Country and Western > How Do I Get My Boyfriend Involved?

Discussion in 'Country and Western' started by California, Jun 15, 2007.

  1. California

    California New Member

    I love to dance and have for years. My boyfriend is not into dancing but would rather just "watch" He has 2 left feet....I've tried to get him to take lessons with me and he is just not interested. I try to make it fun and build his confidence but nothing has worked...any advice?? Thanks!
  2. kayak

    kayak Active Member


    Is he really not interested or just afraid of not being any good? Most guys don't like being viewed as terrible at anything. We expect ourselves to be and are expected to be good even if we have never done anything like dancing. I know the fear of not being any good kept me from starting for a long time. It isn't until someone has been dancing for a while that they realize even the pros mess up. They are just better at covering up the mistakes :D

    If he might be interested, set a goal of learning ten "moves". Each time I would take a beginner class, they never covered enough material to actually have fun dancing. Nothing scares a guy like trying to do a WCS next to some good dancers with tons of interesting turns when all he knows is a sugar push and left side pass. It is a terrible feeling when a guy realizes that his entire leadable selection only filled up 3 seconds of a 4 minute dance:eyebrow: I know the turning point for me was taking the multi-month series in one dance instead of the one night beginner classes. By the time I finished, I could actually lead something fun.

    Also, be sure to take up some interest of his that you normally wouldn't. Then you two are a team and each gets to introduce the other to more shared interests.
  3. waltzgirl

    waltzgirl Active Member

    Propose. Then at least he'd have to do a wedding dance! (Just kidding :)!)

    Seriously, if he enjoys watching you dance and is fine with your dancing with other men, count your blessings and accept his choice not to dance.

    You say you want the fun and connection of dancing with him. But for most beginners, it takes quite a while to get to that point. Are you really going to be happy doing basics with a partner who is busy counting the rhythm or trying to remember his footwork for quite a while?

    If you've been dancing for years, he may not want to spend time being/looking incompetent around you, as he would as a beginner, especially if he thinks he has 2 left feet. Your attempts to build his confidence may actually emphasize the skill differential between you (even when you tell someone they are doing well, that puts you in the position of being qualified to evaluate how he's doing, a superior position). He might prefer taking lessons on his own, so his struggles will be more private.
  4. spectator

    spectator Member

    Q seems to be an expert on this, he had some pretty good ideas for enticing hot young men to tango...
  5. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Quite possibly he is intimidated by your being a better dancer. Maybe you should tell him to book lessons on his own. That way it will be HIS dancing and not "something my girlfriend talked me into". Think about it: wouldn't you feel bad taking lessons with your much, much better than you boyfriend if you were only a beginner? I know I would.


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