Dancers Anonymous > Have you got involved with your dance partner before?

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by yoyao, Mar 6, 2004.

  1. yoyao

    yoyao New Member

    well, it just seems that somehow, I always fall for my partner...which can be a bonus or sometimes can be really trouble..
     
  2. dancin_feet

    dancin_feet New Member

    Never actually fallen for, no, but can see how it would be so easy to intepret it as that.

    Have had the "connection" with a partner and liked :wink: a certain move or the way I feel when I'm dancing with someone, but have never confused that with falling for them.
     
  3. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    yoyao, do you mean a long term dance partner (comps or teaching etc.) or a social dance partner?
     
  4. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I've fallen for someone that I've dance with socially, but isn't that what we want...a partner who likes dancing? :? :)
     
  5. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    :?: i dont quite get the meaning of ''falling for" ie.. as in crush or as in love?

    in social dancing i got alot of crushes.. some ladies are just so yummy one just cant help himself :oops: .. then again thats a nice thing to happpen for the dance .. personally i dance on another plane when in such a situation.. every thing, every move and touch are more pronounced and felt .. its like every cell comes on alert .. a wonderful kind of high on its own merrit..

    but nothing serious came out of it so far..
     
  6. IvyAB

    IvyAB Member

    I've dated a former professional partner of mine, and let me tell you, BAD idea. Our professional relationship deteriorated. When we were happy in our personal relationship, he'd want to "cuddle" on the dance floor instead of practicing, and when we were fighting, we were FIGHTING. We always wanted to prove the other wrong, we were competing against each other, instead of being a team. I will never get romantically involved with another dance partner. Friendship is the way to go.
     
  7. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    No, but there is a guy I did have a major chemistry with before we danced and then when we did, I was a jibbering wreck - Donald Duck would have appeared like a professional next to me :oops: :!: :lol:

    As dancin_feet said, I can see how it could happen/easily happen - until such time as you have to start talking about who is going to cook/get the groceries that evening :?
     
  8. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    AGREEEEEE!
    Eventhough I am no professional, dance partners who have feelings for each other (crushes or serious) are potetially damaging to the partnership. I've experienced it both ways (giving & receiving).....BAAAAD idea.

    On the other hand, if you fall for someone then go dancing.....that's a different story :wink: ........
     
  9. ShyDancer

    ShyDancer New Member

    I agree with Sabor here!

    Lots of crushes....there is one staff member in paticular who never fails to make me behave like a fool around him, words dont come out right, my feet seem to separate from my body and wind up moving totally different than I want them too :lol: :lol: :lol:
    He is such a nice guy I dont even think he notices. :lol:
    My sister was a classic though...she was SO intent on eyeballing her current crush that she totally missed a lead in a mambo and nearly wiped me and my partner out :shock: :shock:
     
  10. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Crushes are inevitable, don't you think? I haven't had one yet, but then, I haven't had a real dance partner until now, and he's a cutie. Uh oh. LOL.
     
  11. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    Isn't it ironic how this thread poped up recently...?

    I have a confession to make, guys. My dance partner from 14 yrs ago had just asked me to go out with him :shock: .

    We are not doing anything professionally together (at least not right now) but still tear up the floor whenever we dance; eventhough we havn't spent that much time dancing together over all these years.

    I have never thought of him in that way, but he is a really nice guy & a good friend......considering my recent experience, I am very tempted to give him a chance.

    What do you all think...?
     
  12. Genesius Redux

    Genesius Redux New Member

    Absolutely, Salsa, go for it!

    I'm not a professional dancer, but I am (when I can get the work) a professional actor, and I am in 100% complete agreement with the don't get personal in a professional relationship--especially in the arts! I've seen too many instances where the chemistry in the real world affects the chemistry on stage.

    As in dancing, theatre and film work can involve you in fairly intimate settings with your fellow actors. At the very least, you frequently find yourself in a relationship offstage that is affected by what you have to do onstage--a passionate kiss while your actual girlfriend/boyfriend is sitting in the audience. You protect yourself from the fallout by cultivating a friendly relationship with the person you're performing with, and you agree mutually to leave what's onstage onstage.

    Since you're not currently working together, there seems to me no reason at all why you can't explore other options. You build that personal relationship, and then if you want to take the plunge and try dancing together professionally again, you'll have a whole personal history behind you. That's much better than having a professional relationship that you try to make personal, and much more likely to be easy on you personally and professionally.

    And that's my "Dear Abby" column for today! :wink:

    Best wishes,

    Genesius
     
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I agree with Genesius. Go for it. There's nothing to stop you from doing so now. Take it slowly, and keep me posted, of course. I really care about you, and want all to be well. But I also want you to be happy. 8)
     
  14. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    I say go for it! If he is a nice guy than the worst case scenario is that you end up just being friends after all... but an already solid friendship is an excellent basis for something more.

    Best of luck.
     
  15. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    Listen to your heart and your head... do what you think and feel is right.
     
  16. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    Update.

    Just had a 2 hour conversation with my partner "el Washing Machine". I have decided to put the brakes on things a bit. He will be leaving in a week to Mexico (for 4 weeks), and I am still working on a few issues myself, so I think it's best to do nothing until later 8) .

    How much infatuation do you have to feel to get the dating ritual started...? Can non at all be healthy.....? (ie. is "he's a nice guy & I want to give him a chance" a good enough reason....?)
     
  17. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    just be honest-- to yourself and to him. I don't see harm in dinner (i.e. give him a chance) it won't make him your boyfriend.




    lol as if that's ever done me a lick o' good :p
     
  18. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    :!: how many of us actually take our own advise....? :!:
     
  19. Genesius Redux

    Genesius Redux New Member

    Well, you know yourself best. Giving it some time, like you're doing, seems like you're a little reluctant. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I've never entered any relationship unless I was fully committed to it, not like wedding bells or anything, but more like I can't stop thinking about her, I'm constantly wanting to tell her just stupid little things that happened to me, etc. etc.

    Let me tell you a story--I had a good friend with whom I had done a show not two years ago. She had also begun dancing. At the time I knew her she was going through a divorce, and I was recovering from one, so it just didn't happen--though we both turned the idea over in our heads.

    Later, we both took acting gigs on a cruise ship (different times), met some of the same people, shared a lot of experiences, blah blah blah, you know. When she got off her ship she went to NYC, I stayed in Nashville, but we corresponded. We got to know each other better in writing, exchanged poetry, became rather familiar. Work was taking her back to Nashville and we thought we might explore options.

    Anyway, she came to see me in a show I was doing, and when I saw her afterwards we were really happy to see each other--but it was friendship. I felt obligated to continue to pursue it and "give it a chance," as you say, but she had the smarts to tell me she just didn't think it was happening. And to tell you the truth, I was kind of relieved.

    What we were seeing in each other was really more of a nostalgia for an opportunity missed, not real passion. Because when you feel real passion, there's no mistaking it.

    So this was the best thing that could have happened--we've become very good friends, and we dance together, in fact we may dance even better if I ever get any replies to the question on the ladies position in smooth that I posted today! (hint hint)

    Of course, only you know what you're feeling. Personally, I'm over 30, and my own experience has not been that falling in love is a more calculated thing--the times I've been in love have been just as impetuous, just as passionate as when I was 16. If you don't feel it, you don't feel it, and you can't make yourself change.

    Be true to your own feelings and follow your heart, because it's always right.

    Shoot, I'd never be this direct with you if I didn't know you were living in Australia! (oy oy oy)

    My two cents, and hope it was at least worth the time to read,

    Genesius
     
  20. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    I agree. I get that way too, but only when I feel it. However, the person we feel that way for is not neccesarily the one that's good for/to us :roll: .

    Where do you win...?!

    :friend: Thankyou for sharing......it means a lot to me. We all benefit from (self)storytelling.....both as a listener & as a teller. I do agree with you there, I think he may have decided to take that step because I am the closest available choice that is decent.......AND the fact that we extrude so much passion/chemistry when we dance, it seems a (relatively)natrual/comfortable step to take.

    Isn't it ironic that we all feel relatively anonymous/secure here in DF...? We share things here that we are not able to in our real life. The same reason why I was able to explicitly seek advice on this matter.

    Heck, the world would be a more comfortable place to be if people can be open about things :roll: ........

    BTW, I used to act in threatres as well, it was my passion pre-dancing days :wink: !
     

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