Salsa > Getting asked out my dance partners but not interested in that way...

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by LovingIt28, May 19, 2007.

  1. Ron Obvious

    Ron Obvious New Member

    Remember: It's not a lie if you believe in it. I think it's also a Seinfeld quote. You just need to have access to the most distorted, devious mind that ever existed, and you'll be able to do it. But how to teach it, that's another issue. It's like saying to Mozart: teach me how to play the piano.
     
  2. anp73ga31

    anp73ga31 Active Member

    I had a similar problem with a guy at our studio. He was just as obtuse as this girl you are describing, if not more. I kept telling him, "I just come here to dance. I dont want to date anyone. I just want to dance." (which was and still is true) He never got it and kept hanging around, trying to get me to dance every dance with him. Whenever a group of us would go out to dance and he was there, if I wasnt there when he got there he kept asking everyone where I was. And once I got there and when I would dance with other people, he would sit on the edge of the floor, glaring at us. People started to think we were together. People started not asking me to dance. It was a really bad situation. I was even rude to him and only answered any questions he asked me with a "yes" or "no" but still it didnt work. Apparently any form of communication at all he would take as a sign that I might like him. I even would go to the restroom or grab someone else to dance when they played a song I knew he would come after me to dance with him to. Finally, after my dancing friends were all like, "you have to get rid of him, he's getting creepy and someone is going to get hurt", I finally sent him an email (in response to yet another one of his advances) and wrote something to the effect of, "I hope you arent waiting around for me to date you like everyone thinks you are, because you are wasting your time. I will never date you and you have such an unpleasant attitude that I dont even like you very much, so please leave me alone!" And finally, he got it. He has not shown up at the studio, nor has he emailed me. Finally......(insert sigh of relief here)

    Anyway, I say all this to say that some people are just so very obtuse, that there is nothing else that you can do other than be blunt and honest with them and forget about hurting their feelings.
     
  3. Shooshoo

    Shooshoo New Member

    I think it's best to be honest. The feelings can be hurt in anyway, honesty and straightforwardness will just make it quicker.
     
  4. LovingIt28

    LovingIt28 New Member

    Hopefully the situation is sorted.

    She messaged me at the weekend inviting me to the movies with her. Sweet girl and I am flattered. I do like her guts and moxy but just do not have that necessary deeper buzz.

    Replied,

    Thanks for the invitation. Just want to stick to dancing only. All good :)

    No reply. Should be settled.

    Many thanks everyone!
     
  5. BugBear

    BugBear New Member

    Still, keep us posted on how things are going. For all you know she could've destroyed her phone in a fit of rage. :)
     
  6. sweavo

    sweavo New Member

    Yes, she might go into the "if I can't have you NO-ONE WILL!" stage.
     
  7. waltzgirl

    waltzgirl Active Member

    If that doesn't settle it, buy her a present--that "He's Just Not That Into You" book.

    (Just kidding--that would be very mean.)

    Sound like you handled it in a good way. Hope all is peaceful from now on.
     
  8. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    :uplaugh:
     
  9. englezul

    englezul New Member

    It's not a lie if you believe in it, but arriving at that point of believing it and encompassing everything that ties into the practical and psychological aspect of doing it, in other words exerting control upon layers upon layers of subliminal communication is the challenge here.

    So all in all what you say is true, but in terms of practical application it's useless because of the amount of complexity involved behind the scenes.
     
  10. Ron Obvious

    Ron Obvious New Member

    Yes, except if your name is George Costanza.
     

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