General Dance Discussion > HELP! I don't have a crush on my dance instructor, and I need advice!

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by wooh, Nov 27, 2014.

  1. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    I feel so left out. How do unleash my inner lust and fall for a dance instructor? (Perhaps it would help if I didn't take lessons from trollish men and women that are awesome but still women?)
     
  2. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Hmm. Wondering if I should drop all of my suggestions at once... or just one at a time, like an advent calendar.
     
  3. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    Try beer goggles. Things always seem more straightforward when in a Modelo induced haze...
     
    Dancing Irishman, twnkltoz and wooh like this.
  4. freeageless

    freeageless Active Member

    You may have better luck unleashing your inner lust and trying to fall for one of your fellow dance students-than trying to fall for the dance instructor. Falling for your dance instructor is more than likely going to be a one way street with you doing the falling-not him or her. In any event, good luck.
     
  5. leee

    leee Well-Known Member

    Maybe you should try to literally fall on your instructor, and then see how things go from there.
     
  6. Wannabee

    Wannabee Well-Known Member

    I've done this, nothing changed. But YMMV
     
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  7. leee

    leee Well-Known Member

    Well then I got nothing. :(
     
  8. RiseNFall

    RiseNFall Well-Known Member

    Hmmm, well, if you can't manage a full-blown crush, what about jealousy of how they treat other students? That's sort of related, would give you something to have angst over, and perhaps it might develop into something more crush-like over time??
     
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  9. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    Two words: baked goods.

    YMMV
     
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  10. SwayWithMe

    SwayWithMe Well-Known Member

  11. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    freeageless- tell me you caught that wooh was joking after you posted... please?

    The most important things to remember in the lengthy journey that is the crush are: perseverance, keen observation skills, ambition, and an acute or chronic mental disorder. Think positive! Be committed! Have bail money ready!

    1. Ya gotta start somewhere to GET somewhere. Be bored from not having the same workload and problems other people have, so you have plenty of time to work on this crush you'll be getting. (option B is to be an introverted forever alone who watched a crappy duckling-swan dance movie that was somehow convincing who takes the plunge because it's not makeup and stunt doubles that make it work, it's determination and heart...)

    2. Decisions, decisions. Choose to do something about it, but not something every ordinary mainstream yokel wants to do, like read books, watch movies, go for walks, shop, have friends, etc. That's so mundane. Ooh, how 'bout dancing? That sounds like something pretentious I could bore people with at reunions. There's a brochure and everything! Wasn't it on the Today show? They told me about green coffee beans, after all... it has to be true.

    3. Walk into a studio that happens to have a picturesque view of the dance floor from its prime location on a busy sidewalk/street to entice you inside. People should all be happy, attractive, dancing, clinking champagne flutes, and wearing nice stuff, like a movie set. Remember: affordable classes aren't as pretty, and nobody can see you in Auxiliary Room B at The So And So Fitness Complex on Somewhere Pike.

    4. Set lofty goals. Realize quickly that good dancers are awesome and pretty and you want to be like them because if you like them, then you know others like them, and you want to be admired like them. The journey is so glamorous and fun, and starts with a dancer makeover. The music-over with the montage makes it seem to go by so quickly, and in no time, you'll be completely bangable, unbeknownst to you until one day, someone sexist jerk wolf-whistles at you on your way to get your pre-Rhythm PSL fix at Starbuck's in your practicewear. You turn and you glower, and bristle... but you're happy to know that whistle's meant for you.

    5. The Customer is always right. Throw a fit if you don't get assigned to a pretty twentysomething with a fauxhawk dressed in Studio Black. You're a paying customer, after all. (points for using those words verbatim).

    6. Imprint upon hot teacherperson of choice as the puppetmaster of your ego and self-esteem because right now, he's the only one who encourages and compliments you, he's the only one who speaks your new language, he is the only one who can stand you (because he's paid to) now that you've become an overnight walking DVIDA/Ray Rose SUPER!outlet (ooh, if that were a thing...), and he's the only one who dances with you... because you growl at all the other people who ask if he's walking in your direction at the start of a song.

    7. Entitlement is Empowerment, and who doesn't love a strong female? The more you pay and do for your teacher, the more he should appreciate you and the more entitled to his reciprocity you are. If money doesn't work, put on a lot of cologne (after stalking him to find out what he likes), make him stuff, buy the building he lives in, have his car towed and pull up just as it's disappearing and he's running outside in a towel so you can offer to take him to work, kidnap his dog and pretend to find it (wait, that didn't work for Thomas... hmm). Text him at 1:30 a.m. to say "Hope you were sleeping well! XOXO".

    8. Money talks- but yours might not be the only voice- make it the loudest! Feel the sadsies when you realize that other people also rent your teacher out? Remedy that by becoming more than the average student- buy up all of his lesson time and live out of your car in the studio parking area, if he won't agree to move into your house to train you. Become frenemies with the remaining other students so you can find out their weaknesses and drop them casually into conversation when you bring Teacher a canoli or a knitted scarf or one of your kidneys in a cooler. You're practically obligated to, after all: You just want the best for him, and he should know all the news about the people around him. It's an investment in your partnership.

    9. Infatuation: What a sensation. Warp that feeling of envy into a deeper misinterpretation of your teacher's treatment of you by wishful obsessing and craving each gush of oxytocin your brain squeezes out when he smiles, says "good- okay, moving on" after a runthrough of a figure, or touches you on the shoulder-blade in passing because you're blocking his way to the john. You'll notice that every time his eyes are open, he's looking AT YOU... because you're ALWAYS there. When he goes to bed at night and finds that ether-scented monogrammed card and a rose-petal with it saying "~*~*~Sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing~*~*~" you can then watch him sleep undisturbed, just like another totally romantic and non-creepy romance about people who sparkle.

    10. By now, others in the studio might have noticed your blossoming transformation, and you'll have developed a few 'h8rz' who want to see your head on a spike next to Sean Bean's. Go to the parties just to sit and talk about how you can't dance with any of these mortals, then roundhouse someone in the face when "They're playing your ringtone" (what does La Destin Ta Tonne da Chance even mean? Who cares, it's three minutes of bronze foxtrot magic with your crushycrush pro) and they try to dance YOUR SONG with YOUR TEACHER. These people around you no longer matter, but there's a whole world of dancers on the internet ready to hear your scoop of Danielle Steel and Stephen King, too: Get tapatalk so you can post all the juicy developments with your crush on dance foru- Oh.

    In conclusion, pay no mind to the people wishing to silence you. They're either insanely jealous of your epic love, or they don't believe that you're the only one who can tame the wild dancing stallion. Prove them wrong! It's different with you! The others just didn't connect with or understand him.
     
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  12. SwayWithMe

    SwayWithMe Well-Known Member

    OMG That was brilliant!
     
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  13. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Hedwaite, I really feel like I have hope now!!!!!
     
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  14. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    See? All you needed was a tutorial novel. Surprised DVIDA hasn't released one of these yet. :p
     
  15. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    This may be your niche. You can be an internationally renowned expert. Heavily sought after for coachings by amateur dancers everywhere!! Time for YOU to make the video!!!
     
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  16. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    "Some sexist jerk wolf-whistles..."

    Hey now!
     
    wooh likes this.
  17. twnkltoz

    twnkltoz Well-Known Member

    I couldn't laugh at Hedwaite's guide because it was too true.
     
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  18. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    heh...
     
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  19. RiseNFall

    RiseNFall Well-Known Member

    All of Hedwaite's suggestions are excellent, but a few additional suggestions to add for this part that might be helpful for some of you. Another way to stake your "ownership" of crushee w/regard to other students in the studio is to drop little bits about his personal life that you have gleaned during lessons in conversation with the other students. Doesn't have to be anything momentous, just knowing more trivial tidbits than the others shows your extra-special relationship with him. Also, while you're sitting out at parties keep your eyes on him at all times to show that you can appreciate his dancing even when it's with other, less important people.
     
    novemberecho, wooh, IndyLady and 4 others like this.
  20. Cal

    Cal Well-Known Member

    And if you "happen" to see a photo of his mom....well, that's no accident. It means he's got feelings for you too, and he's getting ready to introduce you to his family.
     
    wooh, Loki, twnkltoz and 1 other person like this.

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