Discussion in 'Funstuff and Inspiration' started by DanceMentor, May 21, 2006.
ftfy There'll be a day of reckoning...
yeah, you may have to social dance with me someday... *grin*
no one could make these up...
Yup, truth is stranger than fiction.
Just got sent this Air Force joke by a co-worker:
A C-130 is cruising along when an F-16 pulls up on the wing. The F-16 jock calls the C-130 crew over the radio: "Watch this!" He accelerates, does an eight-point roll, pulls up into a steep climb with afterburner, and then dives and breaks the sound barrier. He calls back the C-130 and says, "Hey, what did you think about that?"
The C-130 captain replies, "Oh yeah, watch this!" And for the next five minutes, the fighter jock watches as the C-130 continues to cruise along, straight and level. And then the C-130 captain calls, "What did you think about that?"
"You didn't do anything!" the F-16 pilot replies.
"Oh yes I did. I stood up, stretched my legs, went to the head, and got myself a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun!"
haa And I never saw it coming either....
"I just shut off two engines."
Two I heard today:
Q: How do you prevent infections from biting insects?
A: Don't bite them
Q: What did one maths textbook say to the other?
A: Boy, do you have a lot of problems.
I got this error message from another forum last week. Obviously, the admin of this site asks too many questions.
Its like our email service which will only accept email questions for service disruption
Could've been a Freudian slip: were you hungry at the time you wrote it?
Definition of a Freudian slip: when you say one thing but you mean your mother.
Some physics jokes:
A Neutron at a bar is ready to leave and asks the bartender for the tab. The bartender goes, "for you, no charge".
Atom #1: I think I lost an electron!
Atom #2: Are you sure?
Atom #3: Yep, I'm positive!
They recently discovered that photons have mass. Who knew photons were Christians?!
[Massive "groan" alert!]
Why did 7 hate 9?
7 8 (ate) 9
lol so lame, but I should get participation points for it!
I also heard, 'Why was 6 afraid of 7?'
Because 7 8 9.
Ya know what - I think that's how it goes! I knew it sounded a bit funny, just couldn't put my finger on it BUT it works, right? Actually, 9 would hate 7 because 7 8 9.... so the joke doesn't work. Boo for not being able to edit that post
Wait! What did 7 do because it hated 9? 7 8 9!!!
Lol! I'm easy to please.
The email claims that this was a real case transcript:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
'You are old', said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -
Pray, how did you manage to do it?'
'In my youth', said his father, 'I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.'
A women says to her husband while looking in the Mirror
"Oh I am Fat, Ugly."
the husband said
"Well there is nothing wrong with your eyesight!"
Separate names with a comma.