General Dance Discussion > How often do you take lessons?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by atk, Mar 19, 2007.

  1. Laura

    Laura New Member

    I actually agree with you, Tanya, it's just from years of watching various people agonize about it on various dance boards, it seems to me that some people look at their relationship with their dance teacher the way that they might look at their relationship with their boyfriend. I've seen lots of talk about cheating, letting the person down, feeling guilty, etc etc. It's to those people that I give my words of advice: I hope that if they can realize that it is a business relationship, they will better be able to do what they need to do in order to get what they want for their hard-earned-cash when it comes to dancing.
     
  2. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    I can understand feeling sorry for the other person part. I had this sort of thing, not with a dance teacher, but with a personal trainer. Here's the story. I trained with him (I'll call him P) for about a 18 months, once or twice a week. At one point he told me that he will be moving in about a year. At around the same time he broke his foot and was out of work for several months. During that time I was assigned another trainer who was actually better than P. When P came back, I had to go back to him. I thought about switching to the other guy at that time, but then yeah, I felt sorry for P. He lost several clients over that time, he only had a few months before he was moving, and I decided that since I will have opportunity to switch once he moves, I don't mind continuing working with him until then. Which was what I did.
     
  3. 9dncr

    9dncr Member


    :cheers: Couldn't have said it better! After all you are teh one paying for the lessons!!!!!
     
  4. 9dncr

    9dncr Member

    Back to How many lessons we take a week.

    I have been dancing Pro- Am for 4 years now. I started taking 2 group classes a week and one private a week becuase I was so intent on learning all the dances right away.

    Then I settled in competing and decided to focus on 9dances. I now do 2 private lessons a week- one in Rythm one in Smooth. I wish I could do more but I have to keep telling myself that I have to get the most quality out of the lessons I take so that I can have something to practice since time is of the essence!
     
  5. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Now see the way that I see it is that you can terminate anything without telling a person. Whether that's a good idea for your particular situation or not is up to you, but still.... it's your life. They don't control you, and they don't need to know anything you don't want them to know. ;)
     
  6. anp73ga31

    anp73ga31 Active Member

    perhaps we are too nice and overly sensitive towards other people's feelings. or that is what I have been told, anyway. ;) At any rate, I think its a learning thing. Once you have done it a couple of times I'm sure it gets easier. At least thats what I'm telling myself based on other experiences. I had no backbone as a teenager/young adult, but the older I get I have noticed it has grown quite a bit....apparently it still has alot of growing to do. lol! ;)
     
  7. anp73ga31

    anp73ga31 Active Member

    My sister has done that in both business and personal relationships and believe me it comes back to bite you in the butt tenfold. ;)
     
  8. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    That's why I also said that you have to decide if it's good for you in that particular situation lol. ;) I have done it too, and it always comes back. But still... sometimes its just better to cut off ties and be done with whatever and to move on and to forget about it. :p
     
  9. DancinAnne

    DancinAnne New Member

    It is uncomfortable to 'fire' someone, that is depending on the reason why, but I do think under these circumstances (one-on-one on a regular basis) that it's thoughtful to let the person know that you are terminating. For whatever reason.
     
  10. DancinAnne

    DancinAnne New Member

    It does tend to do that...
     
  11. anp73ga31

    anp73ga31 Active Member

    Yeah, I suppose in certain situations running far, far away would be a very good thing. lol! In my case, though, I will see this person around at local competitions and showcases, plus he knows both the pros I am considering taking lessons from, and it will be awkward for both me and the other pros unless I handle it as delicately as possible. From what I have seen, pros are very careful about stepping on other pros toes (or the ones around here I have dealt with are, at least).

    unhijack
     
  12. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    That's so funny! I love that lol! But I don't think I would run from your pro. He's a hottie lol! j/k ;)

    Yeah that's true. What's weird is that you don't see these kinds of actions amongst other kinds of areas like retail etc. Why is it that dance instructors take things so personally? It is a business after all. Instructors really have no control over their students once the contracts run out (if they are on a contract that is), by which they don't have any control over their students if they aren't on contract, so the student can go wherever they choose. But still... what I don't get is that you don't even see this kind of behavior amongst contractors or anyone else you might hire. So, I know what you mean.
     
  13. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    I think since dance scene is typically small compared to the rest of the population and you're bound to run into each other, unless you're relocating big time, you have to tell the pro that you don't want to take from him anymore. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a lot of potential embarrassment.
     
  14. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Yeah and remember that if they are hurt it's only because you are taking money out of their pocket. They know you are still in dance, and they would rather you spend money on them no matter how good or bad they are. But so what? It's your money and you decide what to do with it. You are only a customer to them. They've got their own friends and so do you etc. It's a business relationship... not a friendship relationship no matter how close you might think you are to them.
     
  15. anp73ga31

    anp73ga31 Active Member

    You guys are totally right, of course. It all comes down to what is best for YOU. I will strive to remember that in the future! :cheers:
     
  16. DancinAnne

    DancinAnne New Member

    Seems rather cynical to me. Like any other business, not all are in it just for the money. I'd like to think that I'm more than just $$ to the pros I work with. In fact, at the comp this last weekend, two of our regular coaches encouraged us to work with other pros that we don't get to see as often. Call me an optimist, but I'd like to think that most of the pros that we work with would just like to see us grow as dancers.

    Here's an analogy... if you shop at a Walmart Supercenter, you can get just about everything, but that doesn't mean they'll always have everything you need. Likewise, no single teacher can give you everything that you need. And many teachers recognize this and are not afraid to recommend someone who may be able to help you in a different way.
     
  17. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    I still think that when you work close with someone, even in a business situation, you develop a stronger bond. You're making it sound too impersonal, and IMO, it's not. Maybe it makes a difference how much you work with the person, too. If you're just taking 1 lesson a week vs. taking 4-5 a week plus competing together - it is probably easier to make a switch in the first situation.
     
  18. Laura

    Laura New Member

    I bet one spends more time with the people at their jobs than with their dance teachers. Yet, the vast majority of businesses that I've been in contact with have "at will" employment, which means they can let you go at any time -- and you can walk out at any time. If someone here wanted to leave their job, and had another one lined up that was better, would they agonize about their work friendships and how their boss would feel, or would they just tell everyone it is time to move on and do it?

    I really think the physical closeness and the vaguely romantic aspects of ballroom dance training can make it seem like more is there than really is. No, it's not necessarily all about money -- but really, unless your teacher is inviting you over for dinner and you hang out and do non-dancing things socially together, I wouldn't consider him or her a "friend" by my personal definition of the word. In my way of thinking, they may be your "work friend" (or maybe I should say "hobby friend"), and you may feel fondly toward each other, but at the end of the day it's a business relationship and keeping that in mind can be a good thing for some people. I mean really, look at the number of times something like "Help, I'm falling in love with my dance teacher" crops up on boards like this....

    I feel very very fortunate that I have formed a (by my definition) real true friendship with the woman who coached me when I was dancing amateur with K. She's a fantastic woman. Our social life together extends way beyond dancing.

    Ask yourself this: Would your dance teacher come over on a Sunday afternoon to help you paint your bathroom? Then you've got a real friend there and yeah you should really consider what you are doing. But if not...well...it's a very good and satisfying work/hobby relationship.

    I'm sure people will disagree with me, because there is no one hard and fast definition of friendship. And that's okay!
     
  19. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    Laura, by that criteria (asking to help with something like bathroom painting) I have no friends at all. Seriously.
     
  20. DancinAnne

    DancinAnne New Member

    I don't disagree with anything you said... but I would actually, if leaving a job, give an explanation, prolly agonize a bit, and then move on. Depending on the length of time at said job, I might keep in touch with co-workers. I suppose it depends on the sitch, just as you said. Thus far I've had nothing but good experiences in the dance world, moving from coach to coach. :)
     

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