I know I'm not the only one who has face this situation, so I'm looking for advice on how to get past it. I have stayed away from salsa dancing for several years, doing other hobbies so now I want to return to salsa, but I can't forget how the attitudes changed towards me the better of a dancer I became. I feel really resentful over being treated sub human in salsa venues because I wasn't a great dancer. Zig zagging across floors for years, at many congresses, and lessons to learn how to dance. I became an ok dancer who could hold his own on multi styles and songs and then suddenly... I'm ok to hang out with? And suddenly I'm getting comments on how they like dancing with me and I dance better than <insert name of newbie>!? I put myself out there, like every other guy, because it was the only way I was going to learn how to dance. I did it because, like every other guy, I love salsa music. I am a musician born and raise, and my family are islanders. And so I did, but it opened my eyes up to a reality, and its hard to explain why it bothers me. Namely, the better at dancing salsa you get, the more women are going to want to dance with you. I don't really blame the ladies for only wanting to dance with the advance guys and giving a charitable "sure, I will dance with you" to the beginners. An ole acquaintance specifically told me that beginners frustrate her and she doesn't learn anything from them. Ladies want to be led by the best opions they have. Fair enough. I got that. I assumed that's why they always congregatated around the intructor-level guys, or the really advanced guys. I never would observe those guys walk accross the dance floor to ask for a dance. Why should he? To contrast my point... When I stopped salsa dancing, I spent a lot of time in S. America learning other styles. (Brazilian, Argentinian). Here is the catch. Everyone treated me great, friendly, with respect. Not a single rude experience. And I was a pretty sucky beginner. Does my point make a little more sense? In South America, Whether I was a beginner or advanced dancer, people treated me great... like a person who enjoyed the music regardless of my dance level. But the way I remember salsa... not anywhere close. I could love the music and culture all I wanted, all that seemed to matter is if I was good enough. So what am I doing wrong? It has been 4+ years now and I would like some sound advice on how to get over this. thnks.