particular person.
  2. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    Well, then say a better crafted lie.

    "My girlfriend just moved to Timbuktoo for grad school and we are trying out long distance relationship... It's a difficult phase for me.. I hope you understand.. <blow your nose>".

    Later when you actually have interested in someone else, you can always recount in great detail how painfully you suffered when you found out about your girlfriends new paramour in Timbuktoo...
  3. englezul

    englezul New Member

    I almost choked on my Coke when I read this thread. And I don't mean the drink I mean the white powder.

    You have what's called a high quality problem. What to do about it? You literally don't have to do anything. Anything at all. Just keep on doing whatever you've been doing so far. Be friendly, joke around, be unattainable and if she actually asks you out just say that you are not attracted to her in that way but you love her personality and you'd like to be friends. Or something like that.

    Don't lie. And don't make up excuses. Women smell that from a mile away and you'll quicky go from cool to wimp.
  4. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    I suppose he's been trying hard to acheive that effect, so why not? :rolleyes:

    Anyways, women are as silly and stupid as men are, and as susceptible to deceit as anybody else (in other words, you might look at it as if they are as impervious to deceit anyone else - glass half empty or half full - same thing!). So feel free to lie if you are a good liar and can improvise well. I'd like if I were you, successfully, and get away with it too. It has nothing to do with your/her sex, just has to do with smarts and a knack for delivering the line well...
  5. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    thanks for that... ay-ay-ay... was about to give up on the thread... :rolleyes:
  6. noobster

    noobster Member

    Wrong orifice, darling. Try a nostril next time.
  7. englezul

    englezul New Member

    Ummm...NO. They aren't. Women are much better at decoding body language than a man. Besides that, that type of behaviour will be perceived in the environment and propagate the same wimpy air to all the other women in in the venue. And it will comeback everytime these two girls you're trying to avoid will be there. It might even happen that your state will get anchored to the actual venue so you will feel that every time you're there regardless if your 'fan base' is also present.

    Trust me, it's better to just be a man about it. You will respect yourself more, and these women (and those who are friends with them) will respect you more too.
  8. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

  9. englezul

    englezul New Member

    Is that how you do it? I like my way better. It has that certain je ne sais quoi.
  10. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    Haven't met a woman (or a man) I can't look in the eye and lie successfully. I don't do it very very rarely, but its not too hard. The trick here is that you should already have a reputation for very high integrity, then the occasional lie (or white lie) will simply be taken for truth without any doubts - woman's intuition or not. So it works for me. If the OP is a good liar with a very high integrity in general, it will work for him too.

    Also, women's intuition is greatly exaggerated and overrated.
  11. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    lol... my kids would dispute your claims... lol
  12. dansah

    dansah New Member

    Can't say I didn't warn you! She is trouble. Being associated with trouble in your studio isn't good even if it isn't your fault. Definitely talk to her only in the presence of others. Get a female friend to be present for the "leave me alone speech". Firm and kind. Then have nothing to do with her-not friends, not dance partners-nothing. As I said Before, she is being inappropriate. Dancing is supposed to be fun.
    BTW, Englezul's comments are awesome.
  13. englezul

    englezul New Member

    That's interesting. But unless you're the top CIA agent your pupils will still dilate when you lie, your breathing will still change, your skill will still change complexion. Women will pick these changes up instinctively, they are better aquainted with social cues and body language than men are.

    Also, about this thread you seem to be missing the point.

    It looks to me you're trying to comfort yourself with a false sense of security. Trust me, by the time you rationalize that you're interested in a woman, she already knows it. And also, if someone doesn't tell you straight up that they think you're lying it's not because they can't tell, it's because that conversation will not lead anywhere. That doesn't mean they don't know, they don't suspect anything or that they even care.
  14. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    LOL Englezul. I kinda agree... ;)
  15. road2graciousness

    road2graciousness New Member

    I think the trouble with lying is not that the other person may well figure out you're lying, the real issue (I think) is that you know yourself that you're being dis-honest, and that your integrity is in question.

    It's not so much what the other person thinks about you, it's what you think about yourself.
  16. sweavo

    sweavo New Member

    Yeah. If you're going to lie, doing it unconvincingly is actually more clear and more honest.

    He: "Want to come to dinner tonight?"
    She: "I'm washing my hair!"
    He: "How about tommorrow night?"
    She: "I'm drying it"

    - from some movie I can't track down on imdb, though I feel it must have been Bernadette Peters saying it.
  17. englezul

    englezul New Member

    I actually like this, it's funny, but it's more 'advanced' and harder to pull off because you have to do it in a way that's just humorous and sends of an unattainable vibe that is actually somewhat flirty and doesn't make her feel uncomfortable.

    Chances are that if you're not good at this kind of thing you'll send off the 'you're not good enough' vibe instead which is just not cool.
  18. LovingIt28

    LovingIt28 New Member

    The scary thing is that she would probably like me more after that :)

    You know crazy thing, like a girl and be nice = do not see you that way.

    Not really interested in girl = infatuation

  19. LovingIt28

    LovingIt28 New Member


    TOo funny. Windy. LOVE IT!
  20. LovingIt28

    LovingIt28 New Member

    Great replies and comments all round. MANY THANKS!!!

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