Salsa > "I can follow anything you can lead"

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by DanceMentor, Jan 4, 2012.

  1. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Yes. From my experience with salsa nights, you have to be extremely skilled or very hot. But to get deeper with it, it doesn't matter how good of a dancer you are. What matters is how you make the guy feel. You can mess up five times a song, and if you crack up laughing each time you mess up, he digs it. He's going to ask you to dance again and again as long as he thinks he can make you laugh. *shrug*
  2. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    A good friend I made in Lindy class a few years ago was a salsera with about 4 years experience. She had met and become friends with two other women at the "PCH Club" at the "Golden Sails Motel" on Pacific Coast Highway, so she referred to them as "The PCH Girls". The other two were blonde, whereas she wasn't. One of her complaints was that her "buddies" always got asked to dance whereas she, the brunette, wasn't. Latino bias, ┬┐vale?
  3. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    What an odd realization I have upon reading this post. The number of blonds I see when I go dancing seems to be about 1/10 of what I see in the general public.
  4. basicarita

    basicarita Member

    Vale. :-?

    I'm a brunette too, and it happens to me a lot too.
  5. Aura

    Aura Active Member

    Like any absolute statement, one finds that it only serves to lessen his/her credibility, and only increase one's skepticism. Of course, if she just phrased it wrong and meant she's a willing follower, then it'd be a different situation entirely. But, from the context, it sounds like she was just being overconfident.
  6. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    in my experience, that sentiment is only expressed by an untrained person who thinks that they have a lot of natural aptitude.

    the more attractive women get asked more initially, but if they can't dance, they only get asked once by the guys who are there to dance. and the guys who can't dance tend to be the ones they "learn" from so it often compounds the problem.

    it is what it is.
  7. Showing that you are having a good time trumps whether you can follow all the moves with perfection. But then again there's the other extreme. I recently had a dance with a lady at a social. She seemed like she was having a great time, laughing a her mistakes. The problem was there were so many mistakes! It was frustrating. Her balance was horible. I gave her two turns at the end and her elbow wacked me in the head!

    I think it has a lot to do with your personality. If I like you, then I'll let it slide.
  8. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    Read "as long as he thinks you are enjoying yourself" as another way to think about it.
  9. This is not unusual. I'm not particularly advanced (okay, wait, I'm not advanced at all) and I hope I spend most of my time leading from my fingertips (when not connected more fully). It's also something that is taught even in low level intermediate classes, or even some beginner classes I've had, I think.
  10. Don Silver

    Don Silver Member

    Wow... I wonder how many people know that reference? :)

    I agree... They usually are in the "don't know what they don't know..." camp.

    I'll have to find the links to those studies (you may have already added them on this thread, I haven't read any further...)

    Totally right!
  11. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    What is wrong and how does a follower know it is wrong?
  12. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Hmm, surprised I missed that one, thanks for calling it out.

    A follower who does not follow, even if it is wrong, is not following. She may have many valid reasons for not following, but she isn't following.

    I dance all the time with ladies that guess what I am trying to lead, instead of actually following. That doesn't work out unless I lead what they guess.
  13. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    I should add, I also have the opportunity to dance with ladies that follow. <happy sigh>
  14. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    there are arguments one could make that the perfect lead leaves no room for guessing... :tongue:

    IAE, my MO is to follow what's led (or what i understand being led...) during social dancing, but during group classes i may at times not follow but do my own part regardless, as an aid for someone i know is having a hard time finding his way. i don't feel it's only his responsibility in that context -- we are sharing the learning experience.

    other than that... dancing with a partner is about making the best of what someone gives you, however you understand it, and sending your best back, so on a dance floor "make it work and make it enjoyable" is generally my personal credo. if i'm doing that, i figure...can't ask for much more. there are simply way too many variables on a social dance floor...well, on any dance floor, for that matter.
  15. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    understood. I was just voicing my objecting to the notion of a follower not following a "wrong" lead.
  16. The thing with dancing with ladies who actually follows is if you don't have a correct lead they will simply go with what you actually leads instead of what you meant to lead.

    I have been told off so many times that why am I not doing fallaways or pivots or whatever the leader was trying to lead. However, I do not feel like the leader is leading that move. What to do ? Do what they are leading or do what they are actually trying to lead ?
  17. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    The guys who tell you off for this are of course, inadequate. In a social dance, it is always the man's fault, whether it is or it isn't. ;-)
  18. juwest333

    juwest333 Active Member

    :uplaugh: Truer words have never been spoken!
  19. ajiboyet

    ajiboyet Well-Known Member

    You're a lady, aren't you?
  20. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    If a lady has the ability to recognize that I'm being excruciatingly polite, that will show. She will usually want to dance with me again, and will actually try harder to follow what I lead. At least, this has been my experience.

    Whereas, if I intimate that she is doing it wrong, at worst, I look like an arrogant fool, if I am in fact the one at fault, and at best, I'm an arrogant know-it-all who is not pleasant to dance with.

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