But you already follow you partner around anyway. For example, she steps backward after the molinete, and you have to go with her otherwise you will disconnect with her. That's following. So I thought you might as well learn to do it well and enjoy it more. You will have to dance with someone who leads. There are lots of women nowadays who dance in a leader's role. But of course it is up to you. Social tango is not "a set of matching steps and movements on each side to memorize". It does not work that way. And unless you abandon that notion, the confusion will remain.