General Dance Discussion > Good Reasons to *Quit* Dancing...

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Matrix, Aug 14, 2005.

  1. Matrix

    Matrix New Member

    Sometimes when you are too much into your dancing, attend to many socials, too many workshops, too many classes, take private lessons, join a dance team, and are a devote club goer... dancing can start becoming something that holds you back from personal progress, makes you neglect your family and loved ones, destroys your relationships, makes you a bad employee (tired all the time, posting on DF, thinking of dance all day long), ruins your physical appearance (bags under your eyes), and makes you feel sooo apart from normal society.

    So, let's assume you realize that you are simply too much into it and you should have taken it with moderation all this time, as nothing productive or essentially good has come out of it, you are a bit fed up, you are already a great dancer and you don't plan on making it a living off of it, you want to do other things in your life, you realize you have abandoned yourself, your family, and loved ones, you want to promote in the work-place, you might want to start your own business or take more seriously the one you already have, etc. So, if that's the case, how would you work on finally quitting dancing so much?

    Are those good reasons for quitting?

    What do you consider to be a good reason for quitting?

    Have you ever felt like dancing has really affected your life in a negative way?

    Just some thoughts...
  2. chandra

    chandra New Member

    Im trying to avoid this, because I can sooo see it happening to me. Im just sixteen, and I have around 6 privates a month, much more this month. I dance atleast an hour every day, and do nothing but work and dance.

    I think the only good reason to quit is when you feel dancing does nothing for you anymore. You will know when you want to quit, and no one else can tell you.

    Thats the only thing I can think of. quitting something that has a huge part of your life can be hard, trust me I know. (acting, then circus arts, both I spent 1-5 hours a day on at one point in time) But also, when Its time to quit, somewhere deep inside you know. Its hard admitting it to yourself, and even harder admitting it to those around you. (especcially when youve been saying "Youll see, Ill make it" for years)
  3. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    This is a great topic, Matrix. :D Let me think a little before I post. 8)
  4. I was taking twice as many private lessons and attending alot of the groups compared to what I've been doing in the last 6 months. I just cut back in order to find some balance. No reason to quit entirely, unless you just don't enjoy it any longer. Map out a plan and stick to it.
  5. luh

    luh Active Member

    sometimes people got weird thoughts. Or is live like that for you atm Matrix? if yes - i feel sorry. If not - don't bother with things that COULD happen. There are so many bad things that COULD happen. Think about the cool things that could happen. Sometimes more gets ruined with the thinking of something possibly bad, than it actually would do because you might get scared, or angry, or whatever.
  6. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I am into dancing. People have called me a dancing fiend. :oops: I do think that is one reason why I got injured as I already know that my feet cannot take too much. I'm getting back and we will see. I have adjusted and made plans to do not as much, but still a lot and ramp up slowly rather tehn suddenly doing a lot. It isn't only teh time you put in but how intensely you push yourself. For me social dancing is easy. It is the teams that kill me. Now coming back to it I intend to halve the practice time I put in for a while, even if it means no performing.
  7. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    Good reason to quit dancing-

    Broken leg.

    No, just kidding. Good post, Matrix. There have been previous threads dealing with this subject(burnout/overdoing it, etc.) and most of us suggested that it's good to have a life apart from dancing, to have other interests.

    Regarding the question of whether dancing has affected my life in a negative way- I will reply that a couple years ago, when I was a TOTAL salsa addict(as opposed to now being able to control it) I was going to clubs and parties all the time. Lots of fun for sure, but the parties started around 10pm- we would be dancing ALL NIGHT- and this is hellish if you have to work 7 days a week. The smoky atmosphere also bothered me quite a bit. (EVERYONE smokes here it seems... :evil: )
  8. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Smoking would keep me away, for sure. :evil:
  9. dancersdreamland

    dancersdreamland New Member

    I think when dance takes over your life and you can't enjoy it anymore, it may be time to back off and rest...but I don't really think quitting is the answer.

    I think probably the only reasons I would consider stopping to dance is if I simply didn't enjoy it anymore or physical injury/limitations. Even then I would probably still find a way to incorporate dance into my life in some form.
  10. lynn

    lynn New Member

    i think for me the major one would be time commitment. Given that i'm both working and studying at the same time, it's difficult to come up with any extra time for other activities if i'm fully focused on dancing.
  11. luh

    luh Active Member

    do one other hobby besides the thing you do so much (doesn't have to be dancing). That helps a lot. Computer sciences and dancing fits very well together for example. they are SO non-related. So if you get too much of one, you'lldo the other one and have fun with that.
  12. dancersdreamland

    dancersdreamland New Member

    True...although I just have to share. I decided to build a website, as a hobby and it completely was taken over by dance...
  13. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    Pour moi, other musical events. Also, living in a "foreign country", there's always something culturally cool going on.
  14. luh

    luh Active Member

    websites are boring. try something else. (oh - never ever you DARE to take frontpage - it creates such an UGLY code..)
  15. chandra

    chandra New Member

    lol, good boy luh.

    front page is the devil and must be burned at stake.

    Thats an offly prejaduce (sp?) statement by someone with what, 4 websites?

    lol, its ok, I still love you luh

    edit: spelling :oops:
  16. luh

    luh Active Member

    4 websites? *counting* but i've written all code by myself. And maybe write one for a nice df-wcs-kitten?
    *feeling great - and tired* ;)
  17. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Having thought about this a bit, I've come to the conclusion that abruptly quitting dancing is just the flip side -- just as extreme as letting dance take over your life in the first place. :?
  18. africana

    africana New Member

    This isn't really a hypothetical situation is it ;) (at least I've read enough background info to know)
    (1) It's time to ask yourself WHY you are really committing to all these dance-related activities
    -Is it to climb a social ladder?
    -To be associated with important people?
    -To be known or famous or seen as "the best"?
    -To pick up women/men?
    -Or maybe just for the simple pleasure of dancing?
    The answer to this question will solve much frustration!! It will also determine what path you take towards scaling back. I know from experience.
    And I say "scaling back" because a truly passionate dancer never quits cold turkey. You might stop going to the clubs for a while, or attending congresses or or classes and such, but whenever you hear that music, your heart will start to dance and your feet follow before you think about it.
    But this is only true for the real dancers, who dance with their spirit first and then with their feet. This is not true for people who rely on patterns to dance.

    (2) Is it time for a change of scene-ry?
    this question occured to me because I know just how toxic certain salsa scenes can be for some people (great example is the one you live in)

    Once you stop worrying about impressing certain people, you'll find yourself only committing to activities that really interest you, instead of always trying to "keep up" with the latest happenings. You might change your club preferences, change your dance style (example from flashy to for-fun-only)

    Also think about doing some traveling. It has some great rejuvenating effects, getting away from familiar faces, seeing new people , new styles, new music, etc

    (3) Is it worth it?
    I think you already answered your own question about having other priorties. So manage those priorities (I know, easier said than done ;) ) and know that dancing is ALWAYS THERE whatever you do.
    When I had an intense school program it was time to back off from dancing so much to do what I needed to do, and at the end I could go out and party.
    But even in between I still fed the addiction by dancing at home, playing my CDs, watching videos.
    Going clubbing has nothing to do with truly dancing.

    I'd write more but I'm running late for yoga
  19. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    After a re-read, my answer sounds flippant to me. I'm sorry, Matrix. 8)

    Yeah. I've had a few dance crossroads like that, as well, where I've sat back and looked at the time and money I was spending and thought, "Why? What am I getting out of this?" It's really hard to find a balance, because dance and dance "stuff" just sort of sucks up your life, one piece at a time, sometimes. :?

    Whether you're talking about yourself or someone else, I don't know. 8) So I'll just ask some rhetorical questions. Not necessarily to you, just to anyone in the situation you describe. 8)

    Is it possible to take a break from something, rather than just quit all-together? Is it possible to get somebody else to cover the bases while you take a couple weeks off to reconnect with your non-dance life? Is it possible to live up to the dance current commitments, but not take on any additional commitments for a while? Is it possible to delegate some of your "stuff" to other people? Or quit some things, but not everything?

    It ain't easy. That's for sure. 8)
  20. Matrix

    Matrix New Member

    I once met a great Flamenco dancer (I simply loooove Flamenco & red wine, they go great together :) ) and complimented on her dancing. She and I had a small conversation and it went into how long it had taken her to get that good. In the midst of all that, she told me: "This dance has costed me 2 marriages." and then added: "one of them I wish I had kept; the thought of it haunts me as you only live ONCE." As we talked more, I could tell that she had really been impacted by all of this. --- If she had not taken the time to practice, practice, and practice more, while performing, teaching, etc. (making a living out of her dance), she probably would've never been sooooo awesomely good ... but she probably would've never lost so much to it.

    Well, when you surpass the 'normal' level of dancing, you realize that you could get better, and then you realize you could get better, and then you realize that you could get better, and so on... It's like playing pool... to get good it takes only a few months, but to get really, really good, it takes years... little steps at a time. That alone can consume your life, many years of it, lots of your energy, etc, etc.

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