General Dance Discussion > Hey guys, I definitly need some inspiration.

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by pcperez83, Aug 23, 2003.

  1. pcperez83

    pcperez83 New Member

    well recently got out of long term relationship, and I realized that a good place to meet people is the local nite clubs. I have been going very frequently and I have never understood the importance of being able to dance untill now! I dont mean to put my self down, but I am a horrible dancer!lol. I have never taken any lessons, nor do i want to but I would really like to learn because the ladies seem to love a guy who can dance! is there any tips or advice, someone can give me on how to learn on my own? or where to go, or search? thanks.
    concerned newbie
  2. d nice

    d nice New Member

    Depends on the kind of dancing you want to learn. What kind of music do they play at the night club?
  3. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    Hi pcperez83 . . . welcome!

    d nice hit it on the head . . . what music do the clubs play at the ones you go to?

    Country and western bars/clubs have excess women in them, and they wear those extremely tight jeans . . . (sigh!!!) . . .

    I personally like places that play funky stuff and swing stuff, but have been (lately) going to the places where Salsa (Latin) music is the main theme.

    Pick your poison. Learn to dance . . . it's something and your life-mate can enjoy into your 80's . . . but don't do it for the wrong reason . . . just to find women! Do it for you!
  4. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member


    I could not agree more. Please Please Please don't be one of those guys who are there to pick-up on chicks! I'm not saying that you are but do it for the enjoyment of the dance. That will make you much more fun to dance with for starters!

    Plus if a guy is looking for a relationship it is important to be honest in this sense. If he meets a gal dancing, chances are, she likes to dance. So does he continue dancing after they're together? If he started dancing only to meet someone then does, his motivation to dance is gone... but hers is not. hmmm... dilemma, either way will put strain on that relationship. After a while he may feel that she's always dragging him out dancing or she may start feeling neglected-- after all... she met him as a dancer and and so would have reason to believe that he actually was one. It could lead to dissappointment in this regard.

    On the other hand, she could be there only to pick-up on guys! So who knows! Dance for the dance, friendships come. But I feel it is benefitial to allow the common interest be something strong to build upon vs. work around later. I see it as a person who doesn't personally care for alcohol hanging out at a bar to meet people to later relize... "hey, all these people like to drink!"

    Does that make sense?
  5. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member


    It's a whole new world - the dance world is! There is nothing like it. It is something that you can do alone, but with a partner, it's one of the best three minutes you can have.

    I meet so-o-o-o-o many new people - every event I attend!

    A year from now, if you get into to it right now, I guarantee that you will not be the same person that you are today. But do it for you . . . it is such a shot in the ole' self-esteem! You cannot miss being a winner . . .

    Now get out there . . .5,6,7,8 . . .
  6. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Not to contradict anything said so far, but fate often weaves a funny web…

    In point of fact I started to learn salsa because that was something the woman I was in love with was into. It seemed to me that if it was something she was into I’d better learn…and now look at me! I think the key (and as Swing Kitten hit on) is to be honest about what your doing and why—certainly with others but, even more importantly, with yourself. And this is a good philosophy for everything in life… [For the whole story of how I got started, check out my interview in Dance Notes ]

    I’ll also mirror Vince though…I guarantee that if you really give yourself to dance, one year from now you will be a different person…and better off for it. I may have started because I was in love with someone, but look at the vistas that that fateful happenstance has opened up before me! [A partial listing of the venues where ballroom/dancesport has taken me]
  7. pcperez83

    pcperez83 New Member

    thanks for the advice guys, so whats the best way to learn? and how? is lessons the only way?
  8. d nice

    d nice New Member

    I think there is nothing wrong with taking up a new hobby, especially a social one, if you are fresh out of a relationship. It will help you extend your circle of friends, which is important if you guys have a number of mutual friends, as well as being an excellent source of new experiences and memories with no potentially painfull connections to her.

    Lessons aren't the only way... they are the best way to progress rapidly. There are formal and informal lessons though. You can always ask someone at a club to show you a step or two. Remember though... they are there to dance not to spend a lot of time teaching someone. Plus is that a lot of people who love the dance often enjoy sharing at least some of that knowledge with others.

    I'd recommend taking an introduction class at a local studio, or see about free lessons before or during the dances in your town. After a month or so of regular lessons find someone to take a private lesson with. If all their attention is on you, then they will be able to adjust their teaching to fit you and your wants and needs. You can then take this info and practice. You can decide whether or not to continue with lessons. Chances are after a month of classes and a private lesson you'll have enough of a grasp to be able to execute the basics of your dance socially.

    Personally I find the better I understand the dance, the more fun I have, the more fun I have the more lessons I want to take.

    Once you understand the basics you can learn from videotapes if you like. I have always thought that you must experience a dance before you can learn from a visual/auditory medium.
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I also started dancing because of relationship issues -- a lot of people do.
    But even though the relationship evolved (ended), I fell in love with the dance itself. That could happen to you, too.

    How to start? Hmm. If ballroom is what you're into, you might want to try finding a nearby USABDA chapter. The chapter I belong to publishes a list of local dancing venues, as well as a list of reputable instructors. Reputable is important. There are a lot of sleazeballs out there.

    Then the question becomes private versus group instuction. If you want to become a fabulous dancer, the best and quickest (not quick!) way is to get some private lessons. But, if you're not sure yet, that can be a hefty investment. My recommendation is to try to find an independent instructor that gives short-duration, small group classes. Where I live, there are quite a few that give six to twelve week 'intro to ballroom" type classes with six or eight students. That way, you get to meet some new people and try dancing without having to jump in at the deep end. It's also a good way to "interview" a potential private instructor and to start tapping into the ballroom network around your town.

    Incidentally, many of these instructors are not "strictly ballroom," and also teach swing, salsa, C&W, Argentine tango, etc. And even if not, they'll usually refer you to someone that teaches what you want to learn.

    How you continue, I think, will depend on your goals. Do you want to be a social dancer, just dancing to have fun and meet people, or do you want to be a great, technically excellent dancer one day? You probably don't know yet, so the important thing is to start. You can always decide later.
  10. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Learning to Dance from Video

    Amen to what d nice says about learning from video -- you can learn a lot from video, especially since you can rewind and review until you get it.

    One caveat, though, please, please don't try to learn from video exclusively or until you're ready.

    There's one couple here that are the standing joke of all the ballroom dances -- they learned everything from video, a fact of which they're very proud. And they DO know the steps. The only problem is that they FEEL awful. Stiff arms. Heavy leads and follows. He, at least, feels like 500 pounds of lead. Nobody wants to dance with them.

    I'm all for videos -- I have a bunch of them -- and I use them like d nice says. To supplement what I'm learning from teachers and in class.
  11. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

  12. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    I do! I do!
  13. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

    I think I sense a new club a brewing....

  14. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    I concur . . ."something IS brewing."

    Will you be the President of the club???
  15. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

    I would step up to that responsibility.
  16. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Ummm guys, any chance to do this without all of the embedded quotes? :tongue:
  17. MissAlyssa

    MissAlyssa New Member

    It's possible.. :p
  18. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    Somehow I know you would do a "great" job!
  19. pcperez83

    pcperez83 New Member

    thanks alot guys, i think i'm gonna look into the whole private thing and then do the videos thing! lol
    thanks a bunch!

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