I haven't been dancing long, but am finally coming to grips with being lead, a concept I had a really, really difficult time coming to grips with. It's only now that I relax (thanks largely to dancing way too much salsa) that I can "allow" a guy to lead me. I thought it was just my problem, being horridly independent and waaaaay too controlling, but I heard a couple of guys talking in the studio the other day and one of them, a fabulous dancer in his late 40s, no doubt lamenting the good old days, said, "yeah, all those single, career-women can't be lead.'' At first I thought, "argh, typical", but then I started wondering if there was even an iota of truth in the off-the-cuff comment. Seriously, decades ago, when ballroom dancing was the norm, women were far more "maleable", I'm told by one of my teachers. These days, he's said before, that many of the women (he was basically painting a picture of me) who were single and working had a really hard time learning to be lead. Have any other guys/girls had this experience and if so, do you think it's an individual thing or a generational thing? Also, how do you think a gal can "learn" to be lead?