Funstuff and Inspiration > Heard any good jokes? (keep it clean and polite)

Discussion in 'Funstuff and Inspiration' started by DanceMentor, May 21, 2006.

  1. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    'Hedgehogs: Why can't they just share the hedge?'
     
  2. RickRS

    RickRS Member

    Uh?

    (re-read)

    uh? oh... ...OH! I get it!

    :notworth:

    Sorry, I'm a little slow ;)
     
  3. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    I had to look it up. But somehow, "Address to a Haggis" does ring a bell, now that I've done so.
     
  4. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    what do you hear when someone says "let's go for a drink!"...
    [​IMG]
     
  5. Nybz

    Nybz New Member

    Ohhh this is good, actually got a chuckle out of me :D
     
  6. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    course, i like the guys who show up lookin' great. ;)

    but as a generalization, this sure is a good one. LOL
     
  7. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    "I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant."

    M.Burns
     
  8. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Cookbooks can be exciting, what with all the stirring chapters!


    What caused the Dark Ages?

    The Y1K problem!


    What has orange hair, big feet, and comes out of a test tube?

    Bozo the clone!


    I had amnesia once, maybe twice.


    Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
     
  9. Keith & Rita

    Keith & Rita Member

  10. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Another problem caused by deforestation:

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Keith & Rita

    Keith & Rita Member

    A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

    To: My Loving Wife
    Subject: I've Arrived
    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!!
    Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
    P. S. Sure is hot down here!!!!
     
  12. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    To Keith & Rita!!!

    Hilarious!
    :banana:
     
  13. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Corny Dance Jokes...

    Why couldn't the butterfly go to the dance?
    Because it was a moth-ball.


    :)
     
  14. Keith & Rita

    Keith & Rita Member

    [​IMG][​IMG]
     
  15. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Yeah, it just tickles me pink in a "and one time, at band camp" sort of way!

    :p
     
  16. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    More Corny Dance Jokes!

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you have to do" she told her class "is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step side-step and turn around."

    Which dance will a chicken not do ? The foxtrot !

    What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep !

    What is a frog's favorite dance ? The Lindy Hop !

    What dance do hippies hate ? A square dance !

    Two fonts walk into a dance club. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type here."

    :spam:
     
  17. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

    I love that one.

    Alternatively,

    William Shakespeare walks into a bar, and the barman says, "Oi! Get out! You're Bard."
     
  18. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    To Lioness

    :uplaugh: Lioness, thanks, I like that one, too! :)
     
  19. Lioness

    Lioness Well-Known Member

  20. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    To the Fabulous Lioness...

    :uplaugh:

    I could not stop laughing this morning! Thanks, Lioness!!!

    :)
     

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