Tango Argentino > How can I kindly refuse if someone constantly ask me to dance ?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Green, Jan 1, 2008.

  1. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    Actually, the word "perv" is more broadly over here but NOT always to describe one who is truly peversed. Case in point: somebody I know in the firm's Secret Santa received a teddybear with the the word "Mo" on the front its bib. Certain members of the employee team squirmed, I, on the other hand cracked up. Loudly. Somebody turned to me and shouted "perv". As in sick sense of humour. And so, it is often used for much lighter transgression and banded about quite frequently. But yes, I agree, one should be a bit more prudent as to how it is used. A man leering at my breasts would be a man leering at my breasts, not necessarily a "perv". A man groping my a*se in a dance would be a man doing just that, I wouldn't lable him a perv. Perhaps he fancies me and its his way of a chat-up line. In response, I'd grab said man by the neck and shove hm against the wall and tell him to back off. And so yes, we shouldn't describe the minutest of behaviours as perverted and weigh the difference between behavour warrants the call of the police and one that can be sorted there and then.
     
  2. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    I'm sorry, but what? :confused:

    Is this a UK / US confusion? Because I'd never use the term that way. I'm happy if someone can come up with a (single word) alternative, however.
     
  3. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    DB: I think the "CN Tower" is in Canada. But yep, like you, I've never heard anyone here describe a gay person or adulterer as a perv. Well, not anyone in my pervy circle of friends, that is.:confused:
     
  4. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Ah, you perv, you. :p

    Umm.... "groper" - I dunno, I don't think that's quite accurate. In that, umm, in some dances, groping may not be, umm, unwanted. So I've heard. From other people. But they've probably pervs.
     
  5. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    If I got a quid for every time a bloke sneaked a peak at my cleavage, held me too tight in embrace, leered at my legs (and yes, even commented upon them) during or out of the dance, pressed his groin against mine, forcing my bum to go back..and back...and...er, even further back etc. etc. I would be a happily well-off bunny. Crikey!! I do suspect some (if not most) guys are getting a bad rep. over something that could be deemed as quite harmless by another a woman or dealt with there and there.
     
  6. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I suspect it's a difference in applications across The Pond.
     
  7. elisedance

    elisedance New Member

    Well, maybe it would be easier for me if I said that was the case but I grew up near Leicester (UK) which is where I gained the aversion to the word.

    It sounds to me that the word 'perv' - like the words 'black' and 'gay' - has gone through a major change by use. So that while it once was 'pervted' or 'socially inacceptable and mentally sick (as one might react to 'pedophile') it is now loosely used to denotes any sexually-unwelcome act. Trouble is that as this meaning has evloved very fast and, apparently, not evenly accross the globe, its 'degree' makes it a true hot potato! thus, as each person seems to agree, we still need something else.

    What also surprises me is that the word 'grope' has also been diluted meaning both 'I've been groped' as in unwelcome physical contact and 'we had a bit of a grope' as in fun behind the sofa :)

    Seems that we are going to have to use a very lumpy phrase such as 'unwelcome sexual attention' or come up with soemthing new. We could use the acronym - oops, no we couldn't :D

    any other ideas??
     
  8. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Hmmm, tricky one. For the moment, I'd suggest "Dance perv"...
     
  9. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member


    Like in, ballroom tango is a perverted form of tango?
     
  10. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Lol! Nice one.
     
  11. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    How about "Sleaze"?

    :D
     
  12. nucat78

    nucat78 Active Member

    Hmmm, have to try that.. :lol:

    Now that's just KINKY, you perv.

    I think groper is good. A 40 year old guy feeling up a 30 year old woman would be a groper while a 40 year old guy feeling up a 16 year old girl would be a pervert in my understanding of colloquial American English.
     
  13. elisedance

    elisedance New Member

  14. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Well, this has been interesting. I was unaware that in British usage, "perv" appears to be a prejorative term for a gay man. In American usage, it describes the kind of guy who goes to an adult movie theater in a raincoat. :rolleyes:
     
  15. elisedance

    elisedance New Member

    The english usage was, if I am correct, a non-selective term for any deviancy but the US usage you describe is another reason why it is not the term of choice for the dance jerk.

    OTH maybe we all know what a dance jerk is....
     
  16. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    Naaaah..that word has already been done. For New Labour.
     
  17. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    No, it's really not, at least not to my knowledge. Who said it was? :confused:

    Nope, I don't think that's appropriate - "jerk" is a US-specific term. And "dance jerk" - to me - could mean someone who jerks you around physically during a dance, which is a completely different category of refusenik.

    Two nations separated by a common language...
     
  18. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    Too late. That word has already been done. For New Labour:friend:
     
  19. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    Over here, a 40 year old bloke groping a 16 year old girl would be "out on a promise". Ha, ha, ha.
     
  20. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    This is not true. One or two may use it but this is not generally accepted as the norm and would be generally deemed as insulting or better still "frightfully not cricket" towards the gay community. Many a tourist have travelled these shores and wrongly misinterpreted our Anglo Saxon phraseology.
     

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