Dancers Anonymous > I don't want a relationship. I don't need a relationship.

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by brujo, Sep 26, 2005.

  1. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    And I find it really easy to turn up the heat on the dance floor...I'm pretty quiet otherwise. Maybe that's why I've had more relationships/dates that started from the dance floor then elsewhere...hmmm..
     
  2. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    I'm in a similar situation right now. Dancefloor is such a bother. There's this guy, we have amazing chemistry but I can't tell for my life if it could become something more.

    Twilight Elena
     
  3. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Yup. We all love Jenn, of course you were joking. :D

    Twilight Elena
     
  4. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    Meaning that unsafe can view safe as an easy mark?

    Actually, I was playing off of Pygmalion's remark about safe as saying that safe is not attractive. Though I do realize that she was saying something more like what attracts her does not involve consideration over safety. But to that, I would add that while it would [usually and normally] be sexual attraction that gets your attention, the likelihood of surviving a relationship with that person would also come into play -- and, after you have lived past your late teens and early twenties and are no longer immortal, concern for your own survivability would increase.

    But where I am now is that my counselor has me on match.com to get me to start dating. She keeps asking me if I feel any sparks (both there but also in daily contacts) while my powder is thoroughly soaked and cannot be affected by any sparks. Not only does nobody listed appeal to me, but I am even almost totally dispassionate about even the sexiest daily female sightings. Yes, I do still like women and prefer their company, but as people.

    But when we say "relationship", we're only talking about initimate relationships, whereas in reality we constantly have countless relationships with everybody we come in contact with, even the other drivers on the road. Yes, most of them are very superficial and fleeting, but we have many long-term relationships even when we are "terminally single". And I think it is in those relationships with the complementary sex that are not intimate (and which may or may not approach intimacy) that we can work on learning what we need to for that intimate relationship that might be coming eventually.
     
  5. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    Well, far be it from me to contradict what your counselor's saying, but, to be honest, DWise1, I think if that's the way you genuinely feel then you're not ready to start dating again yet. It's up to you, but think about it.

    Apart from anything else, Sod's Law (I think it's called Murphy's Law in the US) states that if you go looking for something, you're never gonna find it. But, if you stop looking.... who knows what might happen? :cool: :D

    Rosa :)
     
  6. cl5814

    cl5814 New Member

    Pygmalion,

    Yip = yes/i agree/i concur.
     
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I agree with you rosa...and I wonder at your therapist's credentials...no offense DWise....
     
  8. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    EXACTLY...intimacy doesnt come right away and it doesnt have to be solely sexual....I think it bes to focus on reconnect as a person with as many other people male and female right now....when we are only looking for romantic intimacy and arent cultivating other relationships of both genders for frindship...we can tend to give way too much power to the need to find a lover....

    regarding safe....and boring....unsafe can be boring safe can be boring...safe can be attracted to unsafe and visa versa and all other combinations....point is...healthy and sane and sober and smart...picks likewise....and if not, they at least know they are in for it as they go into it...
     
  9. lynn

    lynn New Member

    Add me, plz!
     
  10. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Woah, chief, I'm getting debris from broken hearts over here!

    Twilight Elena
     
  11. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    Where is Brujo? He hasn't been seen or heard of since Christmas Eve! :shock:

    Could it be a case of, "New Year, new relationship?"

    Sorry Brujo, don't mean to be cheeky, but it would be interesting to hear your comments. :cool:

    Rosa :)
     

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