General Dance Discussion > How dancing shapes you from a woman into a lady.

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by SPratt74, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Oh, there is one way, but I don't think you would have appreciated it. ;) I once had the experience of doing a tango with a lady in a miniskirt, and when we did a corte, she surprised me by stepping into it a lot further than I thought she would, and, well, there wasn't a lot left covered... :shock:
  2. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    For AT I'm finding it really difficult.

    Slits on the sides may or may not work, depending on how high they go--they need to be pretty high. Things with the slit in the front/off-center front would be ideal, but I haven't run across anything. Except in a video online--I found a dress I absolutely covet. If only I had the confidence to really pull it off...although for that dress I think I'd have a shot of something and fake it!
  3. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Hence the purpose of long fringe on a lot of AT of both worlds.:cool:
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    ya know...if I knew him better I'd have hiked it up without a second thought and for you cornutt...anything;)
  5. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

  6. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Oh I so know what you mean! There are some dresses that I'm like if I could pull that off, but just getting them on me would be a chore for even the best of designers lol.

    But yeah... the two skirts that I have... have slits that go all the way up to maybe an inch below my rear. I'll only wear them for dancing. But you can't see anything with the slits being cut like that. I make sure of stuff like that now before I buy the item lol! But anyways, the skirts that I have work fine for AT, and are kind of fun and sexy to wear at the same time! ;)
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Do you live anywhere near a Stein Mart? They have a nice selection of "cocktail" wear, and I've lucked out and found quite a few danceable skirts and dresses there. :cool: The prices are moderate but not great -- discounted from high-end department store, but not a bargain, IMO. So sign up for their discount card and wait for the sales or coupons. But still. Almost every time I've been there (but especially during the holiday season) there's been a wide selection of after five wear that included danceable skirts. :cool:

    And don't be scared off by the old-lady sportswear section. lol.
  8. anp73ga31

    anp73ga31 Active Member

    I'm coming in on this a little late and I apologize for intruding, but I just wanted to say that although I'm not sure about the lady part, in regards to what you guys have said about dancing changing you....dancing has definitely changed things about me. I guess I would say what a previous poster has helped change me from a girl to a woman(I'm still working on that, yes, even at my age...I'm slow!). I have always been very shy, although I've found that age has been good to counteract that! At any rate, I have always been the type of gal who really just didn't care for extra attention(my shoulders will always be tilted forward and down from years of "dont look at me"... yes, mom, I realize the stupidity of that now!), and getting all fixed up was just too much of a hassle not to mention frustrating, as my sister seemed to have gotten all the "I can make magic" genes with regards to hair and makeup and I apparently got NONE. Lol! Anyway, dancing has helped me be more comfortable in my own skin. It has improved my posture and my attitude about myself(although I have a long way to go). It has increased my confidence; It has been my sanity in this crazy world(I've had alot of stresses over the last year). It has definitely gotten me used to wearing heels(I was a flats girl). And last, but not least, it has made me want to buy lots of sparkly tops, and skirts that would look good twirling around the floor! My poor fashion conscious sister is like, "Why did you buy THAT? That's just tacky!" Hee hee! Thats when I know its PERFECT for dancing. I guess you can say that dancing has helped me find my more showy side. I sincerely hope it continues in the future! :)
  9. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    When did this thread go from OP's subject to hiking up skirts? I was following the subject up to a couple of pages before... Sheesh!

  10. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Love it! :cool: :D
  11. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    gotta confess... went into this tacky wig store and for like two bucks bought these gold sequined slippers and even I have no idea what on earth I was thinking...something strange happens in the mind of ballroom dancers....starting to wear the glittery eye shadow on some days that aren't comp days as well...very scarey
  12. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Hehe, I just barely stopped myself from buying some sequined slippers with the plan to wear them to and from socials. And I keep eyeing these horrible seqined scarves....
    The sad thing is, my regular wardrobe is scrubs at work, and otherwise, khakis and a white t-shirt, or jeans and choice of white/black/grey t-shirt. WTH happened to me?? I don't even do comps, so it's not like it could be the glare off all the swirling stones warped my brain!!
  13. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    yup...I KNOW....a year ago I would have looked at that store and thought it was strictly for hookers....this year I strolled right in like I had found the hope diamond
  14. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    It seems nigh impossible to keep a balance between tacky and classy. :rolleyes:

  15. DancinProf

    DancinProf Member

    This is a fascinating topic! I've only been taking lessons for a few weeks but found myself pondering these ideas almost from day one on the dance floor. I have...approximately three thoughts.
    + Someone (Tanya?) mentioned that the dance floor is one of few places where sex roles remain solidly defined. Although that kind of firm definition has its downsides, I have found it pleasant. Certainty about one's role (if only for a few hours a week) can be a relief.
    + I did ballet & jazz as a kid--even took some jazz classes as recently as last year and was doing figure skating till I moved. So ballroom dance has not been the crash course in body awareness for me that it has been for some. It has, however, been a crash course in being comfortable with proximity. I don't even hug people other than family or very close friends, and I am shy in social situations. Being able to start conquering these anxieties is already making me feel more confident in the rest of my life.
    + For me (and I consider myself a feminist), the great dilemma of feminism is whether women legitimately can apply the power of our sexuality. That is, must we, or should we, sacrifice our "feminine wiles" in the name of equality? Or is it okay to be a tough, smart, independent career woman who also sometimes turns on the charm at the auto parts store to get the guy behind the counter to install my wiper blades for me? (to take an example from my own life!) As an intellectual (aaack) I've usually considered myself a brain first and a woman second, but I think there's an argument to be made that such a view is equivalent to cutting off one of my arms. Am I denying a part of myself so I can feel more legitimately "equal"?

    I genuinely don't know the answers, but I feel like ballroom dancing is bringing those questions into sharp focus for me: IMO, one can't dance without leveraging one's sexuality, and having permission to do it in one setting might make it seem more possible to do it in others.

    I promise not all my posts will be this long.
  16. noobster

    noobster Member

    Sure, it's fun, isn't it? :) Honestly, I don't think sex roles are ever going to disappear completely. First of all, some of are biologically ingrained; and second of all, they're enjoyable when they are not overly restrictive.

    Modern Western society is currently in the midst of a role-shakedown, with a bunch of things that used to be assigned to a particular gender transitioning to gender-neutrality. But when the dust settles, I really doubt we're going to have an androgynous society. Human society is so heavily defined by sexual behavior, and sex itself is so fundamentally and irrevocably gender-roled, that we're never going to erase all the little trails that our sex lives leave across the other ~23 hours of the day. I hope what we'll end up with is a large, mostly gender-neutral territory for creative and productive functions, with plenty of room in our social and sexual lives for the enjoyable diversions of gender roles.

    DancinProf, I won't ask your age, but I've noticed that women of one generation (say, over 40) seem to view this as a genuine dilemma, whereas the under-30 crowd doesn't appear to see a conflict at all. I think older women grew up with the notion that 'achievers' were more traditionally men, therefore associated achievement with masculinity, and so deduced that they would have to suppress their femininity in order to achieve.

    But many younger women have always been comfortable with the idea that they could be 'achievers,' so don't see any inherent conflict between their identities as women and as competent, productive individuals.

    Re the question of whether we must "sacrifice our feminine wiles," I'd say it's purely an academic point. In practice, women are unlikely to forgo the advantages of wiliness in the name of abstruse feminist ideology. (Where was Germaine Greer when you needed your wiper blades installed? ;))
  17. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    welcome to DF...;)
  18. DancinProf

    DancinProf Member

    And I am purely an academic, so perhaps no surprise that I brought it up. *grin*
    Although you didn't ask (thanks), I will cop to being 33 years old: I fall between the two age groups you mention and so maybe I'm just confused!

    LOL...that's true! I told a (single) friend the other day that it's worth getting married just to have someone to open jars for you.

    fascination, thank you for the welcome.
  19. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    you are welcome...and can post as lengthy a post as you like :)
  20. reb

    reb Active Member

    Welcome to DF and glad to hear you're dancing. Dancing is a great thing.

    I just spent an evening reviewing Engineering research projects at UC where most (not all) of the male research professors consider themselves a brain first and human second - for them, it's their life-long immersion in that environment. I don't think they think of it as an issue of being male, it's just that they operate according to their own priorities, which to the general population seems odd.

    I have a sister who is a Dean of Engineering at a large University (not just a professor, not just a dean, but also past president of an international engineering organization, plus presidential honors for mentoring young women in engineering, etc) and a wife who is a high-level consultant for a major consulting corporation. They are both tough, smart, independent career women - that's one of the things I love about them! They are also real women and I believe they truly enjoy the 1001 aspects of life that women enjoy doing that us men can only watch and wonder in amazement. I don't see them valuing using 'wiles' to get something, and when it happens ('cause they're pretty too!), it's probably more just a matter of course, than the focus of working to level a playing field. I think they relish the differences and go with it. They have plenty of power using their natural abilities - understanding, patience and kindness are some of the tools of their trade. Not sure about the turning on the charm to get something as a way of leveling the playing field. Turn that around, and for a guy we'd have a lawsuit on our hands . . . Taking a leson from them, I'd say, enjoy being a woman and invitingly allow things to come you. Sounds like you're already very well accomplished and successful.

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