General Dance Discussion > How to find a dance partner?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by danceguy, Oct 8, 2003.

  1. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    Greetings Everyone,

    I have a question for the more experienced dancers here! :)

    My question is simple, and I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times...any advice for finding a dance partner?

    In these past few months, dance has become a big part of my life. Taking both Latin and Ballroom in one week, then an extra class in Lindy Hop just for fun...and I try to go out dancing whenever I can, usually a few times a month. But as I delve more and more into the scene, I have noticed that the people I meet at dances (in my area at least) fall into two categories:

    1. The highly seasoned experts/spin 20 times in a row Whirling Dervishes/people who have been dancing for years, and tend to always have partners.
    2. The ex disco junkies who can't keep the beat, have had little or no lessons, noodle arms city, or I ain't letting no man lead me (wait we're not wrestling?), well they just like to get out there and have fun (and God bless em!)

    Then I find myself...I suppose I could be called an "advanced beginner"...but I rarely (never it seems) meet people like myself at dances. As I mentioned before, the people from my Beg/Int classes rarely show up at the dances...I think most of them are scared like I had been?

    So, I'm asking those of you who have been dancing for a while...any tips on how to connect with someone close to your level? I imagine the more I dance, the more people I will meet, but I really love this new hobby...and although part of the fun is dancing with everyone...I sure do get bored when I go to a dance and hardly anyone is there, or the other beginners don't know the styles I know and/or its mostly couples who dance exclusively together.

    For example, tonight in my class our teacher was giving us some social dance ettiquette (its was a beginner class), and she just starting putting on random music for us to dance to. Most people in there had never studied any dance before this class and didn't know most of the styles...but I just dove in and went, oh yea, that's a Rumba...let me show off my Intermediate moves *spin* *twirl* *shake them sexy hips!*...oh there's a Cha-Cha...*swivel* *swivel* take that Tito Puente! It was at the moment that I said "you know, I've learned more than I realized here." I know I'm not very good at most of these styles, but compared to where I was a few months ago, I've learned a lot! I know I have such a long way to go...but I really FEEL the music since I used to be a musician...and this is where my passion comes from.

    I blame a lot of it on that Fernando Cruz guy. Yes, Fernando, it's your fault! I have to admit I had my doubts about Salsa Rhythms at first...and as having been into Swing from the band side (playing in a band) feeling the beat is how I connect to dance. Salsa and latin music...never studied or played it, and finding the beat seemed impossible to me. But I bought his product...worked on the lessons, and then starting streaming salsa music one day to get some over-exposure to new songs. And then *click*...I didn't have to count...I didn't have to think...I was there, feeling the this the beginning of Salsa fever? Anyway, a big thanks to Fernando...been meaning to give you some kudos, your product ROCKS! :)

    The point to my life has really changed from learning how to dance...but it does make one feel odd at times being one of the few partner-less people at the Friday night boogie sessions.

    So, any advice from the would be greatly appreciated! And for the record, I get my feet stomped on more than I stomp on the ladies feet (and they usually wear heels, ouch!). :)


  2. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I'm no authority on this, scorpionguy, since I'm still looking. But there are websites out there -- comes immediately to mind, which are like dating services, only for dancers. A database of people seeking dance partners, searchable by zip code. And reasonably priced. Worth a look.
  3. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    Hi Pygmalion!

    Thank you for replying...I'll give that site a look-see! Hmm, I'm still overly cautious of meeting people online though. I tried that for a while for dating...and well, err...had some interesting experiences. I mean hey, all that matters in romance is that the two people get along...regardless of how you meet. But I must say, the annonimity of the net sure makes dating sites a hangout for some really evil people to search for their prey....*shudder*. I've had enough of that for one lifetime, thank you! :shock:

    Well, my only idea for now is to just keep dancing, taking classes, and eventually I'll find a good partner. It's funny, all throughout my life everyone kept saying I should dance...and I used to avoid the dreaded "D" word on dates since most women I met loved to dance. Now, I'm finding most people I meet are scared to death of odd.

    I'm trying to muster my courage to go to a Salsa event this weekend...after my first experience I'm still a bit gun-shy...but I'm gonna make myself do it. I just got back from a dance (mostly Ballroom) and all those lessons certainly paid time to put all this Salsa practice to the true test.

    Wish me luck! :)


  4. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    Good Luck SG!! Be sure to report back!!
  5. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Also good ideas, scorpionguy. I've never done the internet thing, myself, although I do have a profile on

    Another good idea is to do what you're doing. I know a few couples who met, danced together, and eventually became either dance partners or romantic partners, or both. All in the dance studio. You never know. :D

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