General Dance Discussion > How to deal with parents and public and short Latin skirts...

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by SPratt74, Jun 24, 2006.

  1. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    they are great guys and do their very best to offer the best features that time/money allow...in spite of the frustrations that folks may have..
     
  2. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    There's a few things that Muslims don't like and agree with when it comes to the Western world. You also have to think of what kind of Muslim they are too. I know his group, which is the Shiites, they can't do a lot of things. The women for example cannot make out with boys and if they get caught fooling around, then they have to marry them no matter the age. I didn't think that was true at first, but I asked around, and yes... it is definitely true.
     
  3. deewoman

    deewoman New Member

    Very good point--my first baby (girl) is due July 19. My big fear in becoming a parent was being worried I'd do the same number on my kids that my folks have done on me! (Parents divorced when I was 4 months old--met my father for the first time 7 years ago. Sent him pictures of me at comp last year and all he could comment on was how revealing the costume was. He's never watched the video I sent him of my dancing--doesn't own a VCR and I guess won't rent one for the occasion or take the tape to a friend's house.)
    My mentally ill mother, on the other hand, is very supportive. Others in my family thought I went off the deep end when I got into dance, but I blow off their comments. There's probably some jealousy there about doing what I want instead of what's expected.
     
  4. chandra

    chandra New Member

    Reading this all makes me feel extremely thankful for my parents! They are suportive of my dancing, even though it involves me spending inordinate amounts of money and missing proportionate amounts of school. THey brag loudly about my travels to everyone they meet. Both of them have been to a competition with me...
    Interesting, because I am young enough that my parents would have the right to be over protective... Hmmm... I have wonderful parents!
     
  5. tanya_the_dancer

    tanya_the_dancer Well-Known Member

    OT, but I remember watching "Mad Hot Ballroom" and there were a couple of kids in there who could not dance for religious reasons, so they were djs instead. I wonder what kind of religions prohibit dancing.
     
  6. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Some of the more conservative members of Seventh Day Adventism frown on dancing. (Like my grandparents.)

    It's not a religious tenet, per se, but b/c of the way SDA is structured, you can find some very very conservative congregations that effectively prohibit it.
     
  7. redhead

    redhead New Member

    I was at some craft fair once and someone was selling those "cutesy" pink little boards with sayings that some people hang in their kitchens. One of them said something like "this is a christian house - no swearing and no dancing allowed". Huh?
     
  8. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    In the school that my (no-sex-ed-receiving, unintentionally-pregnant, forced-into-marrying-an-abusive-husband, kicked-out-of-school-for-being-pregnant) cousin attended, they had school dances. But the girls could only dance with other girls, and likewise for the guys. No mixed dancing, whatsoever, was allowed. Nor were any sleeveless or above the knee dresses.
     
  9. delamusica

    delamusica Active Member

    Wow . . . that was so NOT my (girls-wearing-backless-handkerchief-looking-shirts-and-mini-skirts-used-condoms-in-the-hallway) high school . . .
     
  10. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Don't know if this is the source, but some really old-school Baptists prohibit dancing. They also prohibit the playing of instrumental music, especially in church -- hymns are to be sung strictly as unaccompanied plainsong.
     
  11. alemana

    alemana New Member

    there is an extremely long tradition of frowning on dancing in american protestantism, from the pilgrims onward.
     
  12. africana

    africana New Member

    after 5 years of disapproving of my dancing, a huge breakthrough occured with my parents: about a month ago my mom told me she programmed my ringtone on her cell phone with a salsa song, that's how she knows when I call. Now it may seem silly and not much, but it's HUGE, because they've been very against my dancing in a "christianly" fashion, also due to cultural reasons. In fact I shared once that I was kicked out of the house at one time for refusing to stop going out, and for years I would hide any talk of dancing, or congresses or dance events from them. Still do, as a reflex, but I'm breathing a lot easier. But I'm sure they realize that their attitude is one of the reasons I chose to geographically distance myself.

    And they still have never seen me dance. I almost wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole when I introduced them to some of my friends when they visited for my graduation 2 weeks ago, and my friends had kept going on and on about my dancing....They didn't say anything though :)
    I think they now realize their inability to move me on that front after all these years
    and oh, I'm 25 years old, have proved myself with numerous responsibilities and accomplishments. but did that help anything? No, at least not until recently
     
  13. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    I am SO hoping this will not insult anyone. To all those who are Christians: Doesn't it say somewhere "There's a time for dancing" and "Let us praise the Lord with dancing"? I think it's in the Psalms.
    Just a thought.

    T_E
     
  14. PasoDancer

    PasoDancer New Member

    When I used to go to church, they used to explain Twilight Elena's question like this:

    That was only because King David was doing it. He was a favorite of God's, and let him get by with a lot of stuff until he snuffed the guy whose wife's plow he was coveting. Then God got all snarly, and started to realize that it was dreadfuly impure, lascivious, and inappropriate, and that only BAD BAD PEOPLE would DANCE, especially in PUBLIC.

    No, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but then, (delete editorial on protestantism)... there are a lot of confusing contradictions in scripture translated, added to, taken from, and mixed around by mankind- a lot of it was tailored to suit a particular ruler in the day, or someone who had a cause, and so forth.

    Purple Monkey Dishwasher. :lol:
     
  15. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    With all due respect (and let's not pull "Broadway Danny Rose" into this), it is far too common for people to justify their personal prejudices and community norms and customs by claiming that it's part of their religion. And it's not just by their own doing, but much more often somebody had stuck it in and it's continued to be taught and believed without anyone questioning it. And no, T_E, it doesn't matter what the Bible actually says.

    Now as I understand it, it's not just dancing that creates problems for [most of] them, but rather the use of dancing as a form of intergender socializing. In cultures that discourage or forbid intergender socializing outside of marriage (eg, in Islam), then such dancing can be seen as undesirable. Solo dance or dancing in a group of the same gender should not be as problematic, unless there are other sensibilities that it might assail.

    Also, there could be certain bad associations that would lead to a ban. The Puritans in England banned dancing, cardplaying, etc, not so much because they were intrinsically "bad" or because the Bible said so, but because they were things done by the royal court that they had just ousted. Most of the diatribes that followed against such activities were to justify the bans, not to cause the bans to begin with. Going even further back, bathing was at first banned among Christians because of its association with those evil pagan Romans, not because of any biblical teaching.


    [names withheld to protect] A large Baptist church with a sizable singles population (lots of divorc├ęs and widows) started offering dance classes. Let me be more specific: the laymen within the singles ministry organized these dance classes and a number of singles dances. And it took them a long time to accomplish that task because of resistence from the church leadership. The same church leadership allowed a regular country dance to be held, but they wanted to restrict it to just line dancing in order to prevent the possibility of any married members dancing with someone other than their spouse or -- horrors! -- with a single person.

    I've also been hearing a lot of grumbling amongst singles in a number of "conservative Christian" churches that the churches are mismanaging their singles ministries (placing married, never-divorced pastors in charge, segregating them overly strictly by age [such that a 52-year-old man would not be allowed to meet a 48-year-old woman], treating them like irresponsible teenagers instead of as mature, even middle-aged, adults who have also been parents themselves, and forgetting altogether that they even exist and form a sizable portion of the congregation and have their own set of needs). In Google'ing for discussion along these lines, I stumbled upon a Christian forum whose members were up in arms over one of that aforementioned church's singles dances, roundly condemning the head minister, and even declaring that dancing has no place whatsoever at a church.

    As much as I try to understand their point of view, I still can't.



    PS
    BTW, the reason for my interest and concern about how those singles fare at that church is because I have several friends there who are being affected.
     
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  16. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    In a sweet, silver-lining, kind of way...

    My grandfather (the one whose religious beliefs frowned on dacing) has Alzheimers (sp?). Luckily it's still in its early stages, it can't be denied any more. And, as horrible as the disease is/can be, now and again, if we look, we can find a bit of a silver lining.

    When my cousin got pregnant, just about the entire family was in an uproar. For the usual, predictable reasons. I felt truly sorry for her, because when she needed the most support just about everyone was against her. But my grandfather, with the dementia which has somewhat relaxed his conservative morality, saw the beauty: there would be a beautiful new baby in the family. And now, he's one of the few to truly celebrate and love his great-granddaughter, and fully welcome my cousin.

    And at her wedding (forced, essentially) he experienced the joy of dancing with my grandmother for the first time in their lives. He no longer saw it as wrong, and was able to enjoy the music and just being with her. It would have been unthinkable before, but now he called me, very excited, to tell me about how he had danced. And how much fun it was.

    I don't think I have a point, and I don't mean to slight anyone's beliefs or whatever. But the thread just reminded me of seeing another side to my very religious, conservative grandfather.
     
  17. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Rather OT, but this paragraph reminded me of something: Bowling was banned in New England in the early part of the 18th century. Why? Because it had associations with gambling and "undesirable characters". The trick, though, was that at the time a standard bowling setup had the bowler bowling at nine pins arranged in a diamond shape (like the way balls are racked on a pool table for nine-ball). Connecticut passed a law that banned "bowling at nine pins". So the bowlers said, "well, we know how to fix that!" and they added a tenth pin to get around the law, leading to the triangle-shaped configuration that we know today. Likely, the sport wouldn't be nearly as interesting if we still bowled at nine pins.

    (Says the guy whose father has told him about working as a pinsetter, back when that was a job description rather than a machine. :D )
     
  18. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

    Well, as one who grew up with this background--while never overtly stated, I would say the prohibition was because of "other activities" that might grow out of the dancing. I think my family and fellow church members are still kind of scandalized that I dance with men other than my husband--would probably (change that to definitely!) misunderstand the flirting that goes on, etc. We tried to raise our kids without that mindset--but then no one's perfect and I'm sure we parented with our own set of incorrect notions of things. Without getting too theological, I would say that often there is a misunderstanding of sin as "things that we do" rather than the state of our souls as sinners. Not that there are not sins to commit--murder, etc.--but the intent of our hearts in a lot of what we do is wrong, rather than the action itself. I don't have an answer to the "but what about King David" question any more than the passage about "the Son of Man eating and drinking and being called a drunkard."
    Sorry if too OT.
     
  19. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    And let's be thankful that we're not still working back when a computer was a person and not a machine.
     
  20. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Now that is something that I never knew! You learn something everyday don't you? :p

    I can't believe the number of replies I was given lol. I've been having to work 11 hour days, so I'll get through all of your posts when I have the energy to this weekend lol. Wow! Interesting! ;)
     

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