How To Compliment A Lady's Dancing

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by LatinDancer006, Nov 6, 2006.

  1. Ever since I've started learning to dance, I've received a lot of compliments from the lady's I dance with. (I'm not bragging. That's not my intention for this thread.) It gives me encouragement to continue to learn and I'm very appreciative of it because I figured if I impressed them I'm problably doing something right. But I also want to be just as supportive of the ladies as they learn to dance. Most of the time I am focused on myself and worrying about properly executing the moves and the leads that I sometimes forget that the ladies are emotionally going through a similar situation. But I don't know how or what to compliment them on, especially the beginer ladies. I usually stay away from complimenting her on her following ability because it feels like a politically correct issue because of the whole women's lib thing. Cuban hip motion is a no-no too because I'd rather not come a cross as being a perv or that I'm interested in her when I'm really not. I'd think that these compliments are more inclined to be misinterpreted by the beginners than the adance dancers. So, what do you lady's like to be complimented on?
     
  2. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    I don't think there's anything wrong with telling someone they follow well. I think that's actually a great compliment to receive. I guess you could say "you dance well." That kind of covers everything. You could also tell her she looks hot.... :)
     
  3. redhead

    redhead New Member

    You could just say" that felt right" or "you got it" if she did the move correctly and it indeed felt good. "You dance well" is too general and might feel like a (white) lie for a beginner, imo.
     
  4. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    I say be genuine and that should usually do the trick.

    Being told by a man that I'm a great follower is one of the best compliments I could receive, believe me. And I don't mind someone complimenting my hip action. Honestly... we move them the way we do precisely so that they'll be admired, y'know? ;)

    Although I do know that some women are uncomfortable about that attention. Someone I know is constantly saying to the men during lessons and practice is "Don't look at my *ss!!!

    Kinda puzzles me when a woman wears tight, low-cut pants in the first place and then is paranoid about that.

    But really the best way to compliment a lady is by your natural appreciation -- "Wow!" "I really enjoyed that!" "You're amazing!" "You've got such great balance"... whatever is your heartfelt truth.

    Makes a woman feel like a million bucks.
    :D

    Samina
     
  5. latingal

    latingal Moderator Staff Member

    I am not a good social dancer, it's not my concentration or forte right now. So, when I do social dance, I am sure I feel like many of the more beginner dancers trying to follow (read that as terrified).

    I have danced several times with a very good (and nice!) lead and something he has done in the past has helped me along.

    Usually if I miss a lead he'll just smile and recover and keep going. But he'll always lead it a second time so I can try again (and I normally will catch it the second time) and he'll smile and say "good one".

    That small acknowledgement not only helps me learn but also helps me to relax while trying to follow. Perhaps it might be a nice technique to have in your arsenal.
     
  6. alemana

    alemana New Member

    compliments i like:

    "man, that was fun!"

    "you dance beautifully."

    "thank you so much."

    "that was a nice little <insert step.>"

    compliments i give when i enjoy the dance:

    "you're great, i'll dance with you anytime."

    "you just made my night."
     
  7. waltzgirl

    waltzgirl New Member

    For beginners, anything that expresses your pleasure in the dance is fine. Following is a skill we work hard at, so complimenting that is fine. (The fact that we have to work to learn it takes it out of the "politically incorrect" arena for me and, in fact, seeing it as something that might demean the follower to mention seems demeaning to me.)

    When I was a beginner, I knew I sucked, so I was touchy about anything that suggested an evaluation of my dancing, even if it was a positive comment. I was probably overly touchy, but it always seemed to be a reminder that the other person was a better dancer than I was. Believe me, I already knew that!

    The best way to be supportive to a beginner is during the dance. When I started my favorite partner was by no means the best dancer, but he always treated a dance with me like an enjoyable social occasion (not a dance exam), stayed within my capabilities, and genuinely seemed to enjoy himself. If he ever complimented my dancing, I don't remember it. But I'll never forget how it felt to dance with him then and I'll always be grateful.
     
  8. marktheshark

    marktheshark New Member

    Perhaps it would be a good idea not to compliment her on
    dancing in general, but to concentrate on a specific element.
    This way she'll both be flattered and consider you as being
    observant at the same time.

    e.g.

    "I love your turns"
    "Your technique is awesome"
    "Your frame is simply marvelous"
    "The way you play with the rhythm is really sexy"
    "Your speed is amazing"

    etc.
     
  9. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I second what Waltzgirl said.

    We work hard to learn to follow well, and it's definitely a skill. To be complimented for being a follower is one of the best compliments I can get--and believe me when I say I'm still (2 years in) having issues with women't lib and following.

    And for a beginner, absolutely the best thing you can do for her is to make her feel like you're having a good time, too. SMILE at her, make a joke of mistakes, reassure her that a mistake is no big deal. She'll love you for it, and will always remember you for it. I guarantee it. Chances are if she's a beginner, she's self conscious that she's holding you back from what would be more enjoyable. Make sure you don't give that impression, and you're golden. If you want to compliment her, tell her you enjoyed the dance and it was fun. (But only if you're expressions throughout the dance back it up.)

    For a more advanced follower, compliment a move, a spin, her hip action (we can tell if you're a perv, and it's not going to come from a comment on cuban motion), or her interpretation.

    Bottom line--a compliment is a compliment. Most of us don't want to look too closely at them. Make sure they sound (or are!) genuine, and it's all good. Just give them!
     
  10. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    Yes yes yes to all above :D.

    Problem with *very* specific compliments like these, unless coming from your teacher, is that they can sound a bit forced -- as if you are trying hard to find something -- anything -- good to comment on. When you dance with someone and enjoy it, just say so. Complements are best when they are a spontaneous expression of what you really feel.
     
  11. little_mouse

    little_mouse Member

    I think nice compliments don't always come just from the opposite sex: I was floored by a complement I received this past saturday night at a dance party from another follower. I'm prebronze and she is silver level--seeing I was about to leave--she came up to me and said "I really enjoyed watching you dance tonight". Wow, that has really boosted my confidence to keep going and not give up dancing.
     
  12. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    That's nice to hear, little mouse!

    I make a point of letting women know when I've enjoyed watching them dance. It's a spectator sport, after all -- great to know someone has spectated! LOL

    Samina
     

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